What Even Is This

Hi everybody. It’s been a minute since I last chatted with ya. You been good? I’ve been back & forth. Good, bad, good, bad. Don’t forget to feel a bit “meh” every once in a while, too.

Enough bitching. What can we discuss that’s constructive today? I decided two days again that I was blogging today. Why do I plan my blogs? To make sure I do them. Should I plan topics? Yep, looks like it.

I said no bitching – and I’ll do my best there. However, I do want to discuss work.

What’s the deal with work.

Why does work seemingly have so much impact on my mental health? It sucks.

Shit, I was bitching. My bad.

OK, also need to watch out for language. All over today. You know funny enough, I’m in a barber shop right now waiting for my haircut. Had to drop a buddy off at the airport earlier and have this weird void in between. Never thought I’d blog at a barbershop.

And this morning has been quite the ride. I did an idiotic thing and reached back out to an ex. I finally broke. I had to grab some coffee and the most convenient coffee shop was right by her work. I got coffee, left, thought I’d be fine. Next thing I know, I’m sending a letter to the damn person. All because I saw a building. Memories can suck sometimes, ya know? I mean I know the way my day shapes out comes out to what I think, but right now I think “shit, I’m alone” and I think that far too often. When will I feel like I’m not here alone? Like I’m not speaking into the void.

Damn it, I’m bitching again. Maybe if I slow down doing that, life will get better.

All of the maybes in the world haven’t been able to figure anything out yet. Yet. One day? That’s what we hope for. Any of you struggling with mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, I hope you can take a second to breathe. Hold on, let me do it real quick. Ok, now take a second to breathe. Let’s take on this weird ass day together. Thanks for reading this weird blog. I’ll do better next time. Maybe.

Also, adding this in at the end… writing this helped me.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.