Excited to Write?!

Hi, everybody!

I’m not in a great mood today but I am going to act like it!

Kidding, I’m in an OK mood but who cares, right?

It’s 10:42 AM CT and I’m finished with most of my work for the day. I can’t wait for the next couple of hours to pass so I can hit the gym, hit the sauna, hit the steam room, and hit the whirlpool. Ah, I love recovering prior to a fight. Also I ate like shit last night so I need to cut that out and lose a little bit of weight before my fight on Sunday.

But man, I am so excited to be writing to you lot today. I really don’t have the slightest clue as to why, but my writing is starting to feel less like a chore now that I know I can stop this streak whenever I damn well please.

I’ve picked up reading again. Normal pattern for me: Read for a couple of weeks, stop for a couple of months, read for a couple of weeks, repeat. I’d like to change that but hey, reading for a couple of weeks is better than most people in this world. At least I think. I’m also getting crushed by my best friend because he reads like two books a week. Insane.

What else is going on? I guess I’ve been on a roller coaster of loneliness/not lonely. The switch in feeling happens so quickly. I really do need to figure out why I’m so different in the morning compared to at night.

And where can I figure this shit out? Through writing. But also I have a therapy session at 2:30 PM today. That should help, too.

What are you up to today? Have you checked in with yourself to see where your head and heart are at for the day? I highly recommend you do so–it always helps me when I take 2-3 minutes to figure out that shit.

Anyway, thank you for reading. Two more days till another dub!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Bored at The Auto Shop

Hi, everybody.

I figured I would write to you since, well, I am capable of doing nothing else at the moment. You see, I came to the auto shop to get an oil change and some work done. Problem: I can’t connect to an unsecured network on my work device. Looks like you lot are stuck with me now.

Today was weird. I woke up at 8:30 AM. I haven’t woken up that late in months (on accident). What happened?

I truly believe my finally said enough is enough, let’s get some rest. What did I say back? Well, mind, how about a 2 mile run to punish you? It worked wonders. I felt great after the run and dismissed the guilt I felt from sleeping in.

But there’s a problem. I need to get some fucking work done ASAP, and it looks like I’m anchored in here at the Nissan shop… just waiting to get internet back. Oh! And I have a web meeting in an hour.

It’s safe to say I didn’t plan this day well. However, who gives a shit? Let’s push through it, eh?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Decision Made

Hi, everybody.

It’s a R&R type of afternoon and I’ve had some time to think about this blog. I’ve decided the quality of my posts has drastically taken a hit with this damn streak on my mind, so I’ve set an end date for the streak.

With this post, it will be 147(?) posts in 147 days. That’s a lot. I think a lot but not enough to write THAT much. So I’ll be calling my daily streak quits at 150.

Now that sounds like a commitment, I get it, but it’s not. If I feel like I need to keep writing to solve a thought in my head or if my anxiety kicks in and doesn’t want to let the streak go away, I will continue to write.

But right here, right now, I think a good stopping point is 150 posts in 150 days. The goal was originally 30 posts in 30 days. We’re about to 5x that! Insane, right?

But the content has struggled as of yet. I apologize for that. I don’t know if it’s really because I’m writing too much. I think it’s just been my mood. I’m back to that whole “not excited” me. I hate this version. Luckily it hasn’t been hitting me like a ton of bricks as it usually does, but that time could come if I don’t figure something out.

So yeah, I might keep writing. But right now, let’s agree to stop at 150.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Understanding Yourself

Hi, everybody.

Do you have a difficult time understanding yourself? I do. Not all the time but, well, a lot of the time.

The funny thing? Most people I know think I’m one of the most confident people they know. The faces we can put on, right? You lot know the real me more than most in real life.

Are we made to understand ourselves? What’s to understand? Both good questions and both extremely difficult to answer. I mean, even when I think about things now, I wonder how I’ll ever “understand” myself or what that even means. But I came into writing this blog thinking it. Now, after the wonderful power of writing struck, I don’t think there is an understanding of ourselves. I mean, we kind of just are what we are, right? No need to understand it.

Again, what the hell did I just write?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Lake Day

Hi, everybody.

I’ve waited all summer for this day. Finally, I’m on a lake.

The person I’m with just ran three miles with me around the lake — that was nice. Guess what? Now it’s time for some tacos and beer. Tomorrow we get back into the thick of training. Let’s have some fun tonight, yeah?

But I have to leave you with something, don’t I? Something to think about. So how about this: Don’t think about anything. Try that. Just let today be today and enjoy yourself. Hell, if you’re successful, it might just roll in tomorrow and you might just enjoy tomorrow, too! That would be nuts, right?

We can hope. We can do our best. We can live. Maybe one day we can live on a lake.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Quick Note to Myself

Hi, everybody.

Wait, shouldn’t I say “Hi, me.”?

Whatever.

I’m off to golf with my Pops. I’m pumped. It’s been a while since we last played and well, last time we played I believe we got into an argument. Normal stuff for us.

So what am I doing to be proactive about the chance of that happening again? Writing about it real quick before I hop in the car. Awareness, people, awareness. I am aware that I can be easily irritated and argumentative with my father. I’m also aware I can control that.

Thanks for being an outlet for me, internet and people of the internet.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

It’s A QD!

Quote day. QD stands for quote day.

Hi, everybody.

I’m currently at a graduation party but I wanted to write a bit — then I realized I don’t have much today. So what did I do? Scoured the internet for some gosh darn amazing quotes. Just for you.

If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.

Morris West

You can say that again.

Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.

Seneca

I mean, that’s hard to argue.

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

Vivian Greene

Sense a theme yet?

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.

Les Brown

Yup.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Me

Little Things Do Big Things

Title written by a seven year old.

Hi, everybody!

As I continue to write to you, I continue to search for what to write about. So today we write about the simple things in life that make such a huge difference in our lives when we look back and truly think about them.

Today I woke up with a “here we go again” attitude. No good. No good. But I adjusted and I made sure to do the little things that I know help get me out of that train of thought. I made some coffee. Little, yes, but it did the job. I started to get a little pep in my step and hit the ground running with work.

Then I decided to put my foot down and say no to an upcoming interview. I don’t want the job. It’s simple as that. Why waste my time in an interview? Just because I want to see if I can get moved along in the process? Am I that bored? Yes. But I canceled that shit and that’s a little thing that helped me quite a bit today.

I went to the gym in the middle of the day. Again, little, but it’s probably the only reason I have energy to write to you right now. Aren’t you grateful? I know I am. Ha.

And I plan on doing a lot of little things as the day progresses. I mean, shit, I already grocery shopped and purchased some dog treats/snacks (one of my pups has a broken toe–no idea how he got it). Those are other little things I’ve done today to enhance how I feel today.

But let’s be honest. It comes down to you. It comes down to me. It comes down to our psyche. It always does. We can use little things to mask how we are really feeling, or we can acknowledge that we don’t have to feel a certain way if we can just let our psyche out of the chaotic mess it’s in once in a while. So yeah, little things do help, but do we need the help? We have everything we need right here, right inside our damn noggin and right underneath our chest.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Quick Update: Fight Result

Hi, everybody.

The training and mental work paid off. I won via unanimous decision—never a contest.

Hard work validated. Thanks for tagging along. Time to “rest” (kidding, I’m writing this from the boxing gym right now).

Believe in what you’re doing.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

If You’re Like Me, Read This

Hi, everybody.

A friend who shares somewhat similar struggles as me recommended a book recently. Usually I say “OK, I’ll read it” and never follow through.

Well, it helps your recommendation to be read if I’m attracted to you. And that’s the case here. But boy, am I glad I listened to her and my attraction.

What’s this book? Published in 2007, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer, provides a gut punch to your inner self. The battle between outer vs. inner. You know, a lot of what this blog is about. At least that’s what I’ve read so far.

Pick the book up if you want to. I’m three chapters in and it’s already caught my eye. Enough so where I’m recommending it this early. Hell, the book could be absolutely terrible by the end of it all. But if you pick it up, at least read through chapter three.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.