Yesterday I woke up dehydrated from the previous night. No, not from booze. It was 90 degrees (all humidity) & I played an INTENSE volleyball match in which we lost.
I then proceeded to hang out with a friend &, well, I ran out of gas. I drove an hour home & laid down, chugging as much water as I possibly could. Didn’t really help. Totally forgot about the usefulness of pickle juice.
Anyway, I was freaking out last night & yesterday morning not because I was dehydrated, but because my ex was coming over to pick up some stuff & say hi to the pup. What was the biggest surprise of it all? She stayed for close to 10 hours. Boy, did we have fun.
Am I worried about the fun we had? No. Am I worried about false hope? No. Did yesterday feel normal? Yes. That’s what I’m worried about. It felt normal, which felt good. Gotta push that to the back of my mind… or do I?
Today I’ve decided the best way to push it waaaaaay back into my mind is help my Pops with some manual labor. Building a deck, to be exact. He’ll do most of the work, I guarantee it, but I’ll do what I can. Maybe that’ll keep yesterday off my mind a bit more. Or will it? Should it matter?
But sometimes I think… why fight it? I had a great time yesterday, why push that away? I think it’s the surprise aspect of it all. I just didn’t expect it. Now it’s time to either internalize it, think on it, or act on it. I think the middle option seems the smartest, wouldn’t you agree?
Each day brings surprises, some bad, some good. Always take sufficient time to think on these surprises because, well, you didn’t have time to think about them before because, well, they’re surprises. Don’t get too high. Don’t get too low. It’s so very important.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
The Two Sides of Me 