Tag: vacation

Off To Florida! Routine Threatened?

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody!

Tomorrow I head to Florida. Family trip. Pretty pumped, don’t get to do this too often. Won’t have my computer but I’ll try to post from my phone if I think about it.

And yes, I promise, I am pretty pumped. Am I a bit worried? Not really, but kind of. I’m leaving my routine for a week, which is going to be a bit odd. Now, my routine does shift throughout the week, but the meat of it stays the same. This next week, everything will change. I’ll be around my parents often, which is always a challenge for me. It’s nothing to do with them. It’s everything to do with me. I need to stay aware of that while I’m gone.

But I always tell you lot we can’t spend our time worrying. We can’t focus on just the negatives. We can’t. We’ll go mad. We’ll have to start a blog just to keep our head above water… oh, wait.

The positives? Plenty. You want to know what I can’t wait to do? Jump rope in beautiful weather with water around me. Run in the sand. Shadow box in the sand. Try new training exercises with natural resistance.

“BUT IT’S A VACATION!”

Exactly. That means I can do what I want with my own time (which should really happen all the time, not just vacation). Right now, what makes me happiest is training myself both physically and mentally. I plan to continue to do that while I’m on vacation. Looks like the meat of the routine isn’t threatened whatsoever.

It took writing to understand that. Ain’t that beautiful? I had a question to start with and through writing, I was able to figure out an answer. Fuck, I love this shit. It’s amazing what we can do ourselves even when we’re worried, scared, in fear. Trust yourself.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Long Weekends

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Here we go again.

I do well right now with a lot of structure. This weekend lacks structure. I’m freaking out a bit.

Labor Day weekend, a four to five day span where people get together & grill, laugh, etc. Usually I’d be all up for that, but this year it’s a bit different for me. I do have a couple minor things planned this weekend, like a Fantasy Football draft (totally forgot football existed… need to do research or I’m just throwing away $100) & some family time on a lake. Those two moments sound great, & I’m looking forward to them. The only problem? The time in between those moments. There’s too much time in between those moments.

As for my anxiety & depression check-in, it’s not going according to plan. I seem to bounce back ever so slightly, then poof, I’m right back in the shit. Can’t really pin down what’s the issue anymore. It’s really starting to be frustrating each & every morning I wake up. Again, if you have any tips, please advise.

You know, I could fill my time with other stuff this weekend. I’m studying for the GRE, a prerequisite test to get into an MBA program. I could bring my dogs to the dog park, but the older one tends to hurt herself within 15 minutes of playtime. I could also spend time finishing up the outside of the house, which is somewhat in the plans, so I can get ready to sell it at the end of this month.

All of those things sound great. Will I do them? Who knows. Life is seriously so predictable & unpredictable at the same time right now. Weird, right? I need change.

Change comes in a week’s time. Off to Maine for a week. Am I worried about the lack of structure I have set for that week? Yes, but I think I’ll do just fine. I better do just fine, hopefully a bit better than “just fine”.

Thank you for being my soundboard. Never seen a soundboard but I think I used the phrase correctly. As you can tell, I’m quite indecisive in life & it’s taking a toll on me.

I am somewhat happy, really, I am. I have a lot to be grateful for. A whole lot. However, something in my mind isn’t letting me embrace it all. That damn depression & anxiety. I’ll beat them someday. I will.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.