Lots Going On

Hi, everybody.

How often do I write here now? Every two weeks? Three? I only write when I know I need it. Right now, I do.

Tomorrow I have a boxing match. This one is weird. I’m not engaged. I’m not excited. I just want to get it over with. Maybe I’m sick of competing? Maybe. Or maybe I just have too much stuff going on.

My full-time job is great, it really is. It’s a lot of work, but I’m valued and the pay shows it. Finally. But everything else in life? I don’t feel like I’m getting the value out of it. The NFT stuff, the coaching, and even at times my relationship. It feels like I give a lot of myself and don’t have much of myself by the end of the day. Does anyone else run into that problem?

Also, I feel like I’m running in circles chasing my own tail nowadays. I mean, not every day is the same day, but every day is filled with tasks from about 9 AM to midnight. It’s not healthy – and this goes for weekends, too. I haven’t been able to keep up with any news, watch any of my favorite sports teams, or really see much of my friends. I need help, but I’m stuck with these responsibilities and obligations. These commitments. My pops always told me commitments are important and it’s stuck with me. I don’t want to let anyone down, ever. I’ve done that so often throughout my life and it’s something I just don’t want to do again – especially if I can have control over it.

All that said, the audience I know is screaming “BALANCE, BALANCE!”, and believe me, I’m trying. Each day I wake up I tell myself I’m not going to give into this, I’m not going to do that, but my mind plagues me with “You’re a piece of shit if you don’t do what you told yourself you would do.”

Example? I want to take a nap right now but in my Siri reminders I had “Blog”. What am I doing now? Blogging. What will I be doing after blogging? Getting my laundry done. Will I nap? Probably not.

But maybe if I stop writing, especially now that I’ve been able to muster this aggression out of me and into an outlet like this, maybe I can take that nap. And guess what, I’m going to go do that now.

I wish you the best. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Snowed Under (Literally)

Hi, everybody.

I guess it’s time for a quick update. Seriously, I need to keep this quick. I have a LOT of shit I need to get done – somehow, someway.

So the title. That’s what this whole thing is about. If you’ve been following me on this blog, you know I closed on a house this week. Wait, did I tell you lot that? Well, I told you I was planning on closing on a house this week… I think I said that last week.

Fuck, I’m confusing myself right now. I can’t imagine how confused you are.

Anyway, Monday morning I closed on a beautiful house. My new home. Sunday night through Monday night, we got ten inches of snow. Found out I have a super long driveway. Awesome. I literally got a quadrant of the driveway done last night after my job & my boxing coaching & my workout. A quadrant – it took me an hour, maybe longer. Yuck.

Tonight I’ll spend another hour heaving snow & trying to use my legs to do so, but at a certain point it will be all lower back, & as I get closer to 30, that lower back gets a little bit less trustworthy.

But let’s dial back the negativity & find the positive here. It’s quite simple, really. At some point, no matter how overwhelmed or “snowed under” I am, I will finally have a house. A place I can call home. I’m excited.

Anyone know where I can find a cheap snowblower?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.