New Streak?

Hi, everybody.

I put up a post yesterday while I was lying in bed sweating. If you missed it, well you missed that I missed writing a post for the first time in 168 days or something. I woke up devastated (and hungover). But I read an excerpt of a great book and it pushed me right out of that negative space.

So now my thought is… do I build up a new streak? I mean, it did keep structure in my life. It kept me focused on the task at hand and you lot ended up being an army of therapists for me. It’s kind of nice, ya know? But there is stress that comes with having to write every day.

Now that I think about it (see, I always say writing is so very important to think things through), I don’t believe I’ll give a shit about a streak going forward. I want to provide good content for you lot, my audience. You don’t need fluff. You want to read good shit, not a bunch of words just to hit a damn streak.

But thank you. Thank you for sticking through the streak with me. Some of you read every single post. I really appreciated that. Some of you commented your own thoughts and built a small conversation with me, I am so grateful for that.

I hope this blog keeps growing. I need to figure out how to make it grow. I’m not in writing for money but I would love to reach a larger audience (insert ad – kidding). I would love to chat with more people. If you have any ideas, maybe even a website revamp, let me know. I love hearing from you.

I wish you the best. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Two Fights, One Weekend?!

Hi, everybody!

Some (maybe) incredible news to share with ya! My coach called me yesterday and told me he can get me matched up for amateur boxing bouts on Saturday and Sunday this weekend. Don’t worry, fighting back-to-back days is normal in amateur, especially if it’s a tournament.

I’m PUMPED. Luckily I’ve been training hard as I knew I fight on the 25th of this month, but getting some solid work here before the end of the year is very important if I want to successfully go pro early 2022. As many fights as possible, please. Keep em’ coming.

Exciting stuff. Now I need to take a step outside, hang out with my pups, foam roll my legs out, ice, stretch, and head to training/coaching!

Oh, you know today is 150 days in a row? I don’t know if I’ll stop. This post was too easy to write. I mean, how exciting, right?!

Let’s beat some people up this weekend!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Decision Made

Hi, everybody.

It’s a R&R type of afternoon and I’ve had some time to think about this blog. I’ve decided the quality of my posts has drastically taken a hit with this damn streak on my mind, so I’ve set an end date for the streak.

With this post, it will be 147(?) posts in 147 days. That’s a lot. I think a lot but not enough to write THAT much. So I’ll be calling my daily streak quits at 150.

Now that sounds like a commitment, I get it, but it’s not. If I feel like I need to keep writing to solve a thought in my head or if my anxiety kicks in and doesn’t want to let the streak go away, I will continue to write.

But right here, right now, I think a good stopping point is 150 posts in 150 days. The goal was originally 30 posts in 30 days. We’re about to 5x that! Insane, right?

But the content has struggled as of yet. I apologize for that. I don’t know if it’s really because I’m writing too much. I think it’s just been my mood. I’m back to that whole “not excited” me. I hate this version. Luckily it hasn’t been hitting me like a ton of bricks as it usually does, but that time could come if I don’t figure something out.

So yeah, I might keep writing. But right now, let’s agree to stop at 150.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

100 Freakin’ Days

Hi, everybody.

Welp, we finally made it. We’ve hit the 100-day streak, baby! We originally set out for a week, then we pushed it to 30. There were whispers, “there’s no chance he makes it.” but HA, how wrong were they? Then we hit fiddy. I thought we were done there but nope, the fingers kept tip-tapping.

75. No way.

80. Must be running out of gas (definitely was).

90. So close yet so far.

95. End soon? Nothing to really write about.

100. Here we are. Here we freakin’ are. (I’ll stop using that word now.)

I’ve been thinking about this moment for, well, like just yesterday. Not going to lie to you lot. I didn’t think this far ahead. So now that we are at 100, I feel like I should post a reflection on what this accomplishment means to me. Or better yet, what this accomplishment has taught me along the way. I might pull from some blog posts if I gain the courage to read back that far (I cringe at my writing like most writers). We’ll see what this turns into. It’s always a surprise, isn’t it? I think we should keep it that way. Especially on the last day (spoiler, I will be moving to a post a week, maybe two).

OK, so what first happened to start all of this? I think I was just starting my new job, yep, looks like it was that. It was extremely slow the first month or so at the new gig, so it makes sense I decided to start typing nonsense every day to fill time.

Ah, the 30-day post! And of course, I posted it from my phone. Sheesh. What did I write about here? Ah! I established that I built the habit by the 30-day mark. That was a huge moment. Made me feel like I could keep going and going and going, and well, look where we’re at now.

Some themes I’m noticing as I look back: Gratitude, awareness, and doggos. Oh, constant mood changes, too. It’s almost as if the name of this blog actually makes sense. The mood changes, reflecting on them now, make me feel… alive. I mean this blog wouldn’t exist without my little bit of crazy (or lotta bit). I’m grateful for that. This blog helped me become aware of my mood changes and aware of all of the things I should be grateful for. Am I grateful all of the time? Hell no, but I’m working towards it. This blog proves that.

Some girl problems happen throughout the rest of the way. Oh, I also snuck in “quote days”, which were really just lazy days for me. Yes, I made sure to provide quotes that I actually like and resonate with me, but simply enough I just didn’t have anything to write to you lot on those days. I hope you appreciated the quotes as they were filled with much more wisdom than I possess, ha!

So this is the end, eh? We’ll see. Now I know I can quite a bit of what I set my mind to. This is day 100, baby. Day 100. That’s insane. Last year I thought blogging was somewhat stupid, now I’m slapping myself in the face for not starting sooner.

I highly recommend putting your thoughts into something, whether it’s actual conversation or written word, I highly recommend it. It’s kept me at ease, kept negative thoughts at bay, and helped me grow significantly over the past 3-4 months. Well, shit, I guess over the past year. I started this thing last July (2020). I didn’t think we’d make it this far. I thought I’d be dead. I guess I thought wrong. Thank you for helping.

Don’t worry, this isn’t goodbye. Will you see a post from me tomorrow? Maybe. But I do want to move to posts with more substance, so as I mentioned above, we might move to a 1-2 blog posts a week schedule. Still TBD.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for being such great readers. For tagging along this entire time. For making me feel heard. You lot are something special.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Coming to an End

Hi, everybody.

Don’t worry, this blog isn’t finished! However, I think I need to stop thinking about this streak a bit less (this will be 78 days in a row). It actually drives my anxiety up and with the way I’ve been feeling lately, that’s definitely not needed. Why has this been driving my anxiety up? It’s not the writing itself, but it’s the self-given obligation + not much material to write about. Like today, I don’t have anything for ya really. I played tennis with my Pops earlier, worked out, did a bunch of chores, and I coach later this evening. That’s it. My days are all the same. At least it feels that way. Always in a rush, always looking at the clock.

Want to know what my focus is? I want to make some money. I want to be comfortable enough where I can travel more and just do more. Right now my life is boring. I’m getting to the point where I’m not excited for anything again and it’s fucking scary. My passions are depleting and the repetitive motions are getting to me. What can I change? Myself, a bit. I can be a bit more aware of this feeling and try to combat it with practical ideas, such as doing more work on the weekends so I better set myself up for the week. I don’t know. I’m drowning. I’m 30 and lost. I’m fucking lost.

I’ll still write to you lot, I promise. Maybe not tomorrow but maybe tomorrow, who the hell knows.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.


Hi, everybody.

About damn time, right?! I can finally be done writing about turning 30 because, well, I turned 30 today.

What am I doing for my birthday? Sticking to my routine but sprinkling in some fantastic interactions with friends. Gym, work, quick coffee with a friend, work, boxing, coaching, and finish the night with some amazing Thai food. It’s nothing special, but sounds like a perfect day to me.

I am going to buy myself a plane ticket to visit a friend in the Northeast and that’ll be my gift to myself. Other than that, it’s just a normal day. I’m glad I didn’t build this day up – holidays, including birthdays, can be extremely stressful for those suffering from mental health issues. They are for me. But I controlled it this time by being aware. Being aware and at ease.

I’d never even think to be “aware and at ease” when I turned 20, actually I was a drug addict when I turned 20, so I think I’m trending upwards.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Concentration Creates Stimulation

Hi, everybody!

First off, the title is a direct quote from Brené Brown. I’m not that clever to come up with such a statement. But let’s talk about it. Also, let’s keep the streak alive (6 days, yup yup).

Concentration creates stimulation. It’s true. The other way around? Not so much all the time. But concentration does stimulate us and usually what’s around us. Intensifies everything. Makes things real. So how do you concentrate and stimulate? I don’t really know, that depends on you, but I’ll tell you what works for me.

I stick to my passion. You lot have read me writing about boxing often. Well, that’s because I do it often. When I do it, I concentrate entirely on it. When do I feel like I’m “clicking” the most? When I’m boxing. When I’m coaching boxing.

My coach said he’ll train me for 1 pro fight. Concentration increases when I’m in the gym. Stimulation at an all-time high. It feels great.

So for me it’s about sticking with my passion. Understanding I must prioritize over almost everything. Sounds selfish. Maybe it is. But I think it’s the opposite. The days I start with boxing, the days I have my passion with me, those are the days I am my best self. And you don’t want to be around someone’s worst self, right?

Concentration creates stimulation. People, remember that. Thanks, Brené Brown.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.