Not Selling, but I Am Helping

Hi, everybody.

I’m not worried about streaks anymore. It’s so freeing, honestly. I thought writing every day was helping me, and it was, but not writing every day is helping me, too. Weird, right?

OK, so what to write about today? WORK! So you lot know I’m in sales if you’ve read 2-3 of my blog posts. If you’ve read any job-related posts over the past month or two, you know I’m struggling.

But I’ve found a loophole to not be attacked by management (even though they somehow love me and the VP said last week, “You are exactly what we need in our sales reps.”). It confused the hell out of me. But the loophole isn’t really a loophole. It’s something I wish I could actually get paid for – helping people. I’ve spent a good amount of my last week training and onboarding new employees along with helping others with their deals. Yes, it doesn’t put money in my bank account but it keeps my job secure and I’m helping people. That’s cool. I enjoy that.

It goes to show that if you are struggling in one area, most likely you’ll exceed expectations in another. Keep that in mind. But I really need a deal to close this week. Cross your fingers for me, please? Thanks.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Where I’m at Today

Hi, everybody.

If you read my post from yesterday (about two sentences), you know I’m not in the greatest place right now. Days are again starting to repeat, and my “way out” turned out to be a big fat rejection yesterday that shocked me back down to a depressed state.

Yes, I know. Why am I complaining? I still have a job and I still have everything I had before this opportunity came up. I get that. But I don’t work this hard at everything in my life to just stay in the same place every single day. I look to improve, and right now I’m not seeing any improvement. If anything, all I notice is a decline.

So yeah, I’m not in a good place today. I haven’t eaten and the only thing I did for myself was go for a workout. I spar later today and I do feel bad for those that step in the ring with me. I have quite a bit of frustration and anger to let out.

Anyway, I’ll stop bitching. I’m just not in a good place and I don’t have anyone to talk to about where I’m really at in my head, and it’s scary. I hope you’re in a better place.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

NERVOUS

Hi, everybody.

Quick post today. Wish me luck. I have a huge interview at 3 PM CT that could really change a lot for me. I’ve prepared for it but you know how our brains work – very unpredictable.

I’m hoping the best of me comes out. I tried everything in my power so far to pull him out – boxing, running, walking the dogs, eating a little something. It doesn’t seem to be working but maybe by 3 PM I’ll have a bit less anxiety.

I really hope I do well here.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Writing Out the Nerves

Hi, everybody.

Look, I’m nervous. I have the interview that I’ve been thinking about ALL WEEKEND in just an hour or so. I plan on getting out of this meeting, going for a brief mile run, and taking some deep breaths.

I mean, my hands are already sweating. I don’t usually get nervous for these things.

I wanted to tell someone so I’ve decided to tell you. Voicing nerves and anxiety helps me beat those damn things. I know I’m ready for the interview. I know I’m a fantastic candidate. Now it’s time to truly show that through genuine belief in myself.

My therapist mentioned the “reparent” myself. Now’s the time to do so. Wish me luck! I’ll update you tomorrow.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Update: Success. Moved to the final interview. That mile jog really did the trick for me.

Super Prepared

Hi, everybody.

OK, today’s post won’t be about nothing. Don’t even bother reading yesterday’s post. That was an absolute train wreck. I’m scared to even go back and look myself.

Today is a GREAT day! First I started with some sleeping in – it felt nice. My puppy did not enjoy it AT ALL. I’ve never seen him look more starved (don’t worry, he eats PLENTY). I slept till about 8:30 AM and rolled out of bed, fed the dogs of course, swept, showered, walked the dogs, then I got to do something that’s really, really fun for me. I got to go coach a really cool little six-year old. He’s actually technically sound and has some power, and he’s only six! I talked with his mother today and it looks like she does want him to compete, so we could see the little guy competing in boxing (in a safe manner) as early as eight years old! A pretty fun development this morning.

Then I got my work in. Love getting my work in. Music blasting and head down, slamming the heavy bag after shadow boxing an imaginative opponent for a couple of rounds. I followed that with some battle rope work and medicine ball slams, all capped off with a 3-mile run that felt oh so good.

What a day so far, right? Well, I’m not even to the present yet. I came home and made a killer sandwich. You know how I always talk about “small happinesses”? That’s one of them. I really cherished the shit out of that sandwich today. Oh, and I had some AMAZING red kimchi with it. Mhm, mhm, good.

My dogs are really calm today. Both asleep right now. It’s great because I’m actually nervous for tomorrow. I spoke briefly at a tremendous career opportunity coming up here tomorrow. The second interview. I’m focused and I’ve done my research. Hell, I even have thoughtful questions typed out and ready to go for tomorrow already. I feel good about it.

I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but if I do get this job… well, a lot of my money stressors drop out of my life. And the prospect of that is so freeing. But again, I can’t get ahead of myself. I can’t think I’ve already won. I must stay in the moment, be aware of how I’m feeling and more importantly, how I’m responding, and go from there.

I’ll update you lot as I always do. I really hope you’re having an amazing Sunday and get a great start to the week.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

A Sigh (or Sign) of Relief

Hi, everybody.

Well, I might have finally struck gold. Three members of my team at work left for another company recently and now they’re actively recruiting me. So much so that they’re willing to put interviews on my calendar for next Monday and Tuesday! I mean, we already have the second interview scheduled? They must love my LinkedIn profile quite a bit.

But it really is a huge stress reliever. This company wants to move fast and it’s a 50% pay increase. Also, it’s a job I think I would enjoy much more at a company that’s growing at an immense pace. Also, leadership looks solid across the board.

But I can’t count my chickens before they hatch (that’s the first time I’ve used that expression, I don’t know if I used it correctly) and I must make sure to stay focused on the task at hand: Absolutely crushing the interviews.

Wish me luck. I need a change.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Bored at The Auto Shop

Hi, everybody.

I figured I would write to you since, well, I am capable of doing nothing else at the moment. You see, I came to the auto shop to get an oil change and some work done. Problem: I can’t connect to an unsecured network on my work device. Looks like you lot are stuck with me now.

Today was weird. I woke up at 8:30 AM. I haven’t woken up that late in months (on accident). What happened?

I truly believe my finally said enough is enough, let’s get some rest. What did I say back? Well, mind, how about a 2 mile run to punish you? It worked wonders. I felt great after the run and dismissed the guilt I felt from sleeping in.

But there’s a problem. I need to get some fucking work done ASAP, and it looks like I’m anchored in here at the Nissan shop… just waiting to get internet back. Oh! And I have a web meeting in an hour.

It’s safe to say I didn’t plan this day well. However, who gives a shit? Let’s push through it, eh?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Going Through the Motions

Hi, everybody.

It’s exactly what it sounds like. I finally understand the “Mondays” joke now. Well, it still isn’t funny but I get it. I get it. Mondays do suck. It’s always a reminder that I’m right here back at my desk making cold calls and sending out creative emails. Yet I’ve run out of creative things to write. I mean, there’s proof right here on this blog.

Am I overdoing it? Do I need to take a break or maybe make a shift (through a vacation) to reset myself? I feel like I’ve relived the same week for about two months, do any of you struggle with that? I’m curious. I can’t be the only one, right?

But I am tired of going through the motions. It’s only 11 AM CT and I’ve hit my goals for work today. What do I do for the next six hours? Who the fuck knows, really. I will probably mow my lawn, take my dogs on a second walk, and hopefully not nap. Napping always puts me in a bad mood. However, it’s hard to keep your mind stimulated throughout the day when you’re just running through the motions. And when the mind isn’t stimulated, the body tends to wilt.

Let’s shoot for change today, eh?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Early Start

Hi, everybody.

Last night was some hell, I’ll tell you that much. Not only did my company pry and pry for end of month closes, they also kept a conversation going till about 11 PM at night trying to pull in any deal possible before September hit. Honestly, I wish I was writing this in October (end of September) because I could make an easy, easy Green Day joke right there.

So yeah, that was stressful. Especially since I haven’t brought in a dime all month–but that happens sometimes, I do believe I will have an outstanding month this month as I’ve built a really, really solid pipeline.

But the stress is still there. I don’t wake up early usually, and definitely not for work purposes, but today I did. Today I made sure to wake up early and start climbing the charts. So far? Yeah, no results. But patience, baby, patience. It also doesn’t help that I worked till midnight last night after some heavy, heavy sparring rounds.

But enough bitching. I’m working from home with my dogs by my side. I have an endless supply of coffee and I have a decent amount of groceries. My bills are paid for the upcoming month. There are a lot of positives–but as you can probably tell, work is weighing heavily on my mind recently.

It will all shake out, right? As long as the work is put in, right? I sure as hell hope so.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Dead End

Hi, everybody.

Another day, eh? It’s gloomy out today. Clouds everywhere, no sunlight available. Meh.

Usually I’m pumped about days like this because, well, I do like to nap. Nothing better than a nap on a stormy day. But today I don’t want to nap. Why? Because I feel like I’m heading in a direction that leads to a dead end (hence the title).

I can’t seem to find that “purpose” in my life with my current occupation and I believe I will struggle with this till I find a solution. Is the solution a new job? Most likely. Do I need to make sure I choose wisely moving forward? Yes.

But some of that stuff is out of my control. I don’t know when the right opportunity will present itself, all I know is that I’m quite miserable with what I’m doing nowadays. My drive for sales has really dropped off, maybe due to management, maybe due to me, maybe a mix of both. I need a solution. Someone sell me a solution, please.

But there are positives when I look a bit deeper. A former drug addict like myself has now held a “big boy” job for 4 years now, going on 5. Yes, I’ve switched companies twice, but that’s been on my terms. No termination! (Knock on wood).

I’ve also grown significantly both personally and professionally. I understand a lot more of what makes this world work, as least here in the US. I’ve had my thought of “everyone is just about money” validated through my 4-5 years of sales work. Most people really are just about money. It sucks. I very much dislike money because, well, it stresses me the hell out.

I think we are moving in the right direction, but I tend to stay on the weary side. What’s that saying? Hope for the best, expect the worst. That’s pretty much been my life, so I think I can continue on that path and stay positive. I understand and I am aware of what my capabilities are, what I bring to the table, and how I can impact this world. Now I just need to make things happen.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.