I’m off work this week and I’ve put this blogging off for about… 3 days. To be quite honest, I really dislike this time of year and everything that comes with it. Minus the food. The food can stay.
There’s simply too many social expectations when it comes to the holidays. Especially the holiday season that we’re in right now – Christmas and New Year’s. If you’re alone on these days, well, if you’re me it feels like death. And for the past two months, ever since a certain someone kicked me out of their life for good, I’ve felt impending doom on these days.
AND IT’S RIDICULOUS. I’m letting social constructs control my mind and my overall mental fortitude. It’s ridiculous. But it’s been a theme for me every year since I was in high school – since back in the days when I wasn’t invited to anything. I remember being sad every Friday night when I didn’t get invited to stuff, and it was even worse when it came to the holidays. Party there, party here, no party near me. It’s not pity, it was reality. And it’s fed into my disgust with the holidays now.
But I do have plans on New Year’s. I had to search for them, but I found some. I won’t be “alone” on the final day of 2022, but I do feel alone. So yeah, I will be alone.
When will I look at the world differently? I’ve been told it comes down to me. If that’s the case, things aren’t going to be looking up for a bit – maybe. But who knows, you lot know I shift from day to day. And I always, always feel better after I throw up on this blog.
Thank you for being my outlet. Happy Holidays. Last blog of 2022? Probably.
I LOVE YOU!
I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.