What, that doesn't explain it enough?
Hi, everybody.
Big exhale.
It’s the last week of Boot Camp for my work. That’s all I have to type today. We’re almost there, baby! FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST (in a week). I guess I did start the morning off well with a workout and a dog walk. That was nice.
Oh, don’t worry. I’ll write a long blog post to finish off this 30-day sprint. This is laziness but I promise you I have a very busy day.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody!
Don’t worry, I’m not really taking a break. I’m just not going to write anything today. Today will be a “quote/excerpt of the day” type of day. Not happy about it? Deal with it. Or maybe the quote/excerpt will help you deal with it.
Man Is Not Our Enemy
By Thich Nhat Hanh
“The roots of discrimination, conflict, and war are not to be found outside us. They are within our own way of thinking and looking at the world. The real enemy is our ignorance, our attachment to views, and our wrong perceptions. With looking deeply and the practice of compassionate dialogue, we can transform misperceptions and anger into understanding and love, just as a gardener can transform compost to grow beautiful flowers and vegetables.”
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody.
It’s pleasant inside and outside my home today. Same with my mind. Right now I’m lying in bed with one of my dogs and a friend (no, we aren’t doing anything like that). I finished boxing training this morning along with mowing. Oh, had the chance to pick up Dunkin’, too, and everybody knows America Runs on Dunkin™.
Sorry for that.
It is peaceful today. I’m about to head out to a wine festival in midtown. 400 wines to sample, plenty of food vendors, and a wonderful sunny sky. Calm winds, low 70s, and … why am I sitting in front of this computer?
Oh yeah, I love writing. This is peaceful and quiet, too. This gives me balance during a hectic week, a hectic weekend, a hectic life. I am loving lots of life right now, though. Feels good. Don’t get me wrong, still battling my demons, but I think I’m finally breaking through. And if I’m not, I have you lot to fall back on, right? I can trust you. More importantly, I can trust myself now.
Thank you for your help in finding me some peace and quiet. You’ll get there soon. Hell, I hope you’re already there. I really do.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody!
I hope you’re all doing so, so great today. Each day is bringing something new for me right now and boy does it feel good.
Yesterday I was quite busy. Crazy, right? Never happens. Anyway, I had my normal work schedule but had to follow it with legitimate sparring rounds and sand volleyball. You could say my body is quite tired, but it’s not limiting me. I enjoy being sore. I enjoy being tired at times. I enjoy having the feeling of “I am doing shit”. It’s an empowering feeling, especially when “doing shit” means jabbing someone in the face and torso for 3 minutes straight.
Do you lot know I’m on a 26-day streak with blogs? I can’t stress enough how instrumental writing is in maintaining my mental health. Remember, this thing started off as a mental health blog. I still think it is, but I’m not having as many struggles right now. It’s a good feeling but I do know things will change and I’ll relapse back into that negative state. However, this time I’m confident I’ll be able to navigate away from it quicker than ever. I’m happy about that. Very happy about that. My apologies if the change in this blog deters you from reading any further, but if it does, you’re kind of a butthead. I mean, think about it. You want me to be sad? C’mon, this is a good thing!
I guess I should tie in the title, eh? Forgot to do that. “Back Where It Started” alludes to me sparring at my first ever boxing gym I trained at. That’s literally it. I am not creative with titles. You know this by now.
I’m trying to figure out my next step with this blog. I’d like to do more. I don’t know if I have the necessary time to do more, but I would like to do more to help those struggling with mental health. If I could do it through boxing 100% of the time, my life would be complete. However, things don’t just fall into place like that.
If you have an idea of where you’d like to see this blog go (I can write about almost anything), please let me know. If you’d like more stories of my life, let me know. If you’d like more self care BS or book quotes, let me know. I’m open to it. I love my readers. You lot save my life each and every day. Thank you.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody!
The title is simple and the subject matter is simple: I’m bloated, physically. Mentally I feel pretty solid. The gym helps with that. My physical health helps with that. My friendships and family relationships help with that.
But today is just a fun blog. I shovel-fed food into my mouth last night after training. Granted, I did train twice yesterday, but I shouldn’t have put so much food down my gullet. What did I eat? From 8 PM to 12 AM, I had: Shrimp pad thai, a pork chop (thick one), crackers and hummus (lots), a roast beef and fake gouda cheese sandwich, half a sleeve of salt and vinegar veggie chips, and I topped it all off with a giant bowl of Blueberry Chex.
I’m a pig, I get it.
So, yeah, I’m bloated. And I don’t have much else to say today. Sorry. Well, not really. I can’t always have something to say, right? Oh, I spar later this evening. Hopefully this bloat depletes over the next few hours.
Why did I just tell a bunch of strangers I’m bloated?
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody.
I wish I could type out more to you today but as the title states, I am in quite a few meetings today. Even right now I’m in one. Someone named Cathy is speaking and I’m just making sure I keep my eyes on my webcam while I type. If there’s typos, I can blame Cathy.
I’m in the final week of “Boot Camp” for my new company. So ready for it to be done. Like just right now I was asked a question and dominated it. And I’m typing to you lot. It’s like my buddy. He was put on the Top 100 in some sort of academic award but the professors don’t know he spent about 2,000+ hours gaming during his Masters program.
I just compared myself to that. That’s not accurate. I’m just answering basic questions. And I might be missing some information I’ll need later, but that’s later. Right now I need to write. I love to write. This is how I start my day (well, after my morning workouts now). I must keep my routine. If I break it, it must be my choice, not someone else’s.
Also, has anyone noticed how little I speak of depression and anxiety nowadays? It’s breathtaking. I’m not fixed. Never will be. There is no “fixed”, but I’m in a much better spot now. And just a few months ago I thought I’d take my own life at some point here soon. Now I could never imagine that. Life’s crazy, huh? Or maybe it’s just me. Either way, I’ll take it.
Oh, some news: I believe I’m fighting four times next month. You could see me drop off a bit from the blog but I promise you it’s for a good reason.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody.
Got a jumpstart this morning. Woke up two hours before work started to get a workout in, spend some time with the dogs, and get the right nutrition into my body.
My fight for June 12 was called off by the other coach. Bit of a bummer, a bit difficult to work up the motivation right now to keep training as hard as I have been, but I gotta keep going.
To keep going, I had to make a change. Enter morning workouts. Hopefully putting this into my routine helps with two things:
This morning I got weighted leg and hand shadow boxing in, a few good bag rounds, and some battle ropes in. Felt good. Real good.
Sometimes when things don’t go our way, we need to make a change. I hate waking up early to workout, but I know it enhances my day. And right now I need that. I can’t digress. Neither can you. Let’s keep pushing, everybody.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody.
Right now I’m wearing too many hats. I’m coaching a boxer for her first fight. I’m volunteering my time at a boxing club that’s been around for 43 years – needs complete remodel and renovation. I’m applying for federal grants for the boxing club considering they are are 501(c)3 organization, with the help of my Pops. Oh, I’m also at this new job, which means I’m in meetings from 9 AM – 5 PM every day. Add in my part-time gig of coaching at a local gym on Mondays and Tuesdays, and you can see how packed I am. Oh, add home-owning duties to the mix.
I shouldn’t be multi-tasking right now, but I do not have much of another option. To make sure I balance this and stay aware of how I’m holding up, I’ve decided to write it all out.
I will be OK. Things will slow down.
We are doing good things for the community. The tough work will pay off. Not for me, but for so many inner city kids. I’m excited about that. So very excited.
But the title says I need a break. I don’t think I do. I think I’ll take a break once we do all of these awesome things. That sounds like a good time for a break: After completion.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody.
And of course, Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms reading this post. You are very much appreciated in this world, even if you have a son like me who sometimes doesn’t show it the best.
But today isn’t about me. Mother’s Day is about my Ma. And always a good reminder that I do need to be a better son each and every day.
My mother is something special. I bitch and moan on here but her story is much more difficult than mine.
She lost her son, had a massive brain aneurysm, and had to deal with a drug addict son (me) for a long while.
But she never faltered. My Ma is the strongest person I know. I talk about my Pops on here a lot, but my Ma is the most resilient individual to ever grace this planet. I really believe that. She is… such a pure individual who gives and shows love to each and every single person she comes across.
I love my Ma. She doesn’t see these posts, but I plan on putting these words into action. Showing gratitude. It’s important we do that as sons and daughters — it’s one of the only ways we can ever “payback” our parents and/or parental figures.
Happy Mother’s Day, Ma. I love you. Maybe you’ll read this one day.
Get out there and hug your Ma and/or mother figure in your life. Show that gratitude.
I wish you the best. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
Hi, everybody.
Title is pretty self-explanatory. I’m at the vet. Both dogs getting juiced up with their yearly shots so I decided to write to you lot. Hopefully they’re drowsy the rest of the day, right? I could use a break from their energy.
So what’s on the agenda today? BOXING! And fixing up a boxing club that’s been in the community for 43 years. It’s a tremendous place run by one of the best men you could possibly meet. He’s run this club for FORTY THREE years. And it’s all been free for inner city kids to come box and compete out of there. You hear that? 43 years of service to community. All to help, not for money. Pretty damn cool.
Combat sports are cool. The community is even cooler. You would think we’re all jerks who want to beat everyone up, but it’s quite the opposite. Now put us in a ring with someone and yeah, we want to beat that person up. But I’ve never seen a more helpful and inclusive community than the boxing community here where I live.
I’m excited to go down there and paint some more, bullshit with the coaches, and give my boxers hell for messing up on the trim.
Today’s another busy day, but another good busy day. I’m excited for today. I hope you are, too. If you aren’t, think about volunteering some of your time. It’s never a wasteful act.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.
The Two Sides of Me 