Pushing On

Hi, everybody!

Hope your morning is off to a great start. Mine is, now I await my 9 AM “Boot Camp” for my new job. Not pumped. It’s very repetitive.

I did have a slight meltdown yesterday. I had some issues with my mental health provider and their front desk. No, I wasn’t being a Karen, I promise. But I wasn’t happy. I almost fired my Psych & Therapist, but luckily they somewhat talked me out of it.

But this goes to show you that no matter how great you’re feeling, that lil’ bastard in the shape of depression, anxiety, or both can appear any time they feel it’s necessary.

Yes, I know we do have control. But I don’t believe we do all the time.

I fought through. Talked to the right people in my support system. Made sure to take care of myself through the sport of Boxing. Hell, I even got headshots done in the evening.

I pushed on, through, whatever you want to call it. I was aware and not at ease — now I’m aware and at ease. It’s a nice feeling. But more growth is necessary. And inevitable.

Push on, people.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Half Day By Surprise

Hi, everybody!

I woke up this morning with three extremely painful fingers, a weak right wrist, lower back pain, and immense shoulder tightness. Wasn’t thrilled. Age is a factor when it comes to training, also my recovery sessions aren’t nearly good enough.

Well, I’ve told you lot before sometimes things just happen for us. I thought today I would have to sit in front of this computer and just sit in this slightly uncomfortable pain all day, but my boss messaged me early this morning.

“Have a good weekend?”

Easily, yes. I did have a great weekend. Not even a question.

He followed with, “Boot camp starts tomorrow, how about you take a half day today?”

Easily, yes. My body thanks you.

Now I get it, this is pure coincidence. “This won’t happen for me.” I can hear you yelling back at me already.

But I bet it does happen for you. Maybe not in this exact way, but the world isn’t out to get you. You might be out to get yourself, but no, the world isn’t out to get you. People might be, but you have the power to change who you surround yourself with, what you surround yourself with, and putting yourself in the right circumstances for good things to happen for you.

That’s what I’ve spent the last six months doing. Putting myself in better places, better circumstances so good things do happen. I couldn’t keep getting stepped on. I couldn’t get kicked anymore. I had to fight back and I had to make changes. I’m happy I did. I’m happy I realized I do have enough strength to beat my depression and anxiety, even if it’s just for a few moments a day.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

What Day is Today?

Hi, everybody.

I feel like I’m still waking up. Hold up – let me take a sip of my coffee before I begin this bloggerooski.

OK, that was really good. Very good coffee. Dunkin’ Donuts really does not get the credit they deserve. Starbucks? Pfft. Scooters? Pfft. I do like Peet’s, though. A lot.

OK, what the hell are we talking about today? I guess the title leads me to how jumbled my mind is this morning. Also, my body is sore. As I’ve mentioned before, whenever I’m stressed it’s always beneficial for me to write. Is it beneficial for you to read what I write? Well, when you look at this blog and this blog alone, no. BUT maybe check out some of my past stuff. There’s quite a bit to choose from.

But really, what day is it?
Don’t worry. I know it is Tuesday.
Feels like a Wednesday. What does that even mean?

Told ya today the mind is jumbled. I think I just tried writing a haiku and failed on every level. Like, it’s not even close. I forget what makes up a haiku. It’s the structure of the poem, syllables, words, etc. if I remember correctly, but I’m not Googling it till after I publish this.

I swear I’m in a great mood today. Let’s just say my writing could use a little work. I need some ideas! I’m tired of talking about myself each and every time. If you have any ideas on where I could take this blog next, please let me know in the comments.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

EDIT: OK, I googled it:
hai·ku
1. Japanese poem of seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five, traditionally evoking images of the natural world.
– A poem in English written in the form of a haiku.

Yep, I got the lines of three thing right. That’s about it.

New Job, Quick Post

Hi, everybody!

I start the new gig today! Very excited. I wanted to write something out real quick before my first meeting starts (in nine minutes, dun dun dun).

I am excited for this challenged. Scared, but mostly excited. Let’s hope my dogs somewhat cooperate with me on my first day. The puppy is already asking for 20 things… let’s hope the new boss really loves dogs.

Welp, here goes nothing.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Quick But Sad (Maybe?) Thoughts

Hi, everybody!

I’ll make this quick. As I mentioned yesterday in my post (oh my gosh, you didn’t read it, did you? Don’t worry, I got you), I put in my two weeks at a company I’ve worked for over the past three years.

One thing I didn’t notice? Well, a lot of people care about me in this company. I’ve had such nice words come my way over these past 24 hours. It’s been really great. Also has me a bit in my feels. But you know what this tells me? I know I’m a good person, and it looks like others know it, too. Feels kinda good, not gonna lie. Especially with how much I’ve told myself that I’m shit over this past year.

I really do hope I’m able to hold on to some of these relationships as I move forward, but we all know how that ends up turning out. Luckily we have LinkedIn, IG, Twitter, texts, etc., to stay in touch. Shouldn’t be tough, right? It still is.

Anyway, not really sad thoughts after I’ve typed it out. Again, this is what’s wonderful about writing. You learn about yourself and work through struggles, naturally.

I wish you the best. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

I Did It

Hi, everybody.

Welp, I did it. You read that right. I officially put in my two-week resignation letter this morning with my boss. This is a company I’ve been at for three years and really helped me grow into the person I am today. I am very grateful for my time there.

However, I am so, so very excited to move on to a new challenge. My dearest friend told me a week or two back, “It seems like you’re the smartest guy at the table at the company and that’s never a good thing.”

He was right. It really hit home. It pushed me to take that final leap and trust in myself at a new company with a new challenge. A place where I will be the dumbest at the table again. Can’t fuckin’ wait. TEACH ME ALL THE THINGS!

I’ve been passively searching for a job for the past year. I’ve probably applied, no lie, at over 200 places. I’ve done, again no lie, over 100 interviews in the past year. Received a few offers but none felt right. I waited. I trusted my judgment. I asked others what they thought, the people I trust. My support system. Then things changed. I started actively hunting for a new job. Big difference. It was one of my main focuses, and guess what? It paid off. Literally and figuratively.

I wouldn’t have been able to take this leap if I didn’t believe in myself. I always tell you lot everything comes from you, and it’s true. But I wouldn’t be here today without the fantastic friends and family I have, the ones pushing me forward. None of their words and advice mean shit if I don’t look within myself and understand that everything, every decision, needs to be made by me when dealing with my own life. But again, a support system can’t go unnoticed. So thanks Pops, dear friend (you know who you are), and all the other people in my life that have no clue about this blog.

Oh, and thank you. You reading this blog has such a positive impact on me and my mental health, and I hope it does some of the same for you.

KEEP PUSHIN, BABY!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

The Waiting Game

Hi, everybody!

This past week was a whirlwind. A good one. I received one formal offer for a position I’m somewhat looking at, and I should receive an offer from a company today that I really, really want to work for. However, I’m having trouble playing the waiting game. Getting that offer is all that’s on my mind right now, so please, Gmail, show me “1 Unread Message” when I sign in next. I’m begging you.

But I do know patience is important. I understand I can’t ask for something right away because it convenciences me and solely me. That’s selfish. That’s what a company doesn’t want. That’s what a friend doesn’t want. That’s what all of us don’t want.

Let’s transition a bit. I don’t know if I’ve told you what I’ve been working on as an individual over the past month or so. Maybe I have. Most likely I have. But it doesn’t hurt to have a reminder.

Active listening.

I’m very good at active talking. I’m trying to become a better active listener. It’s a work in progress. But right now is a good reminder of it not because I need to listen to one of you, but I need to listen to the common sense inside me. The part of me that keeps me grounded. I need to listen to that side telling me “Hey, the offer will come. Just be patient, stupid.”

And I will listen.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Tough Question To Answer

Hi, everyone!

Busy days are the best days, most of the time. The only reason I remembered to write this blog is due to me telling Siri to remind me in the morning. I’m an hour and a half late to writing this blog, that’s how I know I’m busy.

And it feels good.

Interviews, sales calls, boxing lessons, mentoring, dog walks, stupid video games, grocery shopping, getting the house in order, and all the rest of my daily duties are really kicking my ass–in a good way.

Are you doing enough with your time? That’s a tough question to answer. There is no counter to determine if you’re using your time the best way you can. There is no right or wrong here. However, I do recommend asking yourself that question from time to time–it might remind you to write a blog post or something ;).

People, I’m doing much better. It feels good. I don’t give a fuck if I’m bragging here. I’m doing much better. And it’s because of you and you and you and you and you and everyone else. Thank you for reading. I hope you’re doing better each and every day. This is a fucking marathon, not a sprint. Remember that, stay in the moment, keep pushing, and hopefully you come out the other side just a wee bit better the next day.

What the hell did I even write about?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Don’t Have Much To Do, Figured I’d Write To You

Hi, everybody!

As we hit the holiday season, work slows down. Life slows down a bit. My Pops is now quarantined due to possible COVID exposure, so we’re just one … happy family living with each other 24/7. Should be a fun experiment.

Oh, that reminds me, I need a new damn house or a rental. Really, anything. I’ll take anything right now. I miss my independence, not having to pay attention to how loud I’m being, & just overall having a bit more freedom. I can’t thank my parents enough for allowing me to stay at their place while I look for a new home.

So, slow days. What do you lot do on slow days? I’m thinking of doing some data-mining for work (thrilling), reading a book, & I really need to check if a soccer match is on today. Also, I have my second & third job to attend to later this afternoon. Someone’s a boxing coach again! Can ya guess who it is?

On slow days, I find it best mentally to not stress yourself out with the amount of time you have on your hands. Do what you want to do. Maybe set a couple goals for the day, but if you’re struggling mentally, don’t ram your head into a brick wall if you don’t get everything done. There’s always another slow day coming your way.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.