Welp, the trip isn’t going as planned. I’m having issues sleeping, issues eating, issues being nice, and well, just everything.
I’ve turned back into an absolute jerk. Why? Can’t really pinpoint it. I think I didn’t *need* this vacation. Hell, I don’t know if I even wanted it. I miss my boxers. I miss my dogs. I miss my friends. I miss the life that I finally got back on track.
I did move my flight back up one day. Thankfully. No, this isn’t failure. This is me trying to solve the problem. Or avoid it? Who the fuck knows. I’m lonely here.
Yeah, it’s only a few day trip, but every single moment for an individual who struggles with depression and anxiety feels 25x longer than your average dude.
My nightmares returned. Sleepless nights full of sweat. I didn’t miss these.
I set a reminder to write a blog yesterday. It popped up again today and I moved it back again. Then I just decided to fucking write. I don’t think it’s doing much, but at least I’m heard here.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.