Tag: exhaustion

Busy, Busy Morning

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 4 Comments

Hi, everybody.

I’ve mentioned a few times this week that I’ve been in a slump. I mean, what’s new, right? I probably tell you lot that I’m in a slump every other blog post. Shit. I probably do. Maybe I’m not in a slump. Maybe I’m just a victim of the moment, or make myself out to be.

See, writing is cool, isn’t it?

Well today I woke up late. On purpose. We’re… 9 or 10 days away from my first boxing match in five years so let’s just say my body is a bit overtrained right now. Well, a lot overtrained. Let’s be honest. Multiple miles of running a day mixed with sprints, add some sparring, add some weightlifting, oh then do some more sprints. It’s tough, but it’s worth it.

This morning I started off with mowing my lawn instead of running. Don’t worry, I ran in between mowing the front yard and the back. Then I sprinkled in some sprints. Then I finished the backyard. Now I’m about to head to lunch with my Ma, then a jam-packed afternoon of meetings.

Fun stuff, right?

It is. I may find myself in mental slumps, but the physical activities I do that pass through me with ease keep me going. It may sound stupid, but sometimes I think we spend too much time battling with our own mind and not letting enough stuff pass through us. Taking moment by moment instead of yesterday’s moment all the way into today. Refresh. Recharge. Move past that shit. Take on what’s next in your life and never stop observing how you handle each and every moment. Actually, scratch that. Just let those moments pass through you. You’ll find yourself less stressed, I promise.

Well, another day another blog about nothing really. I hope my readers are still enjoying what I’m writing. I know I mentioned I’d like to move to a weekly blog post schedule, but this is now part of my routine. I’m sure I’ll break from it at some point… but not quite yet.

Time to go eat some steak and shrimp with my Ma.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Midday Exhaustion

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

Well, it’s around 12:30 PM CT and guess what? I’m tired. I don’t know if I have trained my body to take a nap at this point of the day or if I’m just extremely bored and tired of what I do, but either way… here I am. In just the other room rests my bed. I can’t wait to see that sucker in a second.

But I didn’t want to jump into a nap before I discussed how this exhaustion makes me feel. Honestly, it feels like a limitation I can’t seem to get past. Maybe it’s a way to make my days go by faster. Maybe I need something new and exciting in my life. Or, maybe, just maybe, I need to stop thinking so deeply on something that could be looked as as so simple.

Maybe.

But why do I feel this exhaustion so consistently? I wake up in the morning and get my body going through a nice run, some sprints, and a dog walk. I always eat something healthy for breakfast. And yes, I do drink one cup of a coffee/cold brew a day. I think I have good habits in the morning.

As for night time, well, other things can be said about that. I’ll admit it, I don’t go to bed at a decent time, but honestly I’m just trying to wait out of the next day. Why? Well, I know it’s probably going to be similar to what I’ve just experienced in that previous 12-16 hours of consciousness.

Things seem bleak here, but they’re not. I’m just asking myself questions as I always do on this blog. If you have answers or advice to any of these questions, feel free to share. But again, this blog is made for me to work through personal issues and professional issues. It’s not made to help you feel better. Shit, it’s not even made to make me feel better. It’s here to help process information. That’s it. And so far it’s doing a great job at that.

Now let me lie down and take a nap, not process any information, then get back to my day. I do hope to find a way to keep my mind and body full of energy throughout an entire day, but I’m sure it will take time. This whole life thing is a journey and even though sometimes each day feels the same, we must acknowledge that they aren’t the same. Not even in the slightest. We feel different things every day. We respond differently every day. Our energy levels vary every single new day.

See? This blog is about processing. And it does a fine job at that. Thank you for reading.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Need A Break (Or Do I?)

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

Right now I’m wearing too many hats. I’m coaching a boxer for her first fight. I’m volunteering my time at a boxing club that’s been around for 43 years – needs complete remodel and renovation. I’m applying for federal grants for the boxing club considering they are are 501(c)3 organization, with the help of my Pops. Oh, I’m also at this new job, which means I’m in meetings from 9 AM – 5 PM every day. Add in my part-time gig of coaching at a local gym on Mondays and Tuesdays, and you can see how packed I am. Oh, add home-owning duties to the mix.

I shouldn’t be multi-tasking right now, but I do not have much of another option. To make sure I balance this and stay aware of how I’m holding up, I’ve decided to write it all out.

I will be OK. Things will slow down.

We are doing good things for the community. The tough work will pay off. Not for me, but for so many inner city kids. I’m excited about that. So very excited.

But the title says I need a break. I don’t think I do. I think I’ll take a break once we do all of these awesome things. That sounds like a good time for a break: After completion.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Breaking Exhaustion

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 3 Comments

Hi, everybody.

Good morning. I’m still trying to wake up and it’s 10:30 AM already. I’m through one cup of cold brew but nothing seems to be picking my energy levels up.

Food? Well, I had some yogurt and some fruit. I think I’ve nourished my body plenty so far today.

Really it comes down to getting myself to go to bed at a decent time. Even with my mental health somewhat in control nowadays, I still have an issue falling asleep any time prior to 2 AM. I’d really love that to change. Do any of my readers have any advice?

I don’t know why I stay up so late. Am I dreading the next day? Is my anxiety beating me up? Is my depression crippling me? Am I just not tired? I must be tired. I work all day, I box at night, coach at night, and talk with one of my buddies for a good portion of the night, too. It’s not like I’m doing nothing. I’m very busy, so my exhaustion comes from that. But it could be helped by going to sleep at a decent fuckin’ time. I need to figure this out at some point in my life. Waking up early in the morning to work out after a solid night of sleep sounds lovely.

I’m going to try to sleep a bit earlier tonight. I’m going to shoot for 1 AM. That’s an hour difference, an hour of improvement, and an hour to change.

This is one of the few times I’ve written and not really came up with a solution. So, my friends, please feel free to comment with what helps you wind down at night. We can all help each other, ya know?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Overslept (For A Reason)

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everyone!

Today I slept till 8:30 AM CT. Why? Because I’m fucking exhausted, that’s why. Did I push it a bit with work and my 9 AM meeting? Kind of, but karma was on my side. That meeting was pushed back to 10 AM.

Why did I oversleep? I mentioned it: Exhaustion. But I’ve spoken about this before: It’s a good exhaustion. It comes from hard work through my passion, which if you don’t know by now is boxing. Multi-mile runs, plenty of bag rounds, sparring, and sprinkle in some coaching…. boy, does it tire you out. I have no clue how my head coach has done it for so many years, but one day I hope to be like him.

As always, I don’t have too much to type today. It’s a relatively relaxed day for me. Work till about 4 PM, hit the gym for an hour, and sneak a mile run in sometime during the day. Then it’s date night! (I still need to figure out how to get out of this “relationship” as my buddy calls it. I’ve been clear about it NOT being a relationship with the woman, but I don’t think that message firmly sits in her head. I gotta figure this out.)

OK! What a weird blog.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Tired Hands

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

You didn’t think I was stopping at 7 days, did ya? I don’t know how long I’ll keep the streak going but my goal was 7 days and I hit it. WOO. Let’s keep this train chuggin’.

OK, moving on. My hands are legitimately tired. Typing right now is actually creaky/painful to a certain extent. Early arthritis in the hands–could use a hand massage every day (they are so lovely). But I’m not talking about our physical hands here. I’m talking about our mental grasp of things: what we’re able to do to help others when we’re rested compared to when unrested.

There’s a massive difference. Today I know I need to limit how much I give to others and to myself. I woke up with bags under the eyes, creaky hands (I mentioned that already), sore neck, shoulders, and one tired, tired mind. I need to recharge. I need to bring myself through that mental massage so my body, and more importantly my mind, is restored back to where it needs to be.

But sometimes life doesn’t give us a second to take our breath. That’s when we have to force our minds to prioritize our health over everything else. Right now I should be working, but I know where my head is at. I know I’ll be a more effective worker once I rehabilitate my mind for the day. Let’s start there.

Notice when you have tired hands. Take a step back. Breathe. Listen to your body. Listen to your mind. And as Richard Miller says, become “aware and at ease”, and progress.

I have no fucking clue if any of this made sense.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

A Weirder Than Normal April Fools’ Day

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

This post isn’t necessarily about April Fools’ Day. I mean, as you lot know, I really have no clue what the fuck I’m going to write about 99% of the time on here. So let’s get into it.

This morning started with a… groggy me. I stayed up too late last night. Amazon purchases, putting together a desk, trying to get my office to not look like a 13-year Call of Duty player’s game room. I spent quite a bit of time starting off into space last night, just thinking. No bad thoughts–it was quite nice.

BUT let’s get into the funny thing this morning. As I mentioned, I woke up groggy, not all there. I called my friend after he messaged “I have some bad news.”

“—–, what’s up? What’s going on?”

“—–, the wife and I were talking last night and… well, I don’t think we’re spending enough time together so I’m getting rid of my gaming computer.”

Instantly I felt terrible. I’ve pulled him away from his wife multiple times to play “vidjie” games. To be quite clear, it is HIS choice and HIS fault he plays as much as he does (yeah, bro, I know you’re reading this). I will not let that man pass the buck. But fuck, did he get me good this morning. Heart dropped. Thought his marriage was over. Luckily it’s April 1 and, well, it was all a joke. Thank God. I love those two together. Even if the wife has a love/hate for me.

Another fun thing happened this morning. My boss sent out a company-wide email about my resignation. I told him he should of used this day to his advantage and tell the company I’m pursuing my dream of becoming a private dancer in a small town. Sadly he chose not to lose his job and just mentioned where I’m actually heading after I leave this company. I’ve received some very nice messages from my colleagues. It’s been really, really nice to read.

An update on how I’m doing trying to fool people today? Absolutely fucking terrible. I can’t come up with anything believable. I tried a broken wrist and a few other things I’m not proud to mention. I can’t decide if a subtle fool is more usable than a… scary fools, like me being accidentally impaled by my low fence in the backyard. I don’t know. I hope I figure out something.

Well, thank you for reading my post about absolutely nothing. I hope you lot have some fun today. Oh, remind me to get more sleep, OK? Thank you.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.