Understanding Yourself

Hi, everybody.

Do you have a difficult time understanding yourself? I do. Not all the time but, well, a lot of the time.

The funny thing? Most people I know think I’m one of the most confident people they know. The faces we can put on, right? You lot know the real me more than most in real life.

Are we made to understand ourselves? What’s to understand? Both good questions and both extremely difficult to answer. I mean, even when I think about things now, I wonder how I’ll ever “understand” myself or what that even means. But I came into writing this blog thinking it. Now, after the wonderful power of writing struck, I don’t think there is an understanding of ourselves. I mean, we kind of just are what we are, right? No need to understand it.

Again, what the hell did I just write?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Early Start

Hi, everybody.

Last night was some hell, I’ll tell you that much. Not only did my company pry and pry for end of month closes, they also kept a conversation going till about 11 PM at night trying to pull in any deal possible before September hit. Honestly, I wish I was writing this in October (end of September) because I could make an easy, easy Green Day joke right there.

So yeah, that was stressful. Especially since I haven’t brought in a dime all month–but that happens sometimes, I do believe I will have an outstanding month this month as I’ve built a really, really solid pipeline.

But the stress is still there. I don’t wake up early usually, and definitely not for work purposes, but today I did. Today I made sure to wake up early and start climbing the charts. So far? Yeah, no results. But patience, baby, patience. It also doesn’t help that I worked till midnight last night after some heavy, heavy sparring rounds.

But enough bitching. I’m working from home with my dogs by my side. I have an endless supply of coffee and I have a decent amount of groceries. My bills are paid for the upcoming month. There are a lot of positives–but as you can probably tell, work is weighing heavily on my mind recently.

It will all shake out, right? As long as the work is put in, right? I sure as hell hope so.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Exciting Interview

Hi, everybody.

I don’t know if I’ll get the job, I’m sure there are plenty of candidates much more qualified than me, but I’m excited. Why? Well, I just interviewed with a non-profit for a job that actually pays a decent amount (IN THE NON-PROFIT SPACE!). That’s exciting to me.

For four years I’ve sold for private companies, trying to please ownership. If I do take on this role at this foundation, I will be working to, yes, please ownership, but I’ll be driving at making the world a better place. Kinda cool, huh? Sales isn’t all bad. There’s a lot of good-hearted sales folks out there. You lot just don’t give them the chance.

I’ll keep you lot posted. I’m going to go hit the heavy bags and get some food. Not a bad Monday!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Quick Update: Fight Result

Hi, everybody.

The training and mental work paid off. I won via unanimous decision—never a contest.

Hard work validated. Thanks for tagging along. Time to “rest” (kidding, I’m writing this from the boxing gym right now).

Believe in what you’re doing.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Searching for Something New

Hi, everybody.

As usual, I’m midday and lost. However, I think I may have a slight sense of direction from an email I just received.

I’m being moved forward in an interview process for a non-profit. I highly doubt I get the position, but it’s nice to be looked at and considered for the position. But why? Why am I looking for a job when I just started a new job back in April?

Well, to be quite honest with you lot, I’m dying doing what I’m currently doing. I dread my late nights because I have to wake up and do my job all over again the next day. It’s not a good feeling–especially when all you want to do is quit your job but you have a mortgage to pay. It sucks, really. I don’t have any passion towards what I’m doing anymore. I used to love sales, now I’m… well, already burned out? No, I’m just not working for the right company. Not working towards the right goals.

So I’ve adjusted. I understand that the non-profits I apply for won’t be as much money as what I’m currently making, but doesn’t passion count for something? Doesn’t wanting to wake up to actually do your job count for much more than an extra 10-20 thousand a year? I think it does. Who knows, maybe it doesn’t, but right now… I need something different. Something with purpose. And I think I’m on the right track for that something new in my life.

It’s exciting. It’s scary. I’ll keep you posted.

I wish you the best. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Morning Thoughts

Hi, everybody!

Each and every day we have here is different. There’s times when everything feels like a replay, but really, every single day is different.

We tell ourselves “no” often. Why? We hate hearing no from others.

I would like to move out of my hometown.

When’s the moment I stop thinking about certain people? How can I get closer to that moment in time?

I constantly need to remind myself about gratitude. Typing out that last sentence reminded me this time.

So what the hell was this? Airport thoughts, really. Maybe I need to start bringing my phone in the shower and typing out shower thoughts. That would be… interesting.

Welp, I’m off to Texas. Flight boards in just a few minutes. I’m gonna miss my pups! And the boxing gym. But I’ll be back Thursday. That’s a short, short trip. I should be fine, right? I will be.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Texas Bound!

Hi, everybody!

Good news: I’m traveling again! I’m excited this time. I get to meet my new colleagues and get away from all of the mess here where I live. We just had a massive storm and there’s damage and branches everywhere. Can’t wait to get away from it and just act like it didn’t happen (probably should handle it better but heyyo I have a flight to catch in the morning, I need rest).

What’s important today? Management of my time. Calmness. Slowing my brain and heart down. I get anxious when I leave my home. I don’t sleep well elsewhere. It bothers me.

It was important that I worked out today. I am worried about not being able to box. Whenever I’m in a bad mood, boxing gets me out of it. It’s my release, my therapy – similar to writing. Also, will the streak be threatened while I’m away in Texas? WE WILL FIND OUT.

Anyway, I really do hope you’re enjoying your day. Have you taken the time to just sit and breathe? Take in who you are for the day? Do that if you haven’t. Always make sure to check in with yourself.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Control The Controllable

Hi, everybody.

I wanted to take this time to shoot you a quick reminder that you can only control what you can control. Everything else? Don’t stress on it.

I had to tell myself this multiple times this week as I work from home and continuously have internet issues that could in end cost me my job. However, it’s out of my control. Instead of freaking out, I am finding solutions. Oh, and I got the two free months of internet out of complaining, HA!

But seriously, don’t stress yourself with things outside of you. It’s not worth it. It’s not healthy. Treat yourself right.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Pre-Nap Quick Thoughts

Hi, everybody.

Yes, I’m a grown ass man that takes naps in the middle of the day. I work from home, alright? Little human interaction, in front of the computer all day–it actually does get tiring. Sometimes it’s nice to shut the eyes for a bit to get a recharge.

But I always take thoughts to bed with me. I don’t know about you lot but I feel like that’s pretty normal. So… what are my thoughts today?

  • I’m worried I’m not driving enough results at work
  • I’m tired (duh)
  • I love my dogs so very much and thank them every day for being my work from home buddies
  • I really want a vacation
  • I’m excited to spar tonight
  • I’m excited to nap right now
  • Do I ever write anything of importance?

That last one digs at me sometimes. I’ve been writing on this blog for… 74 or 75 days straight now. Is it too much? Are you lot tired of reading about my routine, what I’m doing, how I’m feeling, etc.? Do I need to slow it down? Should I shift my focus to larger blog posts?

I DON’T KNOW. This is part of my routine and I very much enjoy doing it. Keeps my head on straight. But I don’t want you lot reading nonsense every day. I appreciate you and want to make sure that when you do click into one of my blogs, you enjoy it. So if you have any ideas, tips, whatever it may be, feel free to comment below.

NAP TIME!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Hitting My Stride

Hi, everyone!

THREE meetings booked this week. Let me put that into perspective: I booked one meeting over my first month.

It feels good. My boss, the VP of Sales, etc., are starting to throw some love at me. I needed that. I felt I wasn’t performing but as almost anything with life: it takes time.

I’m also doing really well in terms of boxing. I sparred yesterday and barely got touched. Landed quite a few clean jabs against some tough sparring partners. My coach actually said I did well, and he never, ever says that (even if he wants to). So that feels great.

This weekend I get to hang out with some friends I haven’t seen in a while and continue to train in the sport I love.

Things are really coming together. They really are. My finances are looking up, too (that could easily change, let’s not jinx it).

Have you taken a step back today to appreciate yourself? Appreciate the work you’ve put in to get even this far in life? You should. You’re impressive. You’re talented. You fuckin’ got this.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.