Endless Contemplation

Hi, everybody.

It’s a chill day. Started it off with some coffee and sparring–now it’s time to sit in my sweatpants and relax. Well, until a birthday dinner later tonight, but that will be quick. Then right back to sweatpants and relaxing!

OK, “Endless Contemplation”, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of days. It’s funny because it’s thinking about thinking… if you think about it. OK, sorry, I’m done.

But I have been thinking a lot. Like more than usual. After my last fight, I don’t quite know the direction I should take. My coach is pushing me out even further from a pro debut and I don’t have too much time. I mean, I’m 30. I just want to take a couple pro fights for fun. I’m not looking to make a career out of it. Let me fight.

So yeah, I’m thinking about that. I’ve also gotten back into the trenches of thinking I’m not in the right location. I hate when I get like this, honestly. Do I really think moving would change things for me? It has in the past, but I always end up right back here. So what should I do? Stop thinking about moving.

Oh, and I can’t stop thinking about work. How I can be better. What I’m doing wrong. Do I even want to keep doing what I’m doing.

Endless thoughts. Endless contemplation.

But I look down at my dog (the younger one) and I realize sometimes it just doesn’t matter. Why don’t I let this pass through me and enjoy my time right here, right now? I could stop writing and start cuddling with this doggo.

And guess what. That’s where this blog ends. Right when the issue is resolved (for now).

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

House in Order

Hi, everybody.

If you’ve kept with me over these past nine or so months I’ve been blogging, you probably noticed my life has been an utter mess for… well, over nine months. Well, it’s starting to come together. Wanna know how I know? Things are slowing down for me. The work isn’t slowing down, but my worries and insecurities have shed from me. It’s a good feeling to have.

How did I get to this point? Shit, I don’t know. I think it was just perseverance and putting the right people around me at the right times. Or it was just simply life playing itself out. I try not to think about it too much. I’m just happy I made progress.

So what sparked this blog topic? My office is put together! New desk, my favorite bookcase, my grandma’s old plant stand, a hanging plant in the window, my mini basketball hoop (yeah so what if I’m almost 30), and a yoga mat + roller. I’m very happy in this room. I’m very happy in this house. You could say… my house is in order.

I’m sorry for that. That was so lame. But I got nothing else for you today. That’s where I’m leaving it. I’ll be better next time, maybe.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.