Blogging During Meetings

Hi, everybody.

As you know if you’ve read my recent posts, I’m currently at a Quarterly Business Review for the company I work for. First time meeting my new colleagues! Everyone has been great so far.

To be honest, I’m extremely bored listening to everyone say the same thing during their presentations, so I decided to write to you. I have to type quietly so I don’t get in trouble.

I’m enjoying the conversations we’re having in this room. It’s collaborative and helpful–much different from my last company. I was scared leaving my last company, moving to something new and more challenging, but now I’m happy I took a bet on myself. When’s the last time you bet on yourself? Do it more often–it’s worth it.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

UPDATE: I did not get caught typing out this blog. Nice.

Pre-Nap Quick Thoughts

Hi, everybody.

Yes, I’m a grown ass man that takes naps in the middle of the day. I work from home, alright? Little human interaction, in front of the computer all day–it actually does get tiring. Sometimes it’s nice to shut the eyes for a bit to get a recharge.

But I always take thoughts to bed with me. I don’t know about you lot but I feel like that’s pretty normal. So… what are my thoughts today?

  • I’m worried I’m not driving enough results at work
  • I’m tired (duh)
  • I love my dogs so very much and thank them every day for being my work from home buddies
  • I really want a vacation
  • I’m excited to spar tonight
  • I’m excited to nap right now
  • Do I ever write anything of importance?

That last one digs at me sometimes. I’ve been writing on this blog for… 74 or 75 days straight now. Is it too much? Are you lot tired of reading about my routine, what I’m doing, how I’m feeling, etc.? Do I need to slow it down? Should I shift my focus to larger blog posts?

I DON’T KNOW. This is part of my routine and I very much enjoy doing it. Keeps my head on straight. But I don’t want you lot reading nonsense every day. I appreciate you and want to make sure that when you do click into one of my blogs, you enjoy it. So if you have any ideas, tips, whatever it may be, feel free to comment below.

NAP TIME!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

The Fun of Paying Bills

Hi, everybody!

Today is pay day! What’s that mean? Everything I earn gets dumped into 5+ bills! Woot woot!

I’m lucky and grateful to be able to cover my bills. Please don’t take this as me bitching. I understand many are not in the situation I am in and many are worse off. I’m here to chat if you need to chat.

However, something about getting paid and throwing it all into bills hurts the soul a bit. Granted, I am better off this paycheck than I was the past couple of months, so I’ve done a good job readjusting my budget and laying low on stupid purchases. Also, my debt is depleting and my investment portfolio is increasing. I feel good about that.

But I would like to take a trip. I really would. BUT! Have no fear, work is here to save me on that front. They’re bringing me down to Dallas next month (WILL I BREAK THE (now 72) DAY STREAK? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT).

But now it’s time to forget about the bills paid and understand my happiness, my life, everything, isn’t run by money or how much I’m making this week or next week. My happiness, my life, everything, it’s all run by me. It’s up to me being aware of each and every situation I’m in. Aware of the feelings I have when paying bills and feeling slightly defeated. Understanding and being aware of the constant ups and downs of life. Awareness to act, not react – that’s a huge one.

I’m grateful I can pay my bills. I’m grateful for so, so much. I’m grateful I get to write to you lot daily.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

The Importance of Routine (For Me)

Hi, everybody.

I write about routine quite often, but it’s really important to me. So here I go again, writing about it. Do I routinely write about routine?

My routine does vary. I promise you. I don’t do the same exact shit every single day, but I do make sure to knock a few things off my list each and every day. What does this do for me? Well, it tells me that I’m still on track. That I’m not losing my shit and I’m not a piece of shit. It reminds me of the progress I make throughout the day. It reminds me, even when I’m down and out, that I can get shit done.

It may be a small part of life but I truly think it’s important one. Now, a routine isn’t for everyone. I’ve known plenty people in the past that a routine does the exact opposite for them. It stresses them out. Makes them feel boxed in. All that jazz. For me, it’s different.

So, what do I make sure to include in my daily routine?

  • Blog (even if I don’t have much to write about… as you’ve seen)
  • Dog walk (sometimes 2x, sometimes 3x)
  • Workout and/or coaching (sometimes light, most of the time heavy)
  • SOMETHING for breakfast (yogurt, toast, or a full-blown American breakfast)
  • 5-10 Minutes at night to sit with my dogs and just breathe

Now there’s plenty else involved. Sometimes I do a bit of graphic design. As you all know, I do hold a full-time job, too, so that’s included in the routine.

But it’s very important for me. I don’t know if you lot are mostly routine people or not, but if you are, make sure you understand the real significance in having that routine. You aren’t just “going through the motions”, you’re doing part of what makes you, you.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Subtle Changes

Hi, everybody.

I’m back and I’m back with a much better attitude today, thankfully. A few things happened yesterday after I blogged!

  • My roommate came back from Colorado after a 3-week stay.
  • I lost my mind at volleyball, along with one of my other teammates, because we did everything we could to win but our teammates… well, frankly they just suck. There’s no easy way of putting it.
  • More success at work! Demo this morning went well and I woke up extremely early and did it without much help. That’s not like me and I take that as a small success.
  • The most important change: Me. I’m in a much better headspace today and it’s noticeable.

So how did I get out of my shit from yesterday? I think I typed it out. I am aware and I am at ease. I don’t write these things for nothing. I write them as a form of therapy for myself and hopefully it helps you, too. If it doesn’t, well, thanks for reading.

Living in the moment is so very important, but understanding there’s most likely more moments to come is also very important. Why? Well, it’s pretty simple. If you’re living in a shitty moment right now, understand there will be plenty more moments that won’t be like that shitty moment you’re experiencing right now. Trust me on that. If you don’t think you’ll make it past this shitty moment, talk to someone about it. Please. I’m not a burden on anyone. You aren’t a burden on anyone. We’re in this shit together.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Hitting My Stride

Hi, everyone!

THREE meetings booked this week. Let me put that into perspective: I booked one meeting over my first month.

It feels good. My boss, the VP of Sales, etc., are starting to throw some love at me. I needed that. I felt I wasn’t performing but as almost anything with life: it takes time.

I’m also doing really well in terms of boxing. I sparred yesterday and barely got touched. Landed quite a few clean jabs against some tough sparring partners. My coach actually said I did well, and he never, ever says that (even if he wants to). So that feels great.

This weekend I get to hang out with some friends I haven’t seen in a while and continue to train in the sport I love.

Things are really coming together. They really are. My finances are looking up, too (that could easily change, let’s not jinx it).

Have you taken a step back today to appreciate yourself? Appreciate the work you’ve put in to get even this far in life? You should. You’re impressive. You’re talented. You fuckin’ got this.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

A (False?) Sense of Peace

Hi, everybody!

Welp, the girlfriend went to another country for a month so it’s just you and me for a bit! I’m excited, are you?

I woke up this morning feeling serene. I did my normal routine but the girlfriend did stop by for a quick dog walk prior to her departure. I will say I’m not doing the best at work, but I hope with less distractions (new relationships tend to create a natural distraction) I can pick up the pace a bit. Also, I was just told I have a new boss starting… today? Tomorrow? One of the two. Hopefully he’s a good guy. OH! I’ve always had some serious thoughts about getting out of sales. Maybe moving into marketing. Who knows.

But back to the peace thing. This is how I know the blog’s title makes sense. One morning I wake up feeling like dog shit, the next morning I feel like I can preach to the world about awareness and loving yourself. I’m striving to be somewhere in between, because let’s be honest… no one really wants someone to constantly say “love yourself” or “I’m dog shit”. There’s got to be a balance.

And today I woke up with that balance. I knew I had a long work day ahead of me paired with my second job. I know I have an extremely early and important meeting tomorrow morning that I need to prep for. But I’m doing OK. I’m not stressing. As Richard Miller says in one of his meditations, “I am aware and I am at ease”. I feel that today. I really do.

Peaceful. Quiet. Calm. That’s my day today. And I’m excited for it. What’s your day look like?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Face to Face Meeting!

Hi, everyone!

We’re back! I’m in Sales as many of you know. Today is a big day. The person who handled the state I live in was fired, so I asked to take over for her. First things first, I hit up some of my old contacts. BOOM! First outreach, first meeting booked. And guess what? It’s in person. It’s been… over a year and a half since I’ve had a business meeting in person. I’m fucking pumped.

I thrive in person, believe it or not. Online? Not as much but I still do well. I’m very excited to be able to be myself 100% and just have a conversation with the guy. A “no” is the worse that can happen. Don’t let “no” bring you fear. It used to scare me. Now I embrace it. You want to know what I really, really dislike? “Maybe”. Like… get out of here with that. Give me a yes or a no. It’s simple.

Is the world getting back to “normal”? Sure feels like it. I’m hoping I hit big on commission soon so I can get out to see my buddy on the east coast. Today’s my first step towards that.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

P.S. I had some wonderful quotes from Marcus Aurelius to post today but I think I’ll get those in later this week.

Money Can Suck It

Hi, everybody!

Another day, another blog post. It’s lovely, isn’t it? Yeah, it’s super fun to read you bitchin’ and moanin’ all the time, man. I get it. But I have to write this shit out or it clouds my mind and I get NOTHING done. Just skim the blogs, man. Stop bitchin’ and moanin’.

Today I have a very simple agenda for this blog: Fuck money. I’m not poor and I have a decent job. It’s not that I’m super screwed or anything, not even close, but the idea of money pisses me off. The barriers money puts down drives me to the ground. I’m not even a hippie and it pisses me off. Crazy, right? Today I was paid. Right away I thought “OK, what bills should I pay right away?”

Like, what fun is that? The amount of stress we incur due to our expenses and income and all that jazz… just YEESH. Yes, we are in charge of our own emotions, our thoughts, how we view things. I get it. I get it.

Again, another day, another blog of nonsense. I still haven’t taken my first sip of my coffee. This one is my fault.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Constant Meetings

Hi, everybody.

I wish I could type out more to you today but as the title states, I am in quite a few meetings today. Even right now I’m in one. Someone named Cathy is speaking and I’m just making sure I keep my eyes on my webcam while I type. If there’s typos, I can blame Cathy.

I’m in the final week of “Boot Camp” for my new company. So ready for it to be done. Like just right now I was asked a question and dominated it. And I’m typing to you lot. It’s like my buddy. He was put on the Top 100 in some sort of academic award but the professors don’t know he spent about 2,000+ hours gaming during his Masters program.

I just compared myself to that. That’s not accurate. I’m just answering basic questions. And I might be missing some information I’ll need later, but that’s later. Right now I need to write. I love to write. This is how I start my day (well, after my morning workouts now). I must keep my routine. If I break it, it must be my choice, not someone else’s.

Also, has anyone noticed how little I speak of depression and anxiety nowadays? It’s breathtaking. I’m not fixed. Never will be. There is no “fixed”, but I’m in a much better spot now. And just a few months ago I thought I’d take my own life at some point here soon. Now I could never imagine that. Life’s crazy, huh? Or maybe it’s just me. Either way, I’ll take it.

Oh, some news: I believe I’m fighting four times next month. You could see me drop off a bit from the blog but I promise you it’s for a good reason.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.