What, that doesn't explain it enough?
Hi, everybody!
Today is a special day. The man himself, Pops, turned ## today!
We golfed this morning. Relaxing. Had a couple of arguments but we’re past those already.
If you have family, keep them close, even if you tend to get on each other’s nerves every so often. Family is important. You’re important.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Oh also, Pops, if you’re reading this—I love you and appreciate you. Thank you for being there for me every second of my life. – Bud
Hi, everybody!
There’s something about a stormy, rainy day after a week filled with 90 degree temps. It’s relaxing. It makes you sleepy. For me, it relieves stress. How? Well, I don’t feel like I really need to accomplish much when the weather isn’t cooperating. I absolutely love my mindset there.
A storm is unpredictable, just like mental health. It comes and goes, sometimes quiet, sometimes with a big boom. But it fades. The storm always fades and we’re back to the light. Same could be said about mental health IF we decide to look at it this way. That’s on us.
We’re all temperamental. At least a little bit. Whether we like it or not. Just like the weather. Maybe we could learn a thing or two from Mother Nature, eh?
Hi, everybody.
I’m super busy today so how about I leave you with some impactful quotes today? OK!
And see that you keep a cheerful demeanor, and retain your independence of outside help and the peace which others can give. Your duty is to stand straight – not held straight.
Marcus Aurelius
As soon as you look at the world through an ideology you are finished. No reality fits an ideology. Life is beyond that.
Anthony de Mello
When you have reconciled internally, peace and love become possible. When you embody peace and love, you can change a difficult situation more easily.
Thich Nhat Hanh
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody.
I’m a freak about this streak now. I already posted today (check it out – really good quotes) but it didn’t give me the streak reward. So here I am.
I made today about me. I woke up, walked the dogs before it got too warm, and headed to the gym. Got in a few solid bag rounds and now I’m out by the pool. I was reading but this blog distracted me. You lot distracted me. I can blame you, right?
I do need to get back to reading.
But today is my day. I’ll do what I want. I plan to make NFTs later (yeah, I know, weird), followed by volleyball and USA soccer.
Today will be a good day. Nothing will stop that.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
If you remove your judgement of anything that seems painful, you yourself stand quite immune to pain. ‘What self?’ Reason. ‘But I am not just reason.’ Granted. So let your reason cause itself no pain, and if some other part of you is in trouble, it can form its own judgment for itself.
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
My soul, will you ever be good, simple, individual, bare, brighter than the body that covers you? Will you ever be complete and free of need, missing nothing, desiring nothing live or lifeless for the enjoyment of pleasure?
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
We were born for cooperation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of upper and lower teeth. So to work in opposition to one another is against nature: and anger or rejection is opposition.
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Life for each of us is a mere moment, and this life of yours is nearly over, while you still show yourself no honor, but you let your own welfare depend on other people’s souls.
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Me
Hi, everybody.
Here I am, again, struggling to find time. Struggling to achieve anything outside of what others want from me. This weekend I have a surprise 30th birthday party, training, mandatory landscaping work, a date, and somehow I need to get my week ready for work next week.
It’s becoming a bit too much. I’m drowning. I’m waking up disappointed, defeated. I go to bed later because I don’t want the responsibilities of the next day to fall on me.
Is this being an adult? Having a calendar and literally just making sure I’m going to everything I’ve lent a commitment to (purposefully or forced)? It can’t be. I want to travel. I want to get out and do more things for myself. I want to be selfish right now before this becomes a problem and drops me back to where I was.
Sadly, I don’t know how to do that. Telling people “no” isn’t my thing. Also, I use a lot of my time to help others, whether it’s resumes or boxing, so without me around, where do they go?
Anyway, sorry for bitching. I’m struggling again. This upcoming weekend isn’t exciting for me, it’s just more work.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody.
You’ve heard me ask it a few times this week: What’s next?
I’ve found my routine. I enjoy my routine. I mention my routine quite a bit to you lot. Just now I mentioned it three times. However, I need more spice in my life. God, I felt lame typing that. Still feel lame. Let’s move on.
What do I mean by spice? Shit, I don’t really know. I would love to travel to the east coast to see my best friend but that costs a bit of money and I would need to find dog sitters. Outside of that, I’d love to umm… I really don’t know. My fight was called off due to my coach… not really coaching me. Kind of a bummer but I’ll keep training and stay ready. I’m enjoying how I feel outside of the aches and pains that come with it nowadays being 30 and all.
I’m getting distracted. So what’s next? I’d love some damn ideas. If you have some, shoot them over. I still coach. I obviously still blog. I still play video games. I still walk my dogs. I mean, my days are relatively full, but they’re missing something.
Maybe it’s not about what’s next and it’s more about what am I missing? Or am I missing anything at all? Just awareness? Am I lacking gratitude?
Writing is fucking weird and powerful. I have no conclusion here at the end of this blog but my initial question transferred me to a new question. Time to explore.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Good evening, everybody!
Not often do I write to you lot this late. It’s past 10 PM where I’m at right now. Almost broke the streak, phew. Thankfully I have nothing better to do than think about tomorrow and not sleep for the next… three hours? That sounds about right.
Honestly it’s been a great day. Family and friends came by for a relaxing grill out. Good morning workout. Dogs relaxed. Neighbors friendly. I might be making NFTs and I don’t even know what they really are. I mean it was a pretty damn good day.
But I’ve been thinking… I don’t want to keep updating you lot on my day. I need a mission here. I need a purpose to this blog outside of myself. Yes, this helps me. Writing to you helps me, but that’s selfish. I don’t want it to be like that.
So what am I good at? Talking? Kinda. Coaching? I think so. Life advice? Who the hell wants that. Dog photos? Can’t do that, might be able to pin my identity then. Humor? I’m not that funny.
Till I figure out what to do next with this blog, you’ll keep reading what my professors used to call “word vomiting”. I’m not even thinking when I’m writing to you. Just typing. Little fingers going pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter – ok, sorry, that turned into a little game for me. Wanted to see how quickly I could type “pitter patter” over and over again till I messed up. Let’s try it again.
Pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patterp FUCK. That was fun, though.
Are you lost?
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody!
It’s not often I use alliteration but today I’m daring. Scared?
Kidding. I’m actually about to lie down for a nap. Figured I’d write to you lot first before I doze off into a million dreams about who knows what.
Why is today sweet? Why are Sundays considered special? You have the obvious religious foundations, but outside of that, society’s really made Sundays extremely important. It’s the day you have to recharge. It’s the day you have to finish your final chore. It’s the day you have before your work week starts all over again. It’s the day you come back from vacation. It’s the day you do community service. It’s the day you go to a kid’s birthday party. It’s the day you…
You do a lot on Sundays. We consider, at least I think we consider Sundays to be a day of relaxation when often they aren’t. Do we take enough time for ourselves, truly? Do we? I know I don’t. I don’t for myself. Look, I’m writing to you lot right now. Yeah, I’ve mentioned this helps me, but fuck I’m tired. I should be napping.
OK, we’re getting away from the point. As always, there really isn’t much of a point here, but this is a good reminder to actually reset yourself. Actually recharge. Take a breath. Sundays can be filled with pressure. You have the power to handle that pressure or better yet, not even feel it.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody!
Yesterday was fantastic. The idea to have a “treat yo’self” dinner with a couple close friends for my birthday celebration was 100% the correct decision. Queen cut prime rib cooked a perfect medium rare, classic mashed potatoes, unique but delicious green beans, and a salad bar. I mean, I couldn’t ask for much else. Oh, also a nice bottle of Beaujolais, which happens to be my favorite red wine.
It really was perfect. We followed it up with a couple drinks at a bar right next door. The bartender there was… well, she was probably five shots deep by the time we entered the bar. It was an experience, that’s for sure.
Today is my last day in my twenties. Again, surreal. I’ve mentioned that plenty. But I’m excited for today. Why? It’s another day I’m here. Sounds corny but I’m fucking pumped I can say that nowadays. Look at this blog when it first started. I hated myself.
Now I’m starting to love myself again. And I’m heading into a whole new decade of learning, growth, etc., and I couldn’t be more excited about it.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
The Two Sides of Me 