I AM THIRTY

Hi, everybody.

About damn time, right?! I can finally be done writing about turning 30 because, well, I turned 30 today.

What am I doing for my birthday? Sticking to my routine but sprinkling in some fantastic interactions with friends. Gym, work, quick coffee with a friend, work, boxing, coaching, and finish the night with some amazing Thai food. It’s nothing special, but sounds like a perfect day to me.

I am going to buy myself a plane ticket to visit a friend in the Northeast and that’ll be my gift to myself. Other than that, it’s just a normal day. I’m glad I didn’t build this day up – holidays, including birthdays, can be extremely stressful for those suffering from mental health issues. They are for me. But I controlled it this time by being aware. Being aware and at ease.

I’d never even think to be “aware and at ease” when I turned 20, actually I was a drug addict when I turned 20, so I think I’m trending upwards.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Brené Brown on Perfectionism

Hi, everybody!

I’m still on fire. This is like the 4th blog post in like 2-3 days. OOOOH, DOGGY.

I wanted to build off my last post regarding love and belonging, according to author Brené Brown and her book The Gifts of Imperfection. Today we will be discussing perfectionism. Something I’ve always struggled with but just didn’t know I struggled with it, well, at least till I read Brown’s work.

I’ve always bitched at my Pops for his perfectionism, but his perfectionism rests with material items. Putting a desk together the correct way, perfect lines while he mows, etc.. That’s not what it is for me.

Here’s what Brown has to say:

“Where perfectionism exists, shame is always lurking. In fact (opinion), shame is the birthplace of perfectionism.”

I’ve always stood ready to die on a hill that I am not a perfectionist. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. Maybe we all are to a certain extent as Brown stated in her book. Maybe she’s right. Maybe she’s wrong. But it’s worth a thought.

Brown goes on, “I think perfectionism exists along a continuum. We all have some perfectionist tendencies. For some, perfection may only emerge when they’re feeling particularly vulnerable. For others, perfectionism can be compulsive, chronic, debilitating, and similar to addiction.”

That rings true to me. Why? It’s something I struggle with on an hourly basis. I think every day needs to be perfect. Every action I make needs to be the perfect one. Yeah, it doesn’t translate to making sure all the paintings on my wall are completely straight, but it translates into something so much more important for me. And it can be destructive. Being aware of this empowers me.

Remember, no matter how lame it sounds, you are enough. Better than enough.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Being Vulnerable With A Purpose

Hi, everybody.

Over the past two days, I’ve opened up to quite a few new people in my life. Whether it was about where I’m at financially, in my love life, or how my mentals are doing, I’ve made sure to make myself vulnerable to people.

Why? Why the fuck would you do that, man? Sounds terrible.

It is terrible. At the start. Then the other person opens up. Then you listen. Then you have a friend. It’s a scary process, but a very simple process. We as humans tend to overcomplicate the simplest of things. Let’s stop doing that.

I wrote about “ordinary courage” last week. I’ve really been practicing it since then. It’s freeing. I’ve never been embarrassed (in my adult life) about my mental condition, my drug addiction, or any of the other “whoa” shit. However, I didn’t understand the importance of what I’ve went through and how it can positively impact others till I started this blog.

You, me, all of us battling through depression, anxiety, and all the other bullshit. Guess what? We’re fucking champions. And you’re a Champion of mental health. Get out there, speak with people, show that ordinary courage on a daily basis. I can almost guarantee you make a friend or two. And if not, I bet there’s something you do to help others, and really that’s all that matters here.

We’re all in this together, folks. Whether your struggles are mental or physical, we all struggle. Every. Single. One. Of. Us. Get out there and help the fellow strugglers (there’s plenty to choose from). You’ll be surprised on how much you really do have to offer.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.