A Sigh (or Sign) of Relief

Hi, everybody.

Well, I might have finally struck gold. Three members of my team at work left for another company recently and now they’re actively recruiting me. So much so that they’re willing to put interviews on my calendar for next Monday and Tuesday! I mean, we already have the second interview scheduled? They must love my LinkedIn profile quite a bit.

But it really is a huge stress reliever. This company wants to move fast and it’s a 50% pay increase. Also, it’s a job I think I would enjoy much more at a company that’s growing at an immense pace. Also, leadership looks solid across the board.

But I can’t count my chickens before they hatch (that’s the first time I’ve used that expression, I don’t know if I used it correctly) and I must make sure to stay focused on the task at hand: Absolutely crushing the interviews.

Wish me luck. I need a change.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Another Day, Another Bill Pay

Hi, everybody!

Well, it’s the 23rd of the month so guess what?! It’s BILL DAY! Gas, electric, and internet all came in this morning (it’s like they communicate with each other) and I have to admit, now that I’m 30 it feels FANTASTIC to pay your bills on time. And that’s just what I did.

But you don’t want to read about me paying bills, so let’s get into this shitty brain of mine, eh?

I’ve been told to reparent myself – not doing a great job at it so far. I just told you lot that I have a shitty brain. I’m supposed to tell myself I have a special brain or some shit.

Honestly, I’m quite mad I spent money on my last therapy session. It wasn’t worth it. It struck up some old stuff. Some stuff from the past. But it didn’t help me to move forward or to do what I actually want to do – stay in the moment. And I’m starting to question therapy (and I LOVE therapy) because there’s so much focus on the past. And I’m done with the damn past. Are you? I hate the past.

It’s just another day for me. Fall is hitting and I’m loving that. Waking up and throwing on a sweatshirt always feels good – comforting, really – and I’m excited to get my Fall workouts in. They’re usually my best workouts of the year.

Oh, daily reminder that I very much dislike my job.

Are you excited for Fall?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Somewhat of a Milestone, Somewhat of a Brag

Hi, everybody!

OK so yeah, this blog might be a little big of a brag. I knew I could do what I set out to do yesterday, but I had no idea it would be THAT easy.

So what did I do?

Nothing crazy. I went for a run. I decided seven miles is the goal and the pace needs to be at a max of eight minutes. I ended up easily running the seven and getting right around seven minutes and thirty seconds as an average. AND GUESS WHAT? I think I could hit seven minutes next time. We’ll see. My final mile was sub-seven, so I feel pretty confident.

Now, here’s the problem. I’m 30 and I haven’t ran that long of a distance in long while. MY BODY HURTS. My legs feel like cement getting jackhammered. But I’m proud of myself and wow, the sunset running around the lake was something special last night. And here’s another “guess what”: I went on the run with someone I care about. Now, she ended up being about fifteen minutes behind me, but she absolutely killed the run, too. I am a man over six feet with long legs – hard to keep up with me.

But yeah, today is a lifting day and a boxing day. Tomorrow will either be sparring or a rest day. IF tomorrow isn’t a rest day, Friday most definitely will be.

What challenges have you put in front of yourself recently? Have you dominated them? I hope you’re challenging yourself every single damn day. It’s worth it. Trust me.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

WHAT DO I DO

Hi, everybody.

This will be quick because it’s just a freakout. It’s an issue I have EVERY SINGLE WORK DAY.

I need a new job. This shit is driving me nuts. Never have I been more lackluster in my efforts at a place of employment, even back in my serving and bartending days. The leadership sucks, the structure sucks, and our strategies suck. I need a way out – luckily I have an interview either later this week or early next week with another company that actually makes a damn difference in people’s lives.

But shit, I need to get out. When you’re struggling with your job, the worth of it, etc., what do you do to perk yourself up? Or do you just say fuck it, time to get a new job? I’m at the latter stages. I’ve given this job… about 5 months. It’s not getting better. If anything, it’s getting more and more disorganized. It’s shitty to see, but at least I’m seeing it for what it’s worth and trying to make moves out of it.

But again, WHAT DO I DO?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Reminder to Slow Down

Hi, everybody.

If you read my last post, you read that I TKO’d the guy I fought yesterday. Pretty cool feeling. But this morning I woke up and thought instantly, “you need to slow down”. My body is tired, my mind is tired, and my days run together. Maybe my routine is smacking me in the face and I’m not even acknowledging it? Who knows.

I do know I need to slow down. Take some more time to breathe everything in. I know this because my irritability is at an all-time high. If you ask me the same question more than once, I get angry. That’s not good. Not good at all. And it showed yesterday as I took out ALL of my anger on the poor guy I was boxing.

Not a bad place to take your anger out on someone, but still need to adjust my internal dialogue so I don’t have that anger, ya know?

Internal dialogue is something else. It’s a never-ending battle, at least that’s what it feels like. Some people say you can control it and be friends with your internal self (yes I sound crazy acting like they’re different from the you-you) but it’s true. Our internal dialogue says things our own selves would never think to say out loud. I’d love to be able to conquer that internal dialogue and think more positively about myself. That’s the goal for this week. Well, the second goal.

Goal 1: Slow down.

Goal 2: “Re-parent” myself by thinking more positively about my actions.

Oh, and have you thought about slowing down recently? Take a breath.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Got a TKO

Hi, everybody.

I’m going to make this quick (like my last fight) and just celebrate a small success with you lot.

I’ll admit: the guy I fought tonight was SHIT. But I don’t control that. TKO within the first minute of the fight. Easy win.

That’s the first knockout I’ve earned in this sport outside of body shots in sparring. Feels pretty fucking good.

We go again on Saturday! Hopefully the competition is stronger.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Fighting Tomorrow

Hi, everybody.

Yep, fight is still on for tomorrow. Fighting some 27 year old guy, don’t know anything else about him. I feel confident. Really confident. So much so that I’m writing to you with my back flat on the ground, neck slightly titled, with a foam roller under my hamstrings. Hold on, let me put my head down for a second–this thing is heavy.

OK, I’m back. This is quite the neck workout.

But tomorrow, tomorrow is the fight! Second one back. Should be able to keep the momentum going into next weekend where I fight on Saturday. From there, I’ll look to my coach to set up a small pro debut.

It’s exciting being this active in the sport and this relaxed on the inside when it comes to the competition. I’m three pounds under the maximum weight for this fight (catchweight at 170 pounds) so I don’t need to worry about a cut. Main thing is keeping my legs and shoulders relaxed and recharging them for tomorrow.

Best thing I can do for myself today to stay ready? Take myself away from boxing for the day. I’ll attend a Septemberfest (don’t worry, worst I’ll drink is a lemonade) followed by my buddy’s comedy show (again. don’t worry).

Relax, recharge, win. I hope you have an absolutely splendid Saturday. I’m going to get back to rolling out these hamstrings (it hurts so fucking bad).

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Excited to Write?!

Hi, everybody!

I’m not in a great mood today but I am going to act like it!

Kidding, I’m in an OK mood but who cares, right?

It’s 10:42 AM CT and I’m finished with most of my work for the day. I can’t wait for the next couple of hours to pass so I can hit the gym, hit the sauna, hit the steam room, and hit the whirlpool. Ah, I love recovering prior to a fight. Also I ate like shit last night so I need to cut that out and lose a little bit of weight before my fight on Sunday.

But man, I am so excited to be writing to you lot today. I really don’t have the slightest clue as to why, but my writing is starting to feel less like a chore now that I know I can stop this streak whenever I damn well please.

I’ve picked up reading again. Normal pattern for me: Read for a couple of weeks, stop for a couple of months, read for a couple of weeks, repeat. I’d like to change that but hey, reading for a couple of weeks is better than most people in this world. At least I think. I’m also getting crushed by my best friend because he reads like two books a week. Insane.

What else is going on? I guess I’ve been on a roller coaster of loneliness/not lonely. The switch in feeling happens so quickly. I really do need to figure out why I’m so different in the morning compared to at night.

And where can I figure this shit out? Through writing. But also I have a therapy session at 2:30 PM today. That should help, too.

What are you up to today? Have you checked in with yourself to see where your head and heart are at for the day? I highly recommend you do so–it always helps me when I take 2-3 minutes to figure out that shit.

Anyway, thank you for reading. Two more days till another dub!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Broken Promise

Hi, everybody.

First, let me say I don’t know if I ever promised to stop writing daily. I said I wanted to. Things change (as I’ve mentioned in 25-50 blog posts here) and I decided to take some time right now to jot down some thoughts.

Mornings are long, nights are short.

My dogs are a blessing and a curse.

I want more freedom.

I would like to travel to Las Vegas for the Bud Crawford fight on November 20th but money will stop me from going.

Each day feels the same.

I’m missing that special someone in my life and I’m worried that I’ve broken too far apart from that side of me, leaving me alone for the rest of my life due to my failure to open up and be myself. I mean, it’s scary to tell people exactly who you are or how you act – more of what you’re capable of than anything else, really. It’s scary to others.

I box this Sunday. I’m kind of excited for it, kind of not. This was a rushed matchup so I don’t know what I’m getting myself into here.

I wish my mind was more creative. Like, a lot more creative.

Graphic design is something I wish I could create the patience for.

I am thinking about a lot more right now than I even thought.

My investments are doing well for once. That’s cool.

I need a new job. This one will do for now but man, I am bored.

I think that covers my thoughts for right now. I know you lot didn’t ask for them. What are you thinking about today? What’s taking the most mental real estate in your life right at this moment?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Two Fights, One Weekend?!

Hi, everybody!

Some (maybe) incredible news to share with ya! My coach called me yesterday and told me he can get me matched up for amateur boxing bouts on Saturday and Sunday this weekend. Don’t worry, fighting back-to-back days is normal in amateur, especially if it’s a tournament.

I’m PUMPED. Luckily I’ve been training hard as I knew I fight on the 25th of this month, but getting some solid work here before the end of the year is very important if I want to successfully go pro early 2022. As many fights as possible, please. Keep em’ coming.

Exciting stuff. Now I need to take a step outside, hang out with my pups, foam roll my legs out, ice, stretch, and head to training/coaching!

Oh, you know today is 150 days in a row? I don’t know if I’ll stop. This post was too easy to write. I mean, how exciting, right?!

Let’s beat some people up this weekend!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.