Tag: Give

Reciprocal Value

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

Hope you’re having a smashing morning. No, I’m not British – just wanted to use smashing in a sentence.

Let’s talk a bit about reciprocal value. I’ve been thinking a lot about it recently, specifically within my relationships. I’ve boiled it down to roughly 10 folks that provide what I believe is the most crucial element of a relationship: reciprocal value.

So what do I mean by that? These friends owe me stuff because I’ve put effort and care into some of their problems/issues? No. I’m saying it’s a blue table friendship, not a red table. Both parties are receiving benefit out of the relationship, which may not be visible to the naked eye, but both can feel it. I have 2-3 friends that excel at this and put me to shame, but man am I grateful for those people.

Without reciprocal value, you’re either just giving yourself away or taking from someone. If you start to find someone distancing themselves from you, ask yourself if you’ve put as much effort into the relationship as they have. Ask yourself the tough questions. Because when you ask those questions of yourself, you’re able to build rock solid relationships that can last through anything. And that’s what life is about, right? I think it is.

Our time here is valuable, no matter what you believe happens after we fail to exist here. In 100 years no one will know that you made that extra effort, but right here, right now, in the moment that matters, you will know – and so will the individual you care about. Be present. Be there. And most importantly, be yourself.

Huh. A blog with a bit of substance. That’s a nice change, right?

I wish you well. Try. not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Tired Hands

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

You didn’t think I was stopping at 7 days, did ya? I don’t know how long I’ll keep the streak going but my goal was 7 days and I hit it. WOO. Let’s keep this train chuggin’.

OK, moving on. My hands are legitimately tired. Typing right now is actually creaky/painful to a certain extent. Early arthritis in the hands–could use a hand massage every day (they are so lovely). But I’m not talking about our physical hands here. I’m talking about our mental grasp of things: what we’re able to do to help others when we’re rested compared to when unrested.

There’s a massive difference. Today I know I need to limit how much I give to others and to myself. I woke up with bags under the eyes, creaky hands (I mentioned that already), sore neck, shoulders, and one tired, tired mind. I need to recharge. I need to bring myself through that mental massage so my body, and more importantly my mind, is restored back to where it needs to be.

But sometimes life doesn’t give us a second to take our breath. That’s when we have to force our minds to prioritize our health over everything else. Right now I should be working, but I know where my head is at. I know I’ll be a more effective worker once I rehabilitate my mind for the day. Let’s start there.

Notice when you have tired hands. Take a step back. Breathe. Listen to your body. Listen to your mind. And as Richard Miller says, become “aware and at ease”, and progress.

I have no fucking clue if any of this made sense.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.