Tag: time

Negotiation Talks & Ma’s Birthday

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

It’s been a few days since I’ve written to you. My apologies. Honestly I have thought about it–I just didn’t have anything to write about. I’ve missed you. Welcome back.

OK! So some big news coming from my camp. I’m accepting a new job this week at a massive company and I’m super thrilled about it. The company I’m at right now is a dead end and lied to me during the interview process, so… yeah, I’m happy. ECSTATIC.

But that’s not the best part of the day. It’s my Ma’s birthday! We did a brunch yesterday since today is a Monday, but after coaching I’ll make sure to drop by her house and say hello. Give her a big hug and tell her I love her. She’s a great mom. The best.

And last thing to update you on: I fight this weekend! In Iowa! I don’t know why I’m yelling! But yes, I’m boxing again this weekend. I have a few pounds to cut so I’m limiting what I eat and wearing trash bags all week (sauna suits) to make sure I come in at weight. Wish me luck.

But yeah, things are exciting right now. In about 40 minutes I have to sit down with my soon-to-be new boss and negotiate my starting wage. I’ve never successfully done that before but this time I hope will be different. I’m more confident in what I bring to the table. I’m more confident in myself and in my life. I hope you are, too. You deserve to be confident.

My anxiety? Depression? All still there. Oh don’t you worry, that shit never goes away. But I let it pass through me much easier now. I constantly remind myself to let things pass through me and not to fight with the negative emotions I have throughout the day. It helps. Just let it go through you–don’t wear yourself down by fighting your own emotions.

Phew, I blacked out writing that. I don’t think I’ll go back and edit. You get what you get, right?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MA!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

The Importance of Routine (For Me)

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

I write about routine quite often, but it’s really important to me. So here I go again, writing about it. Do I routinely write about routine?

My routine does vary. I promise you. I don’t do the same exact shit every single day, but I do make sure to knock a few things off my list each and every day. What does this do for me? Well, it tells me that I’m still on track. That I’m not losing my shit and I’m not a piece of shit. It reminds me of the progress I make throughout the day. It reminds me, even when I’m down and out, that I can get shit done.

It may be a small part of life but I truly think it’s important one. Now, a routine isn’t for everyone. I’ve known plenty people in the past that a routine does the exact opposite for them. It stresses them out. Makes them feel boxed in. All that jazz. For me, it’s different.

So, what do I make sure to include in my daily routine?

  • Blog (even if I don’t have much to write about… as you’ve seen)
  • Dog walk (sometimes 2x, sometimes 3x)
  • Workout and/or coaching (sometimes light, most of the time heavy)
  • SOMETHING for breakfast (yogurt, toast, or a full-blown American breakfast)
  • 5-10 Minutes at night to sit with my dogs and just breathe

Now there’s plenty else involved. Sometimes I do a bit of graphic design. As you all know, I do hold a full-time job, too, so that’s included in the routine.

But it’s very important for me. I don’t know if you lot are mostly routine people or not, but if you are, make sure you understand the real significance in having that routine. You aren’t just “going through the motions”, you’re doing part of what makes you, you.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Quote Day? Quote Day.

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody!

I’m swamped (in a good way) today so my apologies but I must only leave you with a few really, really good quotes. More effort will be applied later this week! Let’s begin.

As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.

David Sedaris, Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls

Maintain that motivation to go from A to B and to keep your focus on that target without any weakening. That is called tenacity; stamina in your motivation.

Arsene Wenger

You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.

Brené Brown

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Finding Time for Myself

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

Here I am, again, struggling to find time. Struggling to achieve anything outside of what others want from me. This weekend I have a surprise 30th birthday party, training, mandatory landscaping work, a date, and somehow I need to get my week ready for work next week.

It’s becoming a bit too much. I’m drowning. I’m waking up disappointed, defeated. I go to bed later because I don’t want the responsibilities of the next day to fall on me.

Is this being an adult? Having a calendar and literally just making sure I’m going to everything I’ve lent a commitment to (purposefully or forced)? It can’t be. I want to travel. I want to get out and do more things for myself. I want to be selfish right now before this becomes a problem and drops me back to where I was.

Sadly, I don’t know how to do that. Telling people “no” isn’t my thing. Also, I use a lot of my time to help others, whether it’s resumes or boxing, so without me around, where do they go?

Anyway, sorry for bitching. I’m struggling again. This upcoming weekend isn’t exciting for me, it’s just more work.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Do What You Want

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 1 Comment

Hi, everybody!

I think I’ve mentioned this in recent posts but if you haven’t read those (shame on you), understand I turn 30 on Monday. I told everyone for the past year this didn’t bother me whatsoever. I thought I was telling the truth. But turning 30 is surreal to me. I know it sounds cliché but I thought I’d be dead by now.

I’m happy I’m not dead. I’m happy I’m turning 30. So I guess it doesn’t “bother” me, it just freaks me out. Doesn’t seem real. Feels like I’m living on borrowed time–but I’ll take it.

Now you may be asking yourself, “Why is this titled Do What You Want if he hasn’t even mentioned it yet. I mean, he’s three line breaks in already. Is he ever going to get to the point?”

I tell you lot all the time: I just sit down and type. I originally wanted to tell you not to freak out about big birthday celebrations due to societal norms, but my mind went other ways. I will get to that point now, though. Umm… don’t freak out about big birthday celebrations due to societal norms. I freaked out for a bit then realized I would rather spend my time with a couple really good friends at a nice steakhouse. So that’s what I’m doing.

Do what you want. Always do what you want… well, unless it’s hurting others. If it isn’t, go for it.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Constant Meetings

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

I wish I could type out more to you today but as the title states, I am in quite a few meetings today. Even right now I’m in one. Someone named Cathy is speaking and I’m just making sure I keep my eyes on my webcam while I type. If there’s typos, I can blame Cathy.

I’m in the final week of “Boot Camp” for my new company. So ready for it to be done. Like just right now I was asked a question and dominated it. And I’m typing to you lot. It’s like my buddy. He was put on the Top 100 in some sort of academic award but the professors don’t know he spent about 2,000+ hours gaming during his Masters program.

I just compared myself to that. That’s not accurate. I’m just answering basic questions. And I might be missing some information I’ll need later, but that’s later. Right now I need to write. I love to write. This is how I start my day (well, after my morning workouts now). I must keep my routine. If I break it, it must be my choice, not someone else’s.

Also, has anyone noticed how little I speak of depression and anxiety nowadays? It’s breathtaking. I’m not fixed. Never will be. There is no “fixed”, but I’m in a much better spot now. And just a few months ago I thought I’d take my own life at some point here soon. Now I could never imagine that. Life’s crazy, huh? Or maybe it’s just me. Either way, I’ll take it.

Oh, some news: I believe I’m fighting four times next month. You could see me drop off a bit from the blog but I promise you it’s for a good reason.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Waiting at Vet

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

Title is pretty self-explanatory. I’m at the vet. Both dogs getting juiced up with their yearly shots so I decided to write to you lot. Hopefully they’re drowsy the rest of the day, right? I could use a break from their energy.

So what’s on the agenda today? BOXING! And fixing up a boxing club that’s been in the community for 43 years. It’s a tremendous place run by one of the best men you could possibly meet. He’s run this club for FORTY THREE years. And it’s all been free for inner city kids to come box and compete out of there. You hear that? 43 years of service to community. All to help, not for money. Pretty damn cool.

Combat sports are cool. The community is even cooler. You would think we’re all jerks who want to beat everyone up, but it’s quite the opposite. Now put us in a ring with someone and yeah, we want to beat that person up. But I’ve never seen a more helpful and inclusive community than the boxing community here where I live.

I’m excited to go down there and paint some more, bullshit with the coaches, and give my boxers hell for messing up on the trim.

Today’s another busy day, but another good busy day. I’m excited for today. I hope you are, too. If you aren’t, think about volunteering some of your time. It’s never a wasteful act.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Overextension

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody!

Hope everyone is doing great today. I am. Had six fantastic sparring rounds with an old boxing mate from years back. He’s a bit heavier but still quick with his hands.

Let’s talk about today’s topic: Overextension. What do I mean by that? Well, if you look at my life, you’ll see it as a glaringly obvious weakness of mine. The amount I double-book myself is unreal. The amount of times “yes” comes out of my mouth is far too many.

My very best friend told me that givers will always give and takers will always take, so if you’re a giver, make sure to learn to say no. I’m working on that now. Hopefully writing it into existence helps that effort.

Learn to say no, even if you think you do have the time. Sometimes you need to recharge. I know I do.

But I have to train the boxers tomorrow and go on a hike. So… maybe start this whole “me time” thing next week?

We’ll see.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Tough Question To Answer

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everyone!

Busy days are the best days, most of the time. The only reason I remembered to write this blog is due to me telling Siri to remind me in the morning. I’m an hour and a half late to writing this blog, that’s how I know I’m busy.

And it feels good.

Interviews, sales calls, boxing lessons, mentoring, dog walks, stupid video games, grocery shopping, getting the house in order, and all the rest of my daily duties are really kicking my ass–in a good way.

Are you doing enough with your time? That’s a tough question to answer. There is no counter to determine if you’re using your time the best way you can. There is no right or wrong here. However, I do recommend asking yourself that question from time to time–it might remind you to write a blog post or something ;).

People, I’m doing much better. It feels good. I don’t give a fuck if I’m bragging here. I’m doing much better. And it’s because of you and you and you and you and you and everyone else. Thank you for reading. I hope you’re doing better each and every day. This is a fucking marathon, not a sprint. Remember that, stay in the moment, keep pushing, and hopefully you come out the other side just a wee bit better the next day.

What the hell did I even write about?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.