Figuring Out Passion

One thing I struggle with on a daily basis, moreso over the past four months since my break-up & most of my life shifted in a different direction, is what I’m passionate about nowadays.

In the midst of the pandemic, my normal passion, boxing, is put to a halt. Coaching children in the art of boxing isn’t something I can just up & go do right now. That’s left me a bit stranded. I have, however, volunteered more of my time to another volunteer opportunity & I do hope the work with that picks up.

Passion, it’s an odd thing really. One day you have it, one day you don’t. It’s OK though, sometimes feeling passionate isn’t natural. For me, it’s understandable that it’s difficult to feel passionate about anything right now. My life, along with all of your lives, shifted in a crazy way. Those who used to spend their evenings with friends, having drinks, etc. are all now… somewhat stuck in their homes if they’re listening to social distancing guidelines. I sometimes fail at that, but if I didn’t go out in public (gym, grocery store, sometimes the bar for a soccer match), I would go ABSOLUTELY INSANE.

So let’s get back to passion. If you read my last post, you know that I also struggle with focus. That’s definitely on display here.

I’m almost 30. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that in the past, but that eats at me. Not because I think I’m old, but due to the fact that I don’t feel passionate about a single thing in life right now. At the age of 30, or just a bit younger, I thought I’d have it all figured out by now. Luckily I acknowledge that’s a myth & no one really has anything figured out in life. We’re all just winging it. Yes, you may have a plan, but there’s a good chance that doesn’t go exactly your way. I speak from experience, it definitely doesn’t go 100% our way when we have a plan.

Holy shit, I’ve somehow managed to get away from the topic at hand again. PULL IT TOGETHER, BLOGGER.

Passion. I don’t have it right now. I wish I did. I need something to keep me going. I am not dangerous when I’m bored, but holy shit do I treat my body like hell when I have nothing to do. Nothing to really look forward to.

It’s important to note that I most likely have plenty to look forward to, but that’s the funny thing about depression & anxiety & whatever else you could be dealing with – those little demons don’t give you much help in feeling good about yourself. They don’t help you find a passion, pursue a passion, or stick to a passion. They’re barriers. And maybe before I worry myself with what I’m passionate about, I should really look at why I’m not happy with myself.

Welp, don’t know if I said anything of value in this post. I hope you’re passionate about something in life, even if it’s something you consider small. It’s so very important to be excited about something in life. When you aren’t, everything just repeats. It’s all the same. Every day is the damn same.

Find a passion. Stick with it. Follow that shit. And if you have any outside the box ideas for a passion, LET ME KNOW. I am in dire need of a new passion. Hell, maybe even a passion project.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.