Early Start

Hi, everybody.

Last night was some hell, I’ll tell you that much. Not only did my company pry and pry for end of month closes, they also kept a conversation going till about 11 PM at night trying to pull in any deal possible before September hit. Honestly, I wish I was writing this in October (end of September) because I could make an easy, easy Green Day joke right there.

So yeah, that was stressful. Especially since I haven’t brought in a dime all month–but that happens sometimes, I do believe I will have an outstanding month this month as I’ve built a really, really solid pipeline.

But the stress is still there. I don’t wake up early usually, and definitely not for work purposes, but today I did. Today I made sure to wake up early and start climbing the charts. So far? Yeah, no results. But patience, baby, patience. It also doesn’t help that I worked till midnight last night after some heavy, heavy sparring rounds.

But enough bitching. I’m working from home with my dogs by my side. I have an endless supply of coffee and I have a decent amount of groceries. My bills are paid for the upcoming month. There are a lot of positives–but as you can probably tell, work is weighing heavily on my mind recently.

It will all shake out, right? As long as the work is put in, right? I sure as hell hope so.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Dead End

Hi, everybody.

Another day, eh? It’s gloomy out today. Clouds everywhere, no sunlight available. Meh.

Usually I’m pumped about days like this because, well, I do like to nap. Nothing better than a nap on a stormy day. But today I don’t want to nap. Why? Because I feel like I’m heading in a direction that leads to a dead end (hence the title).

I can’t seem to find that “purpose” in my life with my current occupation and I believe I will struggle with this till I find a solution. Is the solution a new job? Most likely. Do I need to make sure I choose wisely moving forward? Yes.

But some of that stuff is out of my control. I don’t know when the right opportunity will present itself, all I know is that I’m quite miserable with what I’m doing nowadays. My drive for sales has really dropped off, maybe due to management, maybe due to me, maybe a mix of both. I need a solution. Someone sell me a solution, please.

But there are positives when I look a bit deeper. A former drug addict like myself has now held a “big boy” job for 4 years now, going on 5. Yes, I’ve switched companies twice, but that’s been on my terms. No termination! (Knock on wood).

I’ve also grown significantly both personally and professionally. I understand a lot more of what makes this world work, as least here in the US. I’ve had my thought of “everyone is just about money” validated through my 4-5 years of sales work. Most people really are just about money. It sucks. I very much dislike money because, well, it stresses me the hell out.

I think we are moving in the right direction, but I tend to stay on the weary side. What’s that saying? Hope for the best, expect the worst. That’s pretty much been my life, so I think I can continue on that path and stay positive. I understand and I am aware of what my capabilities are, what I bring to the table, and how I can impact this world. Now I just need to make things happen.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Exciting Interview

Hi, everybody.

I don’t know if I’ll get the job, I’m sure there are plenty of candidates much more qualified than me, but I’m excited. Why? Well, I just interviewed with a non-profit for a job that actually pays a decent amount (IN THE NON-PROFIT SPACE!). That’s exciting to me.

For four years I’ve sold for private companies, trying to please ownership. If I do take on this role at this foundation, I will be working to, yes, please ownership, but I’ll be driving at making the world a better place. Kinda cool, huh? Sales isn’t all bad. There’s a lot of good-hearted sales folks out there. You lot just don’t give them the chance.

I’ll keep you lot posted. I’m going to go hit the heavy bags and get some food. Not a bad Monday!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Endless Contemplation

Hi, everybody.

It’s a chill day. Started it off with some coffee and sparring–now it’s time to sit in my sweatpants and relax. Well, until a birthday dinner later tonight, but that will be quick. Then right back to sweatpants and relaxing!

OK, “Endless Contemplation”, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of days. It’s funny because it’s thinking about thinking… if you think about it. OK, sorry, I’m done.

But I have been thinking a lot. Like more than usual. After my last fight, I don’t quite know the direction I should take. My coach is pushing me out even further from a pro debut and I don’t have too much time. I mean, I’m 30. I just want to take a couple pro fights for fun. I’m not looking to make a career out of it. Let me fight.

So yeah, I’m thinking about that. I’ve also gotten back into the trenches of thinking I’m not in the right location. I hate when I get like this, honestly. Do I really think moving would change things for me? It has in the past, but I always end up right back here. So what should I do? Stop thinking about moving.

Oh, and I can’t stop thinking about work. How I can be better. What I’m doing wrong. Do I even want to keep doing what I’m doing.

Endless thoughts. Endless contemplation.

But I look down at my dog (the younger one) and I realize sometimes it just doesn’t matter. Why don’t I let this pass through me and enjoy my time right here, right now? I could stop writing and start cuddling with this doggo.

And guess what. That’s where this blog ends. Right when the issue is resolved (for now).

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Cheated!

Hi, everybody.

So this morning I sweat through my polo. Why? Well, I had to give a product demonstration to the whole company. And guess what? It was in front of 200 people and I was up against four tenured sales representatives for the company.

I came in second. Losing by two votes.

BUT THERE’S A CATCH.

The winner pre-recorded their demonstration! I went live and direct with mine. There has to be some bonus points for going live, right? I think so. Don’t you? DON’T YOU?

I had fun doing it. It honestly benefited me because now I know if I can impress 200 people within my company who designed our software, I can most likely impress your average prospect.

I do want to circle back to the first part of this blog. Sweating through my shirt. Man, it felt good to be nervous again. There’s something about it that just makes you feel alive (although sometimes you can be so nervous you wish you were miraculously dead). I am glad I took on this challenge. And look! It prevented another “quote day” (don’t worry, I have some absolute bangers for you tomorrow from this book I’m reading).

As for what else is going on in my day? Not much besides… PREMIER LEAGUE STARTS BACK UP, BABY! COYG!

It’s an exciting day, but I must remember to challenge myself when I get content like this. Yes, it’s a good day right now, but will it be in a couple of hours? That’s not for me to worry about right now–let’s get that straight–but I must make sure to remember these words when those couple hours pass.

Again, thank you so much for reading my babbling. You lot are something else. Always pouring in tremendous support to a stranger like me–it’s greatly appreciated.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Searching for Something New

Hi, everybody.

As usual, I’m midday and lost. However, I think I may have a slight sense of direction from an email I just received.

I’m being moved forward in an interview process for a non-profit. I highly doubt I get the position, but it’s nice to be looked at and considered for the position. But why? Why am I looking for a job when I just started a new job back in April?

Well, to be quite honest with you lot, I’m dying doing what I’m currently doing. I dread my late nights because I have to wake up and do my job all over again the next day. It’s not a good feeling–especially when all you want to do is quit your job but you have a mortgage to pay. It sucks, really. I don’t have any passion towards what I’m doing anymore. I used to love sales, now I’m… well, already burned out? No, I’m just not working for the right company. Not working towards the right goals.

So I’ve adjusted. I understand that the non-profits I apply for won’t be as much money as what I’m currently making, but doesn’t passion count for something? Doesn’t wanting to wake up to actually do your job count for much more than an extra 10-20 thousand a year? I think it does. Who knows, maybe it doesn’t, but right now… I need something different. Something with purpose. And I think I’m on the right track for that something new in my life.

It’s exciting. It’s scary. I’ll keep you posted.

I wish you the best. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Venting Required

Hi, everybody.

I’m sorry. I need to vent.

I’ve had one fucking hell of a day at work. Three proposals, three no’s. Shit.

The worst part of it all? I have no fucking clue where I went wrong. I’ve been diligent in my research, curious with my questions, and mapped solutions to all pain points, yet I’m walking away with nothing. Oh, and my boss witnessed it all. That part sucks, too.

I wasn’t going to write today, but already it’s made me calm down a bit. I know this blog post isn’t probably what you wanted to read when you clicked in but hey, maybe I’ll write something influential next time.

I guess when I think about it, I don’t think I did do anything wrong or incorrect. If anything, these proposals were out of my control after a certain point, whether it was cost or timing. I need to remind myself that I am good at my job and I do drive results. Also, my career doesn’t define me. I’d love to move out of sales but I don’t know where I would go. That’s the main problem. That’s where I really need to figure something out.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

One Thing I Couldn’t Do

Hi, everybody!

Title sounds negative, doesn’t it? It isn’t, at least I don’t think it is. You may think differently. Actually you probably do (and that’s OK).

So what’s the one thing I couldn’t do?

Working in the office five days a week again. As I’ve mentioned over the past couple days, I’m in Texas meeting my new colleagues for the first time, also here for a quarterly business review. Anyway, what I’m driving at is the TIME WASTE of an office. There are benefits, don’t get me wrong. Being able to link up with my colleagues about best practices right away rather than hoping they’re on our messenger app is super awesome. However, I’ve been finishing my days around 2 PM. And I’m performing well. But once 2 PM hits, I’m sitting here for three more hours because I want to make sure management knows I’m a hard worker.

Weird, right? It’s insane to me how this pandemic shifted the way we work, how efficient we are on our own, and how little some industries need office space anymore. Shit, I rebooked my flight for an earlier date because I don’t see the use of me staying here and working–I can get much more done at my own house. And my boss knows that. We all know this here, but we’re holding on for dear life to keep the office as “something that still makes sense”.

Listen, it does make sense for some people, hell, maybe even most people. I don’t know. For me however, no. So what’s that one thing I couldn’t do? Work in an office five days a week for 40 hours or so. Nope. Not for me anymore. Couldn’t do it. Hard stop.

As always, I hope things are going super duper awesome for you today. If they aren’t, notice that and do what you can to get out of that funk. Or sit in it. Just be aware of it, that’s the most important part.

Cheers to working from home, people! Without working from home, this blog may not even exist. Actually… it wouldn’t.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Blogging During Meetings

Hi, everybody.

As you know if you’ve read my recent posts, I’m currently at a Quarterly Business Review for the company I work for. First time meeting my new colleagues! Everyone has been great so far.

To be honest, I’m extremely bored listening to everyone say the same thing during their presentations, so I decided to write to you. I have to type quietly so I don’t get in trouble.

I’m enjoying the conversations we’re having in this room. It’s collaborative and helpful–much different from my last company. I was scared leaving my last company, moving to something new and more challenging, but now I’m happy I took a bet on myself. When’s the last time you bet on yourself? Do it more often–it’s worth it.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

UPDATE: I did not get caught typing out this blog. Nice.

Pre-Nap Quick Thoughts

Hi, everybody.

Yes, I’m a grown ass man that takes naps in the middle of the day. I work from home, alright? Little human interaction, in front of the computer all day–it actually does get tiring. Sometimes it’s nice to shut the eyes for a bit to get a recharge.

But I always take thoughts to bed with me. I don’t know about you lot but I feel like that’s pretty normal. So… what are my thoughts today?

  • I’m worried I’m not driving enough results at work
  • I’m tired (duh)
  • I love my dogs so very much and thank them every day for being my work from home buddies
  • I really want a vacation
  • I’m excited to spar tonight
  • I’m excited to nap right now
  • Do I ever write anything of importance?

That last one digs at me sometimes. I’ve been writing on this blog for… 74 or 75 days straight now. Is it too much? Are you lot tired of reading about my routine, what I’m doing, how I’m feeling, etc.? Do I need to slow it down? Should I shift my focus to larger blog posts?

I DON’T KNOW. This is part of my routine and I very much enjoy doing it. Keeps my head on straight. But I don’t want you lot reading nonsense every day. I appreciate you and want to make sure that when you do click into one of my blogs, you enjoy it. So if you have any ideas, tips, whatever it may be, feel free to comment below.

NAP TIME!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.