Quick Update: Fight Result

Hi, everybody.

The training and mental work paid off. I won via unanimous decision—never a contest.

Hard work validated. Thanks for tagging along. Time to “rest” (kidding, I’m writing this from the boxing gym right now).

Believe in what you’re doing.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

If You’re Like Me, Read This

Hi, everybody.

A friend who shares somewhat similar struggles as me recommended a book recently. Usually I say “OK, I’ll read it” and never follow through.

Well, it helps your recommendation to be read if I’m attracted to you. And that’s the case here. But boy, am I glad I listened to her and my attraction.

What’s this book? Published in 2007, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer, provides a gut punch to your inner self. The battle between outer vs. inner. You know, a lot of what this blog is about. At least that’s what I’ve read so far.

Pick the book up if you want to. I’m three chapters in and it’s already caught my eye. Enough so where I’m recommending it this early. Hell, the book could be absolutely terrible by the end of it all. But if you pick it up, at least read through chapter three.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Confusing Days

Hi, everybody.

Sometimes my days consist of me fighting off all the negativity within my head. Today was one of those days—and I never got ahold of it.

I know I can drop this moment and move forward, move past it. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter—right?

Wrong.

I need to figure out why I have so many poor days. So many days where my mind traps my body. I speak about awareness, but I have so much to work on in that area. Let’s do this together, yeah?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

So Much Room for Activities

Hi, everybody!

It’s been a busy, busy day (what else is new?). It’s been a FANTASTIC day so far. What happened? Well, good 5-6 rounds of sparring, some tennis with my Pops, and finished off with some more bag rounds (mainly working on my inside game–uppercuts and hooks). In just a bit, I’ll be heading to play volleyball. Safe to say I should sleep just fine tonight.

So all the external stuff is going well for me today, now it’s time to check in mentally. I advise you to do the same. The day might feel like it’s going well, but maybe you aren’t dealing with some demons. Maybe I’m not dealing with some demons. But it’s time to figure that out for ourselves.

Time to dig deep. Give me one moment.

I still fear the potential conversation I will have to have with my significant other when they return. Maybe that’s why I’ve kept myself so busy today (shit, I’ve only eaten a banana today, too). Maybe I’m hiding. Hopefully this writing is bringing me out of my shell. Well, it is. I’m already working though this issue in my head, through this writing. Am I any better off? Maybe, maybe not. But it’s like I always say, the important part is being aware. Understanding not just what’s around you, but what’s going on inside you, too.

Remember that. Even if the day is feeling great, make sure to take a deep breath and really check in with yourself. Same thing goes for when you’re feeling shitty. Awareness is key. Now let’s get back to the physical demands of the day, eh?!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Doing Surprisingly Well in Texas

Hi, everybody!

Quick update for you. I am not dying on this trip. I’m not losing my mind like I did on my last vacation. I’m actually doing quite well.

So what’s changed? I talk about it often but I really believe it comes down to awareness. Self-awareness specifically. I knew coming here I’d be sleeping in a new environment, that my mind might push me to a state of loneliness, that being without boxing might throw me in a hole.

Well, it did. But I knew it would and I proactively made some adjustments. New environment? I made sure to bring some stuff to help me sleep BUT I also told myself I’d be more involved/social with my coworkers here, and that helped me integrate a bit better into this new place (yes, I know, I leave in like a day or two, it’s not a big deal… but it is for me).

Loneliness always sets in for me in a hotel room late at night when I’m by myself. But this time I didn’t let it happen. I knew where my mind would go (and it did go there) and I fought that shit away. I did that. I did that by myself. And if you can’t tell, I’m proud of that shit.

And the boxing. I knew this would be an issue for me. Boxing isn’t just a sport for me, it’s therapy. I took action. I Googled for boxing gyms near me and guess what? I found a decent one. Well, not really, but it was enough. I threw my headphones in and went at the bags, hit a few shadow boxing rounds, and tried to not step on any toes. It was worth it. I left feeling recharged.

So what am I talking about here? “Oh, I’m doing so great”. – No. The real thing to take away from this blog is that simple “control the controllable”. And there’s a lot more we can control than we give ourselves credit for.

Whatever you fear today, whatever you’re hesitant about, whatever is holding you back–think about what you can control and focus on that. You can’t do shit about anything else. You’ll need to accept that like I’ve had to accept it.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Blogging During Meetings

Hi, everybody.

As you know if you’ve read my recent posts, I’m currently at a Quarterly Business Review for the company I work for. First time meeting my new colleagues! Everyone has been great so far.

To be honest, I’m extremely bored listening to everyone say the same thing during their presentations, so I decided to write to you. I have to type quietly so I don’t get in trouble.

I’m enjoying the conversations we’re having in this room. It’s collaborative and helpful–much different from my last company. I was scared leaving my last company, moving to something new and more challenging, but now I’m happy I took a bet on myself. When’s the last time you bet on yourself? Do it more often–it’s worth it.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

UPDATE: I did not get caught typing out this blog. Nice.

Morning Thoughts

Hi, everybody!

Each and every day we have here is different. There’s times when everything feels like a replay, but really, every single day is different.

We tell ourselves “no” often. Why? We hate hearing no from others.

I would like to move out of my hometown.

When’s the moment I stop thinking about certain people? How can I get closer to that moment in time?

I constantly need to remind myself about gratitude. Typing out that last sentence reminded me this time.

So what the hell was this? Airport thoughts, really. Maybe I need to start bringing my phone in the shower and typing out shower thoughts. That would be… interesting.

Welp, I’m off to Texas. Flight boards in just a few minutes. I’m gonna miss my pups! And the boxing gym. But I’ll be back Thursday. That’s a short, short trip. I should be fine, right? I will be.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Control The Controllable

Hi, everybody.

I wanted to take this time to shoot you a quick reminder that you can only control what you can control. Everything else? Don’t stress on it.

I had to tell myself this multiple times this week as I work from home and continuously have internet issues that could in end cost me my job. However, it’s out of my control. Instead of freaking out, I am finding solutions. Oh, and I got the two free months of internet out of complaining, HA!

But seriously, don’t stress yourself with things outside of you. It’s not worth it. It’s not healthy. Treat yourself right.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Subtle Changes

Hi, everybody.

I’m back and I’m back with a much better attitude today, thankfully. A few things happened yesterday after I blogged!

  • My roommate came back from Colorado after a 3-week stay.
  • I lost my mind at volleyball, along with one of my other teammates, because we did everything we could to win but our teammates… well, frankly they just suck. There’s no easy way of putting it.
  • More success at work! Demo this morning went well and I woke up extremely early and did it without much help. That’s not like me and I take that as a small success.
  • The most important change: Me. I’m in a much better headspace today and it’s noticeable.

So how did I get out of my shit from yesterday? I think I typed it out. I am aware and I am at ease. I don’t write these things for nothing. I write them as a form of therapy for myself and hopefully it helps you, too. If it doesn’t, well, thanks for reading.

Living in the moment is so very important, but understanding there’s most likely more moments to come is also very important. Why? Well, it’s pretty simple. If you’re living in a shitty moment right now, understand there will be plenty more moments that won’t be like that shitty moment you’re experiencing right now. Trust me on that. If you don’t think you’ll make it past this shitty moment, talk to someone about it. Please. I’m not a burden on anyone. You aren’t a burden on anyone. We’re in this shit together.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Helping People Selflessly

Hi, everybody.

I hope you’re doing well today. I am, even though I happened to fall asleep on the couch last night (usually that messes up my back REAL BAD).

Today’s another good day. Feels like it’s more routine now to wake up in a good mood rather than a bad mood. What do I attribute that to? Well, you lot know I attribute a lot of my mental health successes to this blog, my support system, and remaining aware. However, helping people provides an extra boost to my overall mental health. Why? Well, I finally have the mental capacity to help others without ME in mind. It’s finally getting to the point where it’s selfless help rather than “pat me on the back for helping” help. There’s a difference.

So what’s allowed me to help more freely without keeping myself in the picture? I don’t quite know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I think it’s just becoming more and more natural the more I stay aware and the more I practice.

Everyone tells us we can do anything we put our minds to. I don’t believe that one bit, but I like the general sentiment of the statement. And we can do PLENTY that we put our minds to, just not all. Helping others selflessly is one thing I put my mind to and it’s starting to finally come together. Do I still feel good when I help people? Yes, but I’m trying to eliminate the self from helping others, so that needs to change.

I don’t know if I confused you here. I hope I didn’t. If you have questions, please feel free to comment below. I love chatting with you lot!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.