Tag: writing

Start of Fight Week

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 5 Comments

Hi, everybody.

My mental health might be a bit scattered this week. I mean, it usually is anyway, but I do take fight week very seriously. Always have. Actually, even though I’ve only had seven fights, I can comfortably say that I’ve done my best “thinking” during fight weeks. You really have to ask a lot of yourself. And after my final sparring rounds this morning, it’s time to ask those questions.

First thing you have to ask is, is this worth it?

The answer is always yes. At least for me.

Second thing you have to ask is, do you have enough discipline to stay focused and maintain weight?

The answer is always yes. At least for me.

But it’s been five years since my last fight. That one ended regrettably, with a split decision going in the other guy’s favor. He won the fight, probably, but I stopped fighting then. Kinda gave up after a few decisions didn’t go my way in other fights. I had enough of letting the judges tell me I didn’t do enough even when I had the other fighters telling me I did more than them. Or the other coaches. Whatever. I’m not bitter, right? Ha.

But that’s not an issue for me anymore. Even though I just brought it up, I really don’t pay it any mind anymore. Now that I’m a bit older, I’ve realized the only thing that matters is the effort I put into the gym and into my sparring sessions. It’s like Connor Benn says: “You know what I’ve been doing? Crushing it in the gym.”, but he says it in a super cool British accent that I do not posses. Although I’m four to five pounds over the weight limit for my class (middleweight), that’s nothing to worry about. A bit of jogging and a bit of sauna time will clear that water weight right out. Also, fully clean eating will help quite a bit.

I’m ready.

Also, fair warning, this will probably end up being the topic of the week. Hell, I might even talk about how I think each round will go, if it goes past the first round. I’m super pumped, you all. So very excited. The work I’ve put in will have an end result–then I go pro early next year.

It’s true and I’m noticing it now. I’m not saying “if you try hard enough, you can do anything”–I think that’s bullshit. BUT, within reason, yes, you can do anything. Look at me. I blog to a bunch of people every single day and fight people at night. Does it make sense? No. Does it have to make sense? No.

Let’s do this thing.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Saturday Singer Quotes

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

That title feels dirty. Alliteration is meh anymore, isn’t it?

OK. Let us get into it! QUOTE DAY, BABY! I’ll be pulling from the book I’ve written about a few times this week. Once again, that book is titled The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer (get the title of the blog post now?).

You have to break the habit of thinking that the solution to your problems is to rearrange things outside.

That one really hits home.

You’re not even a human being. You just happen to be watching one.

Weird, right? Kinda true, kinda not. The idea of it is true, but… yeah, I think you get it. Funky. I like it.

Just as everything that happens outside in the physical world requires energy, everything that happens inside requires an expenditure of energy.

This is so very true for me. I don’t know about you. I could run a few miles, swim a bit, play some tennis, box a bit, and do it all on an empty stomach. However, if I have to battle something within me? Pfft, I’m tired after the first swing. It sounds like I need some balancing.

OK, last one. Bit longer.

…Learn to stay open no matter what happens. If you do, you get for free what everybody else is struggling for: love, enthusiasm, excitement, and energy. You simply realize that defining what you need in order to stay open actually ends up limiting you. If you make lists of how the world must be for you to open, you have limited your openness to those conditions. Better to be open no matter what.

It’s a good book. A really good book.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Me

Cheated!

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 3 Comments

Hi, everybody.

So this morning I sweat through my polo. Why? Well, I had to give a product demonstration to the whole company. And guess what? It was in front of 200 people and I was up against four tenured sales representatives for the company.

I came in second. Losing by two votes.

BUT THERE’S A CATCH.

The winner pre-recorded their demonstration! I went live and direct with mine. There has to be some bonus points for going live, right? I think so. Don’t you? DON’T YOU?

I had fun doing it. It honestly benefited me because now I know if I can impress 200 people within my company who designed our software, I can most likely impress your average prospect.

I do want to circle back to the first part of this blog. Sweating through my shirt. Man, it felt good to be nervous again. There’s something about it that just makes you feel alive (although sometimes you can be so nervous you wish you were miraculously dead). I am glad I took on this challenge. And look! It prevented another “quote day” (don’t worry, I have some absolute bangers for you tomorrow from this book I’m reading).

As for what else is going on in my day? Not much besides… PREMIER LEAGUE STARTS BACK UP, BABY! COYG!

It’s an exciting day, but I must remember to challenge myself when I get content like this. Yes, it’s a good day right now, but will it be in a couple of hours? That’s not for me to worry about right now–let’s get that straight–but I must make sure to remember these words when those couple hours pass.

Again, thank you so much for reading my babbling. You lot are something else. Always pouring in tremendous support to a stranger like me–it’s greatly appreciated.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Busy, Busy Morning

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 4 Comments

Hi, everybody.

I’ve mentioned a few times this week that I’ve been in a slump. I mean, what’s new, right? I probably tell you lot that I’m in a slump every other blog post. Shit. I probably do. Maybe I’m not in a slump. Maybe I’m just a victim of the moment, or make myself out to be.

See, writing is cool, isn’t it?

Well today I woke up late. On purpose. We’re… 9 or 10 days away from my first boxing match in five years so let’s just say my body is a bit overtrained right now. Well, a lot overtrained. Let’s be honest. Multiple miles of running a day mixed with sprints, add some sparring, add some weightlifting, oh then do some more sprints. It’s tough, but it’s worth it.

This morning I started off with mowing my lawn instead of running. Don’t worry, I ran in between mowing the front yard and the back. Then I sprinkled in some sprints. Then I finished the backyard. Now I’m about to head to lunch with my Ma, then a jam-packed afternoon of meetings.

Fun stuff, right?

It is. I may find myself in mental slumps, but the physical activities I do that pass through me with ease keep me going. It may sound stupid, but sometimes I think we spend too much time battling with our own mind and not letting enough stuff pass through us. Taking moment by moment instead of yesterday’s moment all the way into today. Refresh. Recharge. Move past that shit. Take on what’s next in your life and never stop observing how you handle each and every moment. Actually, scratch that. Just let those moments pass through you. You’ll find yourself less stressed, I promise.

Well, another day another blog about nothing really. I hope my readers are still enjoying what I’m writing. I know I mentioned I’d like to move to a weekly blog post schedule, but this is now part of my routine. I’m sure I’ll break from it at some point… but not quite yet.

Time to go eat some steak and shrimp with my Ma.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Midday Exhaustion

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

Well, it’s around 12:30 PM CT and guess what? I’m tired. I don’t know if I have trained my body to take a nap at this point of the day or if I’m just extremely bored and tired of what I do, but either way… here I am. In just the other room rests my bed. I can’t wait to see that sucker in a second.

But I didn’t want to jump into a nap before I discussed how this exhaustion makes me feel. Honestly, it feels like a limitation I can’t seem to get past. Maybe it’s a way to make my days go by faster. Maybe I need something new and exciting in my life. Or, maybe, just maybe, I need to stop thinking so deeply on something that could be looked as as so simple.

Maybe.

But why do I feel this exhaustion so consistently? I wake up in the morning and get my body going through a nice run, some sprints, and a dog walk. I always eat something healthy for breakfast. And yes, I do drink one cup of a coffee/cold brew a day. I think I have good habits in the morning.

As for night time, well, other things can be said about that. I’ll admit it, I don’t go to bed at a decent time, but honestly I’m just trying to wait out of the next day. Why? Well, I know it’s probably going to be similar to what I’ve just experienced in that previous 12-16 hours of consciousness.

Things seem bleak here, but they’re not. I’m just asking myself questions as I always do on this blog. If you have answers or advice to any of these questions, feel free to share. But again, this blog is made for me to work through personal issues and professional issues. It’s not made to help you feel better. Shit, it’s not even made to make me feel better. It’s here to help process information. That’s it. And so far it’s doing a great job at that.

Now let me lie down and take a nap, not process any information, then get back to my day. I do hope to find a way to keep my mind and body full of energy throughout an entire day, but I’m sure it will take time. This whole life thing is a journey and even though sometimes each day feels the same, we must acknowledge that they aren’t the same. Not even in the slightest. We feel different things every day. We respond differently every day. Our energy levels vary every single new day.

See? This blog is about processing. And it does a fine job at that. Thank you for reading.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Lacking Meditation

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

So as I mentioned a couple blog posts ago, I’m reading a book titled The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer. It’s been quite a ride so far and hell, I’m not even close to done with the book. It’s one of those books, well at least for me, that I need to put down after reading a chapter or two. It’s some heavy-hitting stuff, I’m telling ya. Also, he does a good job of not bullshitting you. That’s nice to read from a “self-help” type of book.

OK, I’m getting slightly off topic.

The author challenges the reader back into meditation (or for those who currently practice, he further enforces the validity of it). I’ve done a terrible job over the summer meditating. In fact, I think I’ve only done it once or twice over the past four or five months. That’s terrible. But I can change that.

As the author says, “Be the answer, and everything will change.”

That’s some powerful shit. And it’s true. When you ask “Who am I?” there’s no logical response. Singer talks about that. There is no “intellectual answer” as he states. Instead, it’s very simple and clear: “You are the answer.”

So when I talk about making changes in my life, I need to take these words to heart. Meditation is healthy for me and I’ve let it slip away. That’s not anyone’s fault but my own. I owe it to myself to get back into a meditative state from time to time–and I’ll start that tomorrow morning.

I’m excited that I am the answer. Are you excited that you are the answer, too? It’s kind of liberating.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Searching for Something New

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

As usual, I’m midday and lost. However, I think I may have a slight sense of direction from an email I just received.

I’m being moved forward in an interview process for a non-profit. I highly doubt I get the position, but it’s nice to be looked at and considered for the position. But why? Why am I looking for a job when I just started a new job back in April?

Well, to be quite honest with you lot, I’m dying doing what I’m currently doing. I dread my late nights because I have to wake up and do my job all over again the next day. It’s not a good feeling–especially when all you want to do is quit your job but you have a mortgage to pay. It sucks, really. I don’t have any passion towards what I’m doing anymore. I used to love sales, now I’m… well, already burned out? No, I’m just not working for the right company. Not working towards the right goals.

So I’ve adjusted. I understand that the non-profits I apply for won’t be as much money as what I’m currently making, but doesn’t passion count for something? Doesn’t wanting to wake up to actually do your job count for much more than an extra 10-20 thousand a year? I think it does. Who knows, maybe it doesn’t, but right now… I need something different. Something with purpose. And I think I’m on the right track for that something new in my life.

It’s exciting. It’s scary. I’ll keep you posted.

I wish you the best. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Celebrating Others

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody!

Gooooood morning!

It actually is a good morning. Last night I had a great time with a friend and we followed it up with a drive through a torrential downpour. It was pretty awesome. Downtown is flooded but… it still looked and felt pretty dang cool. (I hope everyone is alright downtown, of course.)

But last night at dinner I found some trouble within myself. I noticed I wasn’t truly embracing and relishing in my friend’s recent successes. Instead, I was thinking if I did anything about as cool/even better. What kind of dick thinks that way?

A lot of us do. And a lot of us need to change that. It all comes down to being an active listener. That whole idea of listening to listen, not to respond. You don’t always have to have something to say back—sometimes a nod is better than breaking off into your own tangent.

Think about it, though. If you give others your undivided attention and just purely listen, there’s a good chance they notice that and do the same for you when you want to share successes or even failures.

Become an active listener. I have said it since my last breakup and I am still working on it daily. I think it’s something we should all work on. Don’t you?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

If You’re Like Me, Read This

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

A friend who shares somewhat similar struggles as me recommended a book recently. Usually I say “OK, I’ll read it” and never follow through.

Well, it helps your recommendation to be read if I’m attracted to you. And that’s the case here. But boy, am I glad I listened to her and my attraction.

What’s this book? Published in 2007, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer, provides a gut punch to your inner self. The battle between outer vs. inner. You know, a lot of what this blog is about. At least that’s what I’ve read so far.

Pick the book up if you want to. I’m three chapters in and it’s already caught my eye. Enough so where I’m recommending it this early. Hell, the book could be absolutely terrible by the end of it all. But if you pick it up, at least read through chapter three.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Feels Like A Quote Day, Yeah?

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

It’s Friday. It’s quote day. Let’s do this!

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

George Bernhard Shaw

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.

Mary Engelbreit

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.

Viktor Frankl

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.

Stephen Covey

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Me