Spasms & Serenity

Hi, everybody.

Title doesn’t make much sense, does it? Yeah, I know. I think it’ll make more sense as we go along here.

It’s end of quarter. I’m at 99% to goal. I don’t know if I’ll get to 100%. I’m really angry, frustrated, and disappointed. There was probably 100 things I could’ve done differently. The stress is real and even though I’m feeling much better about myself, I can’t help but feel pressure from this scenario. It’s not all the time, but right now it is too much. I don’t want the weekend to come because I want to keep working.

We’ve really made this world healthy, haven’t we?

Work, work, hey you! Work some more.

Eat shit.

Seriously, what the hell are we doing? Every single day it’s work, then follow it up with your second job/hobby, maybe find a pocket of time to eat a sandwich, and guess what – get back to fucking work.

What have we done with this world? Don’t even get me started on the amount of times we LIE to each other in the business world. WHY? We’ve overcomplicated everything in this damn world. Everything. Basic human interaction? Nah, who wants that? That’s not convoluted enough.

Ok, sorry, got off track. Maybe it was a spasm. That’s usually what happens with my writing – I just go on a tear and have to refocus myself. What the hell were we talking about?

SERENITY! Ha. It’s funny to transition into this right after what I typed above. Borderline impossible, but I AM A BEACON OF POSITIVITY and will make sure to expand on what serenity means to me today.

I’m happy. I am. I’m content. I am. I’m not content with being content – and that’s always a positive.

But serenity is difficult. It’s not about being happy. It’s not about being successful. It’s about being at peace. One thing I’ve always struggled and one thing that is quite visibly apparent to most folks I have relationships with.

So what does it mean to me? Right now, it means “unattainable” – but I’m working on shifting my mind there to a more positive outlook. Maybe I can find myself in a state of serenity from time to time. It doesn’t have to be right now. It doesn’t have to be 24/7, but even a 5-minute pocket of serenity would do me something special.

I think I’ll work on that. Let’s just hope I don’t spaz out too much on my journey. Thanks for reading whatever the hell this blog was. Jeesh.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.