30 & Bored

Hi, everyone.

You’ll most likely see “30” as a theme for a bit. Again, still a bit surreal to make it this far for me.

I’m bored as hell, man. I’m doing what I want to do, as you lot know, handling my boxing, my work, etc.., but something is missing. I rarely go out with friends anymore but I think that’s more due to my dislike of drinking nowadays. I can’t tell. Bottom line is I’m bored and it’s becoming a problem. It’s dripping into my head and telling me, “You suck, you should be doing something. What, are you going to just sit there and die? Doing nothing?” Yeah, the “dude” in my brain ain’t too nice sometimes.

Well, I think he’s wrong. Look at me, talking about myself like there’s two of me. This is normal, right? Nah, we all have that little bug. That bug telling us we aren’t enough. We aren’t doing enough. We’ll never being doing enough. But who’s to judge? I have a title fight to watch tonight and I’m excited to see if Devin Haney added power to his arsenal. That’s my Saturday night.

Tomorrow? Well, hopefully starting tomorrow off with sparring. THEN! Then I get to head to my best friend’s daughter’s first birthday party. No, I’m not excited about going to a kid’s birthday party, but I am pumped to see some friends.

So yeah, I’m 30 and bored as hell. Read more? Spend more time with my dogs? I really have no clue what to do. Travel? I’d love to. Problem? Money. Heh.

This blog is going nowhere. It’s time to relax, breathe, and relax and breathe again. Thinking about this shit doesn’t help. Writing isn’t helping for once. Weird.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

I AM THIRTY

Hi, everybody.

About damn time, right?! I can finally be done writing about turning 30 because, well, I turned 30 today.

What am I doing for my birthday? Sticking to my routine but sprinkling in some fantastic interactions with friends. Gym, work, quick coffee with a friend, work, boxing, coaching, and finish the night with some amazing Thai food. It’s nothing special, but sounds like a perfect day to me.

I am going to buy myself a plane ticket to visit a friend in the Northeast and that’ll be my gift to myself. Other than that, it’s just a normal day. I’m glad I didn’t build this day up – holidays, including birthdays, can be extremely stressful for those suffering from mental health issues. They are for me. But I controlled it this time by being aware. Being aware and at ease.

I’d never even think to be “aware and at ease” when I turned 20, actually I was a drug addict when I turned 20, so I think I’m trending upwards.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Last Day in My Twenties

Hi, everybody!

Yesterday was fantastic. The idea to have a “treat yo’self” dinner with a couple close friends for my birthday celebration was 100% the correct decision. Queen cut prime rib cooked a perfect medium rare, classic mashed potatoes, unique but delicious green beans, and a salad bar. I mean, I couldn’t ask for much else. Oh, also a nice bottle of Beaujolais, which happens to be my favorite red wine.

It really was perfect. We followed it up with a couple drinks at a bar right next door. The bartender there was… well, she was probably five shots deep by the time we entered the bar. It was an experience, that’s for sure.

Today is my last day in my twenties. Again, surreal. I’ve mentioned that plenty. But I’m excited for today. Why? It’s another day I’m here. Sounds corny but I’m fucking pumped I can say that nowadays. Look at this blog when it first started. I hated myself.

Now I’m starting to love myself again. And I’m heading into a whole new decade of learning, growth, etc., and I couldn’t be more excited about it.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Blogs For Days

Hi, everybody.

We’re at Day 33 now. Insane. Never thought we’d get this far on this streak.

To be fair, I’m not writing because of the streak anymore. Sadly I can’t prove that because again I’m waking up with no real thoughts to put to paper, but just thinking this shit out helps me every morning. I guess you could say it’s part of my routine now.

And I’m over 130 blogs now. I’m fuckin’ stoked about that.

It’s my 30th birthday weekend. I might, might not blog this weekend. I really don’t know. I’ve been quiet about it because it’s honestly scary for me to think about (never thought I’d make it this far – seems to be a theme) so I don’t have much planned. That means I should have time to write. But I don’t want to commit. So I’m not going to commit. That’s my birthday present to myself.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.