Quick update for you. I am not dying on this trip. I’m not losing my mind like I did on my last vacation. I’m actually doing quite well.
So what’s changed? I talk about it often but I really believe it comes down to awareness. Self-awareness specifically. I knew coming here I’d be sleeping in a new environment, that my mind might push me to a state of loneliness, that being without boxing might throw me in a hole.
Well, it did. But I knew it would and I proactively made some adjustments. New environment? I made sure to bring some stuff to help me sleep BUT I also told myself I’d be more involved/social with my coworkers here, and that helped me integrate a bit better into this new place (yes, I know, I leave in like a day or two, it’s not a big deal… but it is for me).
Loneliness always sets in for me in a hotel room late at night when I’m by myself. But this time I didn’t let it happen. I knew where my mind would go (and it did go there) and I fought that shit away. I did that. I did that by myself. And if you can’t tell, I’m proud of that shit.
And the boxing. I knew this would be an issue for me. Boxing isn’t just a sport for me, it’s therapy. I took action. I Googled for boxing gyms near me and guess what? I found a decent one. Well, not really, but it was enough. I threw my headphones in and went at the bags, hit a few shadow boxing rounds, and tried to not step on any toes. It was worth it. I left feeling recharged.
So what am I talking about here? “Oh, I’m doing so great”. – No. The real thing to take away from this blog is that simple “control the controllable”. And there’s a lot more we can control than we give ourselves credit for.
Whatever you fear today, whatever you’re hesitant about, whatever is holding you back–think about what you can control and focus on that. You can’t do shit about anything else. You’ll need to accept that like I’ve had to accept it.
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.