Not Selling, but I Am Helping

Hi, everybody.

I’m not worried about streaks anymore. It’s so freeing, honestly. I thought writing every day was helping me, and it was, but not writing every day is helping me, too. Weird, right?

OK, so what to write about today? WORK! So you lot know I’m in sales if you’ve read 2-3 of my blog posts. If you’ve read any job-related posts over the past month or two, you know I’m struggling.

But I’ve found a loophole to not be attacked by management (even though they somehow love me and the VP said last week, “You are exactly what we need in our sales reps.”). It confused the hell out of me. But the loophole isn’t really a loophole. It’s something I wish I could actually get paid for – helping people. I’ve spent a good amount of my last week training and onboarding new employees along with helping others with their deals. Yes, it doesn’t put money in my bank account but it keeps my job secure and I’m helping people. That’s cool. I enjoy that.

It goes to show that if you are struggling in one area, most likely you’ll exceed expectations in another. Keep that in mind. But I really need a deal to close this week. Cross your fingers for me, please? Thanks.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Constant Meetings

Hi, everybody.

I wish I could type out more to you today but as the title states, I am in quite a few meetings today. Even right now I’m in one. Someone named Cathy is speaking and I’m just making sure I keep my eyes on my webcam while I type. If there’s typos, I can blame Cathy.

I’m in the final week of “Boot Camp” for my new company. So ready for it to be done. Like just right now I was asked a question and dominated it. And I’m typing to you lot. It’s like my buddy. He was put on the Top 100 in some sort of academic award but the professors don’t know he spent about 2,000+ hours gaming during his Masters program.

I just compared myself to that. That’s not accurate. I’m just answering basic questions. And I might be missing some information I’ll need later, but that’s later. Right now I need to write. I love to write. This is how I start my day (well, after my morning workouts now). I must keep my routine. If I break it, it must be my choice, not someone else’s.

Also, has anyone noticed how little I speak of depression and anxiety nowadays? It’s breathtaking. I’m not fixed. Never will be. There is no “fixed”, but I’m in a much better spot now. And just a few months ago I thought I’d take my own life at some point here soon. Now I could never imagine that. Life’s crazy, huh? Or maybe it’s just me. Either way, I’ll take it.

Oh, some news: I believe I’m fighting four times next month. You could see me drop off a bit from the blog but I promise you it’s for a good reason.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.