Tag: job

Put In My Two Weeks!

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody!

It happened! I negotiated the offer and got closer to what I wanted. You are looking at a guy with a new job! I start November 22nd and I couldn’t be happier/more intimidated right now. The more important is the former: I’m happy.

I also got to put in my two weeks at my current company. Gosh, that felt good. The stark contrast between both our facial expressions when it was mentioned was fantastic. My boss knows how much I help the team and it was like a dagger to his side to lose me. Sadly this isn’t his fault, but the company’s as to why I’m leaving. They don’t coach. They don’t enable. They don’t push you.

On to bigger and better things. MUCH bigger and hopefully MUCH better.

I say it all the time: don’t be afraid of change.

I wish you the best. Don’t beat the shit out of yourself.

Negotiation Talks & Ma’s Birthday

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

It’s been a few days since I’ve written to you. My apologies. Honestly I have thought about it–I just didn’t have anything to write about. I’ve missed you. Welcome back.

OK! So some big news coming from my camp. I’m accepting a new job this week at a massive company and I’m super thrilled about it. The company I’m at right now is a dead end and lied to me during the interview process, so… yeah, I’m happy. ECSTATIC.

But that’s not the best part of the day. It’s my Ma’s birthday! We did a brunch yesterday since today is a Monday, but after coaching I’ll make sure to drop by her house and say hello. Give her a big hug and tell her I love her. She’s a great mom. The best.

And last thing to update you on: I fight this weekend! In Iowa! I don’t know why I’m yelling! But yes, I’m boxing again this weekend. I have a few pounds to cut so I’m limiting what I eat and wearing trash bags all week (sauna suits) to make sure I come in at weight. Wish me luck.

But yeah, things are exciting right now. In about 40 minutes I have to sit down with my soon-to-be new boss and negotiate my starting wage. I’ve never successfully done that before but this time I hope will be different. I’m more confident in what I bring to the table. I’m more confident in myself and in my life. I hope you are, too. You deserve to be confident.

My anxiety? Depression? All still there. Oh don’t you worry, that shit never goes away. But I let it pass through me much easier now. I constantly remind myself to let things pass through me and not to fight with the negative emotions I have throughout the day. It helps. Just let it go through you–don’t wear yourself down by fighting your own emotions.

Phew, I blacked out writing that. I don’t think I’ll go back and edit. You get what you get, right?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MA!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Tomorrow I Travel

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

My titles are becoming quite matter-of-fact, aren’t they? It’s true–I am traveling tomorrow. Nothing exciting, just another trip down to Dallas for work. I’ll actually be back on Tuesday evening, so I’m not going to be there for long.

Today was hectic so far. I spent the morning coaching and training per usual, but followed it up with some complicated relationship shit and a bunch of a chores. I can’t decide which one was more tiring: relationship shit or chores. I think it was the stuff involving feelings. I seem to not be very good with those anymore. Was I ever? thinks back

I’m excited to travel because it gets me out of the house and out of my routine but not for too long. I’m ready to get out of the house. It will be nice to work from an office for a day or two I suppose. We’ll see. I mean, you lot know you will hear from me throughout the trip. That’s a given.

Make sure you enjoy the rest of your freakin’ day, OK?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Where I’m at Today

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

If you read my post from yesterday (about two sentences), you know I’m not in the greatest place right now. Days are again starting to repeat, and my “way out” turned out to be a big fat rejection yesterday that shocked me back down to a depressed state.

Yes, I know. Why am I complaining? I still have a job and I still have everything I had before this opportunity came up. I get that. But I don’t work this hard at everything in my life to just stay in the same place every single day. I look to improve, and right now I’m not seeing any improvement. If anything, all I notice is a decline.

So yeah, I’m not in a good place today. I haven’t eaten and the only thing I did for myself was go for a workout. I spar later today and I do feel bad for those that step in the ring with me. I have quite a bit of frustration and anger to let out.

Anyway, I’ll stop bitching. I’m just not in a good place and I don’t have anyone to talk to about where I’m really at in my head, and it’s scary. I hope you’re in a better place.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

NERVOUS

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 2 Comments

Hi, everybody.

Quick post today. Wish me luck. I have a huge interview at 3 PM CT that could really change a lot for me. I’ve prepared for it but you know how our brains work – very unpredictable.

I’m hoping the best of me comes out. I tried everything in my power so far to pull him out – boxing, running, walking the dogs, eating a little something. It doesn’t seem to be working but maybe by 3 PM I’ll have a bit less anxiety.

I really hope I do well here.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Super Prepared

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

OK, today’s post won’t be about nothing. Don’t even bother reading yesterday’s post. That was an absolute train wreck. I’m scared to even go back and look myself.

Today is a GREAT day! First I started with some sleeping in – it felt nice. My puppy did not enjoy it AT ALL. I’ve never seen him look more starved (don’t worry, he eats PLENTY). I slept till about 8:30 AM and rolled out of bed, fed the dogs of course, swept, showered, walked the dogs, then I got to do something that’s really, really fun for me. I got to go coach a really cool little six-year old. He’s actually technically sound and has some power, and he’s only six! I talked with his mother today and it looks like she does want him to compete, so we could see the little guy competing in boxing (in a safe manner) as early as eight years old! A pretty fun development this morning.

Then I got my work in. Love getting my work in. Music blasting and head down, slamming the heavy bag after shadow boxing an imaginative opponent for a couple of rounds. I followed that with some battle rope work and medicine ball slams, all capped off with a 3-mile run that felt oh so good.

What a day so far, right? Well, I’m not even to the present yet. I came home and made a killer sandwich. You know how I always talk about “small happinesses”? That’s one of them. I really cherished the shit out of that sandwich today. Oh, and I had some AMAZING red kimchi with it. Mhm, mhm, good.

My dogs are really calm today. Both asleep right now. It’s great because I’m actually nervous for tomorrow. I spoke briefly at a tremendous career opportunity coming up here tomorrow. The second interview. I’m focused and I’ve done my research. Hell, I even have thoughtful questions typed out and ready to go for tomorrow already. I feel good about it.

I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but if I do get this job… well, a lot of my money stressors drop out of my life. And the prospect of that is so freeing. But again, I can’t get ahead of myself. I can’t think I’ve already won. I must stay in the moment, be aware of how I’m feeling and more importantly, how I’m responding, and go from there.

I’ll update you lot as I always do. I really hope you’re having an amazing Sunday and get a great start to the week.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

WHAT DO I DO

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

This will be quick because it’s just a freakout. It’s an issue I have EVERY SINGLE WORK DAY.

I need a new job. This shit is driving me nuts. Never have I been more lackluster in my efforts at a place of employment, even back in my serving and bartending days. The leadership sucks, the structure sucks, and our strategies suck. I need a way out – luckily I have an interview either later this week or early next week with another company that actually makes a damn difference in people’s lives.

But shit, I need to get out. When you’re struggling with your job, the worth of it, etc., what do you do to perk yourself up? Or do you just say fuck it, time to get a new job? I’m at the latter stages. I’ve given this job… about 5 months. It’s not getting better. If anything, it’s getting more and more disorganized. It’s shitty to see, but at least I’m seeing it for what it’s worth and trying to make moves out of it.

But again, WHAT DO I DO?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Broken Promise

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

First, let me say I don’t know if I ever promised to stop writing daily. I said I wanted to. Things change (as I’ve mentioned in 25-50 blog posts here) and I decided to take some time right now to jot down some thoughts.

Mornings are long, nights are short.

My dogs are a blessing and a curse.

I want more freedom.

I would like to travel to Las Vegas for the Bud Crawford fight on November 20th but money will stop me from going.

Each day feels the same.

I’m missing that special someone in my life and I’m worried that I’ve broken too far apart from that side of me, leaving me alone for the rest of my life due to my failure to open up and be myself. I mean, it’s scary to tell people exactly who you are or how you act – more of what you’re capable of than anything else, really. It’s scary to others.

I box this Sunday. I’m kind of excited for it, kind of not. This was a rushed matchup so I don’t know what I’m getting myself into here.

I wish my mind was more creative. Like, a lot more creative.

Graphic design is something I wish I could create the patience for.

I am thinking about a lot more right now than I even thought.

My investments are doing well for once. That’s cool.

I need a new job. This one will do for now but man, I am bored.

I think that covers my thoughts for right now. I know you lot didn’t ask for them. What are you thinking about today? What’s taking the most mental real estate in your life right at this moment?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Bored at The Auto Shop

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

I figured I would write to you since, well, I am capable of doing nothing else at the moment. You see, I came to the auto shop to get an oil change and some work done. Problem: I can’t connect to an unsecured network on my work device. Looks like you lot are stuck with me now.

Today was weird. I woke up at 8:30 AM. I haven’t woken up that late in months (on accident). What happened?

I truly believe my finally said enough is enough, let’s get some rest. What did I say back? Well, mind, how about a 2 mile run to punish you? It worked wonders. I felt great after the run and dismissed the guilt I felt from sleeping in.

But there’s a problem. I need to get some fucking work done ASAP, and it looks like I’m anchored in here at the Nissan shop… just waiting to get internet back. Oh! And I have a web meeting in an hour.

It’s safe to say I didn’t plan this day well. However, who gives a shit? Let’s push through it, eh?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Going Through the Motions

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

It’s exactly what it sounds like. I finally understand the “Mondays” joke now. Well, it still isn’t funny but I get it. I get it. Mondays do suck. It’s always a reminder that I’m right here back at my desk making cold calls and sending out creative emails. Yet I’ve run out of creative things to write. I mean, there’s proof right here on this blog.

Am I overdoing it? Do I need to take a break or maybe make a shift (through a vacation) to reset myself? I feel like I’ve relived the same week for about two months, do any of you struggle with that? I’m curious. I can’t be the only one, right?

But I am tired of going through the motions. It’s only 11 AM CT and I’ve hit my goals for work today. What do I do for the next six hours? Who the fuck knows, really. I will probably mow my lawn, take my dogs on a second walk, and hopefully not nap. Napping always puts me in a bad mood. However, it’s hard to keep your mind stimulated throughout the day when you’re just running through the motions. And when the mind isn’t stimulated, the body tends to wilt.

Let’s shoot for change today, eh?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.