Waiting at Vet

Hi, everybody.

Title is pretty self-explanatory. I’m at the vet. Both dogs getting juiced up with their yearly shots so I decided to write to you lot. Hopefully they’re drowsy the rest of the day, right? I could use a break from their energy.

So what’s on the agenda today? BOXING! And fixing up a boxing club that’s been in the community for 43 years. It’s a tremendous place run by one of the best men you could possibly meet. He’s run this club for FORTY THREE years. And it’s all been free for inner city kids to come box and compete out of there. You hear that? 43 years of service to community. All to help, not for money. Pretty damn cool.

Combat sports are cool. The community is even cooler. You would think we’re all jerks who want to beat everyone up, but it’s quite the opposite. Now put us in a ring with someone and yeah, we want to beat that person up. But I’ve never seen a more helpful and inclusive community than the boxing community here where I live.

I’m excited to go down there and paint some more, bullshit with the coaches, and give my boxers hell for messing up on the trim.

Today’s another busy day, but another good busy day. I’m excited for today. I hope you are, too. If you aren’t, think about volunteering some of your time. It’s never a wasteful act.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Breaking Exhaustion

Hi, everybody.

Good morning. I’m still trying to wake up and it’s 10:30 AM already. I’m through one cup of cold brew but nothing seems to be picking my energy levels up.

Food? Well, I had some yogurt and some fruit. I think I’ve nourished my body plenty so far today.

Really it comes down to getting myself to go to bed at a decent time. Even with my mental health somewhat in control nowadays, I still have an issue falling asleep any time prior to 2 AM. I’d really love that to change. Do any of my readers have any advice?

I don’t know why I stay up so late. Am I dreading the next day? Is my anxiety beating me up? Is my depression crippling me? Am I just not tired? I must be tired. I work all day, I box at night, coach at night, and talk with one of my buddies for a good portion of the night, too. It’s not like I’m doing nothing. I’m very busy, so my exhaustion comes from that. But it could be helped by going to sleep at a decent fuckin’ time. I need to figure this out at some point in my life. Waking up early in the morning to work out after a solid night of sleep sounds lovely.

I’m going to try to sleep a bit earlier tonight. I’m going to shoot for 1 AM. That’s an hour difference, an hour of improvement, and an hour to change.

This is one of the few times I’ve written and not really came up with a solution. So, my friends, please feel free to comment with what helps you wind down at night. We can all help each other, ya know?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Hell of a Day

Hi, everybody.

I have to make this quick. Also, I can’t really look at the screen while I type. I’m actually in the middle of a meeting. This meeting is from 9 AM – 5 PM over the next two weeks, so I’ll give myself a break for a quick blog today. Don’t feel too bad about it.

Let’s talk about yesterday real quick. Hell of a day. Did I tell you lot that I got my female boxer matched up? I think I did yesterday. I might fight on the same card. Who really knows right now.

Also, my dogs busted their heads through my living room windows during a meeting with my VP of Sales at this company. Super awesome. Glass everywhere. Dogs were fine. I freaked out. Yelled. Felt guilt after my dogs looked scared. Apologized. Gave treats. Retreated.

Then I reached out with anger but my support system (Pops) noticed I was reaching out with frustration and stress. He let me go to the gym to get some boxing in while he came over and fixed up my patch job. He told me he’ll have the windows fixed my Saturday. The man is a miracle worker. I’d be lost without him, honestly – well, for the most part. At least with household chores.

I really do need to start paying more attention to this “Boot Camp” (orientation) for work. I’m glad I took the chance to write to you lot. Have a fantastic day. OH! And if you’re graduating soon, congratulations!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Pushing On

Hi, everybody!

Hope your morning is off to a great start. Mine is, now I await my 9 AM “Boot Camp” for my new job. Not pumped. It’s very repetitive.

I did have a slight meltdown yesterday. I had some issues with my mental health provider and their front desk. No, I wasn’t being a Karen, I promise. But I wasn’t happy. I almost fired my Psych & Therapist, but luckily they somewhat talked me out of it.

But this goes to show you that no matter how great you’re feeling, that lil’ bastard in the shape of depression, anxiety, or both can appear any time they feel it’s necessary.

Yes, I know we do have control. But I don’t believe we do all the time.

I fought through. Talked to the right people in my support system. Made sure to take care of myself through the sport of Boxing. Hell, I even got headshots done in the evening.

I pushed on, through, whatever you want to call it. I was aware and not at ease — now I’m aware and at ease. It’s a nice feeling. But more growth is necessary. And inevitable.

Push on, people.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Work “Boot Camp”

Hi, everybody!

That exclamation mark is deceiving. I’m actually not excited whatsoever. It’s CULTURE time at the new company, meaning I have a two-week orientation starting today. And I’m not excited. I’ll probably tell you how unexcited I am about 50 times throughout this blog, if it lasts that long.

OK, but really, I’m not excited AT ALL. But I do like this company quite a bit, so I guess I’ll suck it up and push forward. Sometimes we have to do shitty shit in life to get to where we want to go. We all need to accept that. Your Instagram feed isn’t realistic, so don’t think that’s what life is supposed to be like. Life still comes with many ups and downs, lulls, and voids. Usually more of the latter than the former for most of us.

But stick in there. If you are about to embark on a two-week mission of misery, identify it. Then find a way to dominate it.

OPE! First “meeting” starts in five minutes. Gotta go.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Overslept (For A Reason)

Hi, everyone!

Today I slept till 8:30 AM CT. Why? Because I’m fucking exhausted, that’s why. Did I push it a bit with work and my 9 AM meeting? Kind of, but karma was on my side. That meeting was pushed back to 10 AM.

Why did I oversleep? I mentioned it: Exhaustion. But I’ve spoken about this before: It’s a good exhaustion. It comes from hard work through my passion, which if you don’t know by now is boxing. Multi-mile runs, plenty of bag rounds, sparring, and sprinkle in some coaching…. boy, does it tire you out. I have no clue how my head coach has done it for so many years, but one day I hope to be like him.

As always, I don’t have too much to type today. It’s a relatively relaxed day for me. Work till about 4 PM, hit the gym for an hour, and sneak a mile run in sometime during the day. Then it’s date night! (I still need to figure out how to get out of this “relationship” as my buddy calls it. I’ve been clear about it NOT being a relationship with the woman, but I don’t think that message firmly sits in her head. I gotta figure this out.)

OK! What a weird blog.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

What Day is Today?

Hi, everybody.

I feel like I’m still waking up. Hold up – let me take a sip of my coffee before I begin this bloggerooski.

OK, that was really good. Very good coffee. Dunkin’ Donuts really does not get the credit they deserve. Starbucks? Pfft. Scooters? Pfft. I do like Peet’s, though. A lot.

OK, what the hell are we talking about today? I guess the title leads me to how jumbled my mind is this morning. Also, my body is sore. As I’ve mentioned before, whenever I’m stressed it’s always beneficial for me to write. Is it beneficial for you to read what I write? Well, when you look at this blog and this blog alone, no. BUT maybe check out some of my past stuff. There’s quite a bit to choose from.

But really, what day is it?
Don’t worry. I know it is Tuesday.
Feels like a Wednesday. What does that even mean?

Told ya today the mind is jumbled. I think I just tried writing a haiku and failed on every level. Like, it’s not even close. I forget what makes up a haiku. It’s the structure of the poem, syllables, words, etc. if I remember correctly, but I’m not Googling it till after I publish this.

I swear I’m in a great mood today. Let’s just say my writing could use a little work. I need some ideas! I’m tired of talking about myself each and every time. If you have any ideas on where I could take this blog next, please let me know in the comments.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

EDIT: OK, I googled it:
hai·ku
1. Japanese poem of seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five, traditionally evoking images of the natural world.
– A poem in English written in the form of a haiku.

Yep, I got the lines of three thing right. That’s about it.

Teamwork

Hi, everybody!

Four days in a row. No big deal.

I’m very happy today. The boxing team is really coming together. More and more of my actual boxers are coming in for multiple trainings a week and I’m loving it. We are now up to… nine boxers! That’s nine people we are getting ready to fight in the Summer months. It’s exciting. Really exciting. Also, they’ve done a tremendous job embracing the team atmosphere in such an individual sport. People think boxing is all about the boxer, but it is really a team sport. You don’t get better without solid teammates and coaches in training.

I’ve also experienced great teamwork in my first week at the new job. My boss commended me for helping the team out with my English degree (editing our email cadences and making them… much, much better). I reached out to the COO and started a conversation with him. He’s happy to have me on his team.

I just really love the idea of team. It’s so very important in life to surround yourself with a team. A team could be your support group. A team could be as simple as your family. As simple as a couple of your friends. But having a team pushes you to be better. Pushes you to check in on yourself. Pushes you to care for others, which in turn helps you care for yourself.

Become part of a team. You won’t regret it.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

A Weirder Than Normal April Fools’ Day

Hi, everybody.

This post isn’t necessarily about April Fools’ Day. I mean, as you lot know, I really have no clue what the fuck I’m going to write about 99% of the time on here. So let’s get into it.

This morning started with a… groggy me. I stayed up too late last night. Amazon purchases, putting together a desk, trying to get my office to not look like a 13-year Call of Duty player’s game room. I spent quite a bit of time starting off into space last night, just thinking. No bad thoughts–it was quite nice.

BUT let’s get into the funny thing this morning. As I mentioned, I woke up groggy, not all there. I called my friend after he messaged “I have some bad news.”

“—–, what’s up? What’s going on?”

“—–, the wife and I were talking last night and… well, I don’t think we’re spending enough time together so I’m getting rid of my gaming computer.”

Instantly I felt terrible. I’ve pulled him away from his wife multiple times to play “vidjie” games. To be quite clear, it is HIS choice and HIS fault he plays as much as he does (yeah, bro, I know you’re reading this). I will not let that man pass the buck. But fuck, did he get me good this morning. Heart dropped. Thought his marriage was over. Luckily it’s April 1 and, well, it was all a joke. Thank God. I love those two together. Even if the wife has a love/hate for me.

Another fun thing happened this morning. My boss sent out a company-wide email about my resignation. I told him he should of used this day to his advantage and tell the company I’m pursuing my dream of becoming a private dancer in a small town. Sadly he chose not to lose his job and just mentioned where I’m actually heading after I leave this company. I’ve received some very nice messages from my colleagues. It’s been really, really nice to read.

An update on how I’m doing trying to fool people today? Absolutely fucking terrible. I can’t come up with anything believable. I tried a broken wrist and a few other things I’m not proud to mention. I can’t decide if a subtle fool is more usable than a… scary fools, like me being accidentally impaled by my low fence in the backyard. I don’t know. I hope I figure out something.

Well, thank you for reading my post about absolutely nothing. I hope you lot have some fun today. Oh, remind me to get more sleep, OK? Thank you.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Tough Conversations

Hi, everybody!

I’m a bit frantic today. I have a couple tough conversations coming up and although I feel comfortable going into them, the anxiousness is still alive and well in me.

What conversations, you ask?

  • One of my boxers doesn’t have the mentals to compete. She honestly doesn’t like punching people in the face, but she won’t admit to it. I’ll try one more sparring session with her and if nothing changes, it’s in her best interest to get competition out of her mind. Why? Well, her hypothetical opponent wouldn’t be afraid to punch her. That’s a problem for her. The problem for me? Keeping her motivated to keep coming in and getting the work in because the work she puts in is almost essential for her mentals to balance out.
  • I have to put in my two weeks at a company I’ve been at for three years. Three years. That’s pretty much two more years than I’ve put in anywhere else in my … 15 or so odd years of employment. It’ll be weird, new, but I’m very excited for it. I get to start my new job on April 19th and I can’t even begin to tell you how pumped I am for a new challenge.

But tough conversations are always good conversations. You learn from them. You change from them. You grow from them. Remember, fear is something we construct in our own minds. It’s not fucking real. Push it away. Go for those tough conversation so you continue to learn, change, and grow. It’s worth it, I promise.

Don’t be one of those people who continuously mentions the weather. No one likes conversing with that person.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.