Relaxing Fight Day

Hi, everybody.

Honestly I’m pretty even-keeled today. My boxing match is later this afternoon–weighing 165.8 (perfect), feeling healthy, have liquids in me, and mentally I’m all here today. Oh, did I mention I went to bed at 11 PM last night? That’s unheard of.

I’ll update you lot with the results when I find time either later this evening or tomorrow morning. Appreciate you chilling on this journey with me. Let’s go!

Oh, side note: I’m extremely excited to see our younger boxer take her first fight today. She’s going to thoroughly kick ass, no doubt about it.

You must decide that you want to enjoy your life and that there is no reason for stress, inner pain, or fear.

Michael A. Singer

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Eating Before Weigh-In

Hi, everybody.

Well, tomorrow is the day! Back in the ring for the first time (competitively) in five or so years. Exciting stuff.

I’m going to hit you with quotes tomorrow… probably. Today I’ll quickly discuss how to manage diet leading into a boxing match.

Ha, just kidding. I’ve never known what to do outside of listen to my own body. I think that’s a solid plan anyway, don’t you? I woke up this morning, didn’t check weight, and went on an extremely light jog. Only went a mile. Weighed myself after, sitting right around weight (168.8, need to be 167-168). What’s that mean? Eat healthy today, eat light, go for a sweat, don’t drink too much water, and go for a tiny sweat in the morning before heading off to weigh in.

I really needed to type that out. To be truthful, this shit is stressful. It is. Thanks for being my sounding board at times.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Last Jog Before the Fight

Hi, everybody.

I hope you’re having a splendid morning. I am, I think? Woke up, went for a 2-mile jog to get the legs going, had a great glass of iced coffee, and now I’m going to take a break from work and hit the sauna.

A couple days before the fight–always a weird time. You don’t know if you’re doing too much, too little, or just enough. Also, making sure you keep on weight is… stressful at times. But I’m here today not so much to talk about myself, but to talk about my journey to this fight.

I was thinking about it on my jog. I’ve trained over six months for this fight. Mentally I’ve been training for over a year. And it hasn’t been easy. I’ve had thoughts of suicide, spells of extreme loneliness, and many lash-outs to those I love. I’ve been nowhere near perfect, but without this fight and sport in front of me, I wouldn’t be typing to you right now. I would be dead.

This fight is life to me. Not life or death, but life. Yes, I may have some issues at work and with my overall life and where it’s headed (where the fuck is it headed?) but I do know one thing: I have a passion, and I’m following that passion.

My friends, no matter how you feel today, remember the journey. You’ve done so much to get to where you are right now–don’t discount that, even if it’s not exactly where you thought you would be. Remember, we have no fucking clue what’s going to happen in this world, in our own lives, hell, even within the next 10 or so minutes. Embrace it. Embrace your lack of control and be you. Be proud.

I wish you the best. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Weight Control

Hi, everybody!

Today we’re going to be discussing weight but not in the normal sense. Actually, I’m in great shape and sit at 6’3″ and 173 pounds.

However, for my fight on Saturday, I need to be 167-168 pounds. And I’m not going to lie, I did terrible at self control last night. I ate a full dinner followed by a plethora of snacks (and not the good kind). I need to be better.

But what I’ve noticed from my eating isn’t that I’m hungry when I eat, I’m just… bored. Super bored. I could be reading, writing, watching TV, playing with my dogs, but my mind still thinks about food in the evening time. And that’s not good for fight week.

So what’s my plan? Well, I can’t start myself. However, I did field some questions from Instagram and to be honest, I got a lot of great advice. No, I’m not going to intermittent fast–no way. No, I’m not going to eat strictly tuna and cottage cheese–absolutely no way. But I can take some of the advice people gave me. Stop eating past 8:30 PM–I’m going to try that tonight. Seriously.

Do you lot have any advice for me? I don’t need to worry too much because I have a few workouts left this week and I’ll be going for jogs every morning, but there is a slight concern there. What do you do when you need to keep a few pounds off or lose a couple pounds here or there?

I’ll be 167-168 Saturday morning. I know I will. Why am I freaking out about it? It’s in my nature. But I’m noticing it now so I can work through it, let it pass, and stay in the moment rather than think about the worst case scenario that won’t happen.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Start of Fight Week

Hi, everybody.

My mental health might be a bit scattered this week. I mean, it usually is anyway, but I do take fight week very seriously. Always have. Actually, even though I’ve only had seven fights, I can comfortably say that I’ve done my best “thinking” during fight weeks. You really have to ask a lot of yourself. And after my final sparring rounds this morning, it’s time to ask those questions.

First thing you have to ask is, is this worth it?

The answer is always yes. At least for me.

Second thing you have to ask is, do you have enough discipline to stay focused and maintain weight?

The answer is always yes. At least for me.

But it’s been five years since my last fight. That one ended regrettably, with a split decision going in the other guy’s favor. He won the fight, probably, but I stopped fighting then. Kinda gave up after a few decisions didn’t go my way in other fights. I had enough of letting the judges tell me I didn’t do enough even when I had the other fighters telling me I did more than them. Or the other coaches. Whatever. I’m not bitter, right? Ha.

But that’s not an issue for me anymore. Even though I just brought it up, I really don’t pay it any mind anymore. Now that I’m a bit older, I’ve realized the only thing that matters is the effort I put into the gym and into my sparring sessions. It’s like Connor Benn says: “You know what I’ve been doing? Crushing it in the gym.”, but he says it in a super cool British accent that I do not posses. Although I’m four to five pounds over the weight limit for my class (middleweight), that’s nothing to worry about. A bit of jogging and a bit of sauna time will clear that water weight right out. Also, fully clean eating will help quite a bit.

I’m ready.

Also, fair warning, this will probably end up being the topic of the week. Hell, I might even talk about how I think each round will go, if it goes past the first round. I’m super pumped, you all. So very excited. The work I’ve put in will have an end result–then I go pro early next year.

It’s true and I’m noticing it now. I’m not saying “if you try hard enough, you can do anything”–I think that’s bullshit. BUT, within reason, yes, you can do anything. Look at me. I blog to a bunch of people every single day and fight people at night. Does it make sense? No. Does it have to make sense? No.

Let’s do this thing.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Hitting My Stride

Hi, everyone!

THREE meetings booked this week. Let me put that into perspective: I booked one meeting over my first month.

It feels good. My boss, the VP of Sales, etc., are starting to throw some love at me. I needed that. I felt I wasn’t performing but as almost anything with life: it takes time.

I’m also doing really well in terms of boxing. I sparred yesterday and barely got touched. Landed quite a few clean jabs against some tough sparring partners. My coach actually said I did well, and he never, ever says that (even if he wants to). So that feels great.

This weekend I get to hang out with some friends I haven’t seen in a while and continue to train in the sport I love.

Things are really coming together. They really are. My finances are looking up, too (that could easily change, let’s not jinx it).

Have you taken a step back today to appreciate yourself? Appreciate the work you’ve put in to get even this far in life? You should. You’re impressive. You’re talented. You fuckin’ got this.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Making My Own Schedule

Hi, everyone.

Have I written about this before? I think I have. It would be simple to go back and look but let’s just carry on, shall we?

Why am I asking you that? You don’t make my schedule.

See what I did there? (Corny, yeah.) I am having some issues. This morning I went into training again and received no mitt work, no instruction, and I was told to help another boxer out. I was supposed to fight June 26th. Coach says I’m not ready, but I’ve been running my sprints and doing everything on my own to make sure I am ready.

But he won’t train me. He won’t put in the time. But I’m putting in the time to come work with the other boxers and help coach and yada yada. And I love coaching, you lot know that, but I don’t like commitments broken. A week or two back, Coach told me we would put together a training schedule to get ready. He was at my house for Memorial Day. We didn’t get a schedule put together.

Frustrating.

So now what do I do? Oh, today is also filled with everything that I didn’t come up with. Not a single thing on my agenda is something I said, “Hey, let’s do this.” Am I bitching over nothing? Probably. But I can bitch here. See, that’s the power of having this outlet. I can come here and bitch to you lot. And if you don’t like it, you can shut down the WordPress app or open a new tab, but that’s what this place does for me. Allows a release.

My buddy gave me a poem yesterday. I think it’s a good thing to leave off with because the main reason for this blog today was to get this shit out of my head and put it down. Make it concrete. Stop thinking about it so much internally and push it out to you lot. Aren’t you feeling lucky today? But again I’m getting off track. Let’s read this poem my buddy gave me, yeah?

Like cairns on an unkempt trail
words point the way
to the summit of thought
the last though before silence
swallows the world in realization
that the symbols are stones
just lying around
waiting aeons to roll toward the sea
until we stack them
upon one another to say,
“This way! You’re on the right track.”
to someone we may never shake hands,
nor share our water with
because deep down we know
that they are the same as us
and feel safer when another self
leaves a cairn or a ladder of words
to let us know that they too chose
this path and found sure footing there.
Unknown Poet

My buddy got me that poem because that’s what this blog kinda is. And fuck it’s a good poem, isn’t it? I don’t even like poetry and I like that one.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Sluggish

Hi, everybody!

Still no great idea on a “theme” for this blog moving forward so again, you get to read me just word vomit this late morning.

Sluggish? Yeah, I’m sluggish today. Tired because I stayed up too late looking at screens (boxing fights on demand aren’t fair). I need to eat healthier. I’m supposed to box competitively in two weeks and I have 5 pounds to cut. Nothing major there. But I do need to eat healthier. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling sluggish?

Maybe I’m sluggish because I keep telling myself I’m sluggish. Ever thought about that? Maybe if I get off my ass right now and walk my dogs, the whole day will change. Energy will increase. I’ll be able to smile with both eyes open. Maybe. But that maybe is worth a shot. I’ll talk to you lot tomorrow.

Eh, I feel bad about the lack of effort here. How about a quote before I go?

Happiness releases you from self. It is suffering and pain and misery and depression that tie you to the self. Look how conscious you are of your tooth when you have a toothache. When you don’t have a toothache, you’re not even aware you have a tooth, or that you have a head, for that matter, when you don’t have a headache. But it’s so different when you have a splitting headache.

Awareness by Anthony de Mello

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Sneaking It In

Good evening, everybody!

Not often do I write to you lot this late. It’s past 10 PM where I’m at right now. Almost broke the streak, phew. Thankfully I have nothing better to do than think about tomorrow and not sleep for the next… three hours? That sounds about right.

Honestly it’s been a great day. Family and friends came by for a relaxing grill out. Good morning workout. Dogs relaxed. Neighbors friendly. I might be making NFTs and I don’t even know what they really are. I mean it was a pretty damn good day.

But I’ve been thinking… I don’t want to keep updating you lot on my day. I need a mission here. I need a purpose to this blog outside of myself. Yes, this helps me. Writing to you helps me, but that’s selfish. I don’t want it to be like that.

So what am I good at? Talking? Kinda. Coaching? I think so. Life advice? Who the hell wants that. Dog photos? Can’t do that, might be able to pin my identity then. Humor? I’m not that funny.

Till I figure out what to do next with this blog, you’ll keep reading what my professors used to call “word vomiting”. I’m not even thinking when I’m writing to you. Just typing. Little fingers going pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter – ok, sorry, that turned into a little game for me. Wanted to see how quickly I could type “pitter patter” over and over again till I messed up. Let’s try it again.

Pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patterp FUCK. That was fun, though.

Are you lost?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Hell of a Day

Hi, everybody.

I have to make this quick. Also, I can’t really look at the screen while I type. I’m actually in the middle of a meeting. This meeting is from 9 AM – 5 PM over the next two weeks, so I’ll give myself a break for a quick blog today. Don’t feel too bad about it.

Let’s talk about yesterday real quick. Hell of a day. Did I tell you lot that I got my female boxer matched up? I think I did yesterday. I might fight on the same card. Who really knows right now.

Also, my dogs busted their heads through my living room windows during a meeting with my VP of Sales at this company. Super awesome. Glass everywhere. Dogs were fine. I freaked out. Yelled. Felt guilt after my dogs looked scared. Apologized. Gave treats. Retreated.

Then I reached out with anger but my support system (Pops) noticed I was reaching out with frustration and stress. He let me go to the gym to get some boxing in while he came over and fixed up my patch job. He told me he’ll have the windows fixed my Saturday. The man is a miracle worker. I’d be lost without him, honestly – well, for the most part. At least with household chores.

I really do need to start paying more attention to this “Boot Camp” (orientation) for work. I’m glad I took the chance to write to you lot. Have a fantastic day. OH! And if you’re graduating soon, congratulations!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.