Pressure

Hi, everyone.

I’m beginning to feel immense pressure to succeed in everything. I’m not mad about it – I think pressure is needed at times to enhance growth. However, falling asleep at 8 PM on a Saturday and waking up at 3 AM because of pressure isn’t a good thing.

So what’s keeping me in this pressurized space? I have a girlfriend now and I forgot how much time I need to set aside to spend time with her. I honestly forgot. I enjoy her company but I enjoy my time – mainly because I need to get shit done, like blog. Oh, and blogging is a bit of pressure. I know none of you expect me to keep the streak alive, but I expect to keep the streak alive. Why? No clue.

What else? Oh, I’m not doing the best at work. I’m not doing terrible, but I’d like to be doing a helluva lot better.

I’m supposed to be boxing competitvely shortly but it seems like I’m just training to train. I don’t know if my coach will ever match me up again and it’s bothering me. Why? Because I feel the pressure to continue to get better each and every day. I haven’t taken a rest day in two weeks. I am bothered by the fact that my stamina isn’t where it needs to be, but it doesn’t make sense to be bothered. Why? Well, I don’t have a fight lined up.

Money. Well, if you’ve read my last few posts, you know I’m fucked with money. I’d rather not talk about the pressure there.

There’s plenty more but I didn’t come on here to bitch to you lot. I came here seeking advice. What do I prioritize? How do I say no to things? How can I take some time for myself without sounding like a dick to my girlfriend and close friends? What the hell do I do to alleviate this pressure?

Back to it.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Sweet Sundays

Hi, everybody!

It’s not often I use alliteration but today I’m daring. Scared?

Kidding. I’m actually about to lie down for a nap. Figured I’d write to you lot first before I doze off into a million dreams about who knows what.

Why is today sweet? Why are Sundays considered special? You have the obvious religious foundations, but outside of that, society’s really made Sundays extremely important. It’s the day you have to recharge. It’s the day you have to finish your final chore. It’s the day you have before your work week starts all over again. It’s the day you come back from vacation. It’s the day you do community service. It’s the day you go to a kid’s birthday party. It’s the day you…

You do a lot on Sundays. We consider, at least I think we consider Sundays to be a day of relaxation when often they aren’t. Do we take enough time for ourselves, truly? Do we? I know I don’t. I don’t for myself. Look, I’m writing to you lot right now. Yeah, I’ve mentioned this helps me, but fuck I’m tired. I should be napping.

OK, we’re getting away from the point. As always, there really isn’t much of a point here, but this is a good reminder to actually reset yourself. Actually recharge. Take a breath. Sundays can be filled with pressure. You have the power to handle that pressure or better yet, not even feel it.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

New House Nerves

I close on my house this upcoming Monday. I’m extremely, actually I can’t even put it into words how pumped I really am about having my own space again. That’s what it’s about, that’s what it’s always been about when it comes to “owning” or “renting” my own space. I need that own space. I get that back Monday, but it comes at a hefty price.

Buying a house seems super fun. It’s a great achievement I guess? I mean a decent one. Most likely you’re pretty much just borrowing a fuck ton of money from the bank to buy the house for you. Then paying that shit back.

Jesus, I sound negative today, don’t I? I swear I’m not. I think I just need some food.

Anyway, I am excited about the house. My dogs will be able to sleep wherever the hell they want again & I’ll be back to a routine. Not a boring routine, but I will be able to keep a sleep schedule again. Thankfully.

I mentioned hefty price earlier. I am worried a bit. I know I can handle anything thrown my way. I do know that, but pulling out a check of most your savings in the middle of a pandemic isn’t the best feeling. Oh, my company is also looking at a way to structure our pay in an even worse manner. They won’t tell us that, though. Keep your eyes open, people.

Let’s drop all of the negativity. I get my own space again on Monday. I get something to work on, something to pour passion into. Maybe I’ll even have enough time to start another garden this upcoming Spring. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you lovely people posted.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.