Celebrating Others

Hi, everybody!

Gooooood morning!

It actually is a good morning. Last night I had a great time with a friend and we followed it up with a drive through a torrential downpour. It was pretty awesome. Downtown is flooded but… it still looked and felt pretty dang cool. (I hope everyone is alright downtown, of course.)

But last night at dinner I found some trouble within myself. I noticed I wasn’t truly embracing and relishing in my friend’s recent successes. Instead, I was thinking if I did anything about as cool/even better. What kind of dick thinks that way?

A lot of us do. And a lot of us need to change that. It all comes down to being an active listener. That whole idea of listening to listen, not to respond. You don’t always have to have something to say back—sometimes a nod is better than breaking off into your own tangent.

Think about it, though. If you give others your undivided attention and just purely listen, there’s a good chance they notice that and do the same for you when you want to share successes or even failures.

Become an active listener. I have said it since my last breakup and I am still working on it daily. I think it’s something we should all work on. Don’t you?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Jam-Packed Day

Hi, everybody!

Spoiler: Nothing really to write, just wanted to check in and say hi. Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend so far. Also, I’m pretty sure I grossly messed up the title. I don’t know if a hyphen should be there. I really don’t. I’m just winging it, alright?

What are we thinking about today? Lots of things.

  • The girlfriend is in Egypt and she’s homesick and it’s impacting how she’s interacting with me.
  • I have lunch with a couple of friends and then a shit show of a party to go to.
  • I’m really excited for Monday. Why? I get to work on chores and get myself ready for a big week.
  • I’m getting slightly nervous for my trip to Dallas to meet all of my new coworkers.
  • I’m happy I’m writing right now.

I talk about gratitude a lot and I hope it resonates with you as it does with me. Each time I sit down here to write, I’m reminded to be grateful for everything I have in my life, both inside and outside of myself.

We have this one shot, everybody. Let’s use it. And if you don’t want to use it today, that’s just fine. You’ll have more opportunities. I promise.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Fourth of July Weekend!

Hi, everybody!

Hope you’re doing well today.

I practically started this blog like a work email. Nice.

OK! It’s the weekend, baby. And not just that, it’s the weekend of the 4th! Extra day off. Extra day to… sleep in? Who knows. I don’t have much planned as usual. Nothing tonight outside of boxing training – about to head to the pool right now so I’m writing this blog suuuuper fast.

Tomorrow night will be a shit show. My “drinking buddies” are having a birthday party for our friends. Let’s hope I don’t end up cuddling a toilet, alright? I’m not made up of the same stuff I used to be made up of. I have 2-3 drinks now and fall over. It’s ridiculous, man, RIDICULOUS. But it keeps me from over-drinking, which is nice. Real nice.

Sunday? Well, I don’t know. I’ll figure something out. I’m just happy that my dogs don’t freak out over fireworks and I don’t have too many obligations this year. It should be a relaxing time with a lot of big booms. Let’s do this.

And for those readers of mine that are outside of the US, ENJOY YOURSELF, TOO! Have some fun! Do something stupid, maybe.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Sneaking It In

Good evening, everybody!

Not often do I write to you lot this late. It’s past 10 PM where I’m at right now. Almost broke the streak, phew. Thankfully I have nothing better to do than think about tomorrow and not sleep for the next… three hours? That sounds about right.

Honestly it’s been a great day. Family and friends came by for a relaxing grill out. Good morning workout. Dogs relaxed. Neighbors friendly. I might be making NFTs and I don’t even know what they really are. I mean it was a pretty damn good day.

But I’ve been thinking… I don’t want to keep updating you lot on my day. I need a mission here. I need a purpose to this blog outside of myself. Yes, this helps me. Writing to you helps me, but that’s selfish. I don’t want it to be like that.

So what am I good at? Talking? Kinda. Coaching? I think so. Life advice? Who the hell wants that. Dog photos? Can’t do that, might be able to pin my identity then. Humor? I’m not that funny.

Till I figure out what to do next with this blog, you’ll keep reading what my professors used to call “word vomiting”. I’m not even thinking when I’m writing to you. Just typing. Little fingers going pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter – ok, sorry, that turned into a little game for me. Wanted to see how quickly I could type “pitter patter” over and over again till I messed up. Let’s try it again.

Pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patterp FUCK. That was fun, though.

Are you lost?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Goal Met

Hi, everybody!

Writing from my phone today. You’ll never guess. I’m busy again today.

WordPress does this thing which notifies you when you’re on a blog post streak. I set out a month ago to knock out 30 in 30 days, and just yesterday I was notified from my last post that I did in fact achieve that goal.

So I guess I’m done here. Thanks for reading.

I’m kidding (you could probably tell). There’s less pressure on me from myself to write now, but I think I’ve built a good habit of making sure I get something down on this site.

I need to come up with a list of topics moving forward. I still just sit down and start typing. Let’s see… what would be good to go over? Let’s try gratitude.

Today I’m grateful for many things: Friendships, family, steady job, boxing (my passion), coaching (having an issue here but still grateful), the food in my fridge, the water in my outdated water cooler, MY DOGS, really so so much. My life is pretty dang cool. So is your life. Please remember that.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Waiting at Vet

Hi, everybody.

Title is pretty self-explanatory. I’m at the vet. Both dogs getting juiced up with their yearly shots so I decided to write to you lot. Hopefully they’re drowsy the rest of the day, right? I could use a break from their energy.

So what’s on the agenda today? BOXING! And fixing up a boxing club that’s been in the community for 43 years. It’s a tremendous place run by one of the best men you could possibly meet. He’s run this club for FORTY THREE years. And it’s all been free for inner city kids to come box and compete out of there. You hear that? 43 years of service to community. All to help, not for money. Pretty damn cool.

Combat sports are cool. The community is even cooler. You would think we’re all jerks who want to beat everyone up, but it’s quite the opposite. Now put us in a ring with someone and yeah, we want to beat that person up. But I’ve never seen a more helpful and inclusive community than the boxing community here where I live.

I’m excited to go down there and paint some more, bullshit with the coaches, and give my boxers hell for messing up on the trim.

Today’s another busy day, but another good busy day. I’m excited for today. I hope you are, too. If you aren’t, think about volunteering some of your time. It’s never a wasteful act.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Trouble Brewing

Hi, everybody.

Welp, the trip isn’t going as planned. I’m having issues sleeping, issues eating, issues being nice, and well, just everything.

I’ve turned back into an absolute jerk. Why? Can’t really pinpoint it. I think I didn’t *need* this vacation. Hell, I don’t know if I even wanted it. I miss my boxers. I miss my dogs. I miss my friends. I miss the life that I finally got back on track.

I did move my flight back up one day. Thankfully. No, this isn’t failure. This is me trying to solve the problem. Or avoid it? Who the fuck knows. I’m lonely here.

Yeah, it’s only a few day trip, but every single moment for an individual who struggles with depression and anxiety feels 25x longer than your average dude.

My nightmares returned. Sleepless nights full of sweat. I didn’t miss these.

I set a reminder to write a blog yesterday. It popped up again today and I moved it back again. Then I just decided to fucking write. I don’t think it’s doing much, but at least I’m heard here.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

A Weirder Than Normal April Fools’ Day

Hi, everybody.

This post isn’t necessarily about April Fools’ Day. I mean, as you lot know, I really have no clue what the fuck I’m going to write about 99% of the time on here. So let’s get into it.

This morning started with a… groggy me. I stayed up too late last night. Amazon purchases, putting together a desk, trying to get my office to not look like a 13-year Call of Duty player’s game room. I spent quite a bit of time starting off into space last night, just thinking. No bad thoughts–it was quite nice.

BUT let’s get into the funny thing this morning. As I mentioned, I woke up groggy, not all there. I called my friend after he messaged “I have some bad news.”

“—–, what’s up? What’s going on?”

“—–, the wife and I were talking last night and… well, I don’t think we’re spending enough time together so I’m getting rid of my gaming computer.”

Instantly I felt terrible. I’ve pulled him away from his wife multiple times to play “vidjie” games. To be quite clear, it is HIS choice and HIS fault he plays as much as he does (yeah, bro, I know you’re reading this). I will not let that man pass the buck. But fuck, did he get me good this morning. Heart dropped. Thought his marriage was over. Luckily it’s April 1 and, well, it was all a joke. Thank God. I love those two together. Even if the wife has a love/hate for me.

Another fun thing happened this morning. My boss sent out a company-wide email about my resignation. I told him he should of used this day to his advantage and tell the company I’m pursuing my dream of becoming a private dancer in a small town. Sadly he chose not to lose his job and just mentioned where I’m actually heading after I leave this company. I’ve received some very nice messages from my colleagues. It’s been really, really nice to read.

An update on how I’m doing trying to fool people today? Absolutely fucking terrible. I can’t come up with anything believable. I tried a broken wrist and a few other things I’m not proud to mention. I can’t decide if a subtle fool is more usable than a… scary fools, like me being accidentally impaled by my low fence in the backyard. I don’t know. I hope I figure out something.

Well, thank you for reading my post about absolutely nothing. I hope you lot have some fun today. Oh, remind me to get more sleep, OK? Thank you.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Quick But Sad (Maybe?) Thoughts

Hi, everybody!

I’ll make this quick. As I mentioned yesterday in my post (oh my gosh, you didn’t read it, did you? Don’t worry, I got you), I put in my two weeks at a company I’ve worked for over the past three years.

One thing I didn’t notice? Well, a lot of people care about me in this company. I’ve had such nice words come my way over these past 24 hours. It’s been really great. Also has me a bit in my feels. But you know what this tells me? I know I’m a good person, and it looks like others know it, too. Feels kinda good, not gonna lie. Especially with how much I’ve told myself that I’m shit over this past year.

I really do hope I’m able to hold on to some of these relationships as I move forward, but we all know how that ends up turning out. Luckily we have LinkedIn, IG, Twitter, texts, etc., to stay in touch. Shouldn’t be tough, right? It still is.

Anyway, not really sad thoughts after I’ve typed it out. Again, this is what’s wonderful about writing. You learn about yourself and work through struggles, naturally.

I wish you the best. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

I Did It

Hi, everybody.

Welp, I did it. You read that right. I officially put in my two-week resignation letter this morning with my boss. This is a company I’ve been at for three years and really helped me grow into the person I am today. I am very grateful for my time there.

However, I am so, so very excited to move on to a new challenge. My dearest friend told me a week or two back, “It seems like you’re the smartest guy at the table at the company and that’s never a good thing.”

He was right. It really hit home. It pushed me to take that final leap and trust in myself at a new company with a new challenge. A place where I will be the dumbest at the table again. Can’t fuckin’ wait. TEACH ME ALL THE THINGS!

I’ve been passively searching for a job for the past year. I’ve probably applied, no lie, at over 200 places. I’ve done, again no lie, over 100 interviews in the past year. Received a few offers but none felt right. I waited. I trusted my judgment. I asked others what they thought, the people I trust. My support system. Then things changed. I started actively hunting for a new job. Big difference. It was one of my main focuses, and guess what? It paid off. Literally and figuratively.

I wouldn’t have been able to take this leap if I didn’t believe in myself. I always tell you lot everything comes from you, and it’s true. But I wouldn’t be here today without the fantastic friends and family I have, the ones pushing me forward. None of their words and advice mean shit if I don’t look within myself and understand that everything, every decision, needs to be made by me when dealing with my own life. But again, a support system can’t go unnoticed. So thanks Pops, dear friend (you know who you are), and all the other people in my life that have no clue about this blog.

Oh, and thank you. You reading this blog has such a positive impact on me and my mental health, and I hope it does some of the same for you.

KEEP PUSHIN, BABY!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.