Endless Contemplation

Hi, everybody.

It’s a chill day. Started it off with some coffee and sparring–now it’s time to sit in my sweatpants and relax. Well, until a birthday dinner later tonight, but that will be quick. Then right back to sweatpants and relaxing!

OK, “Endless Contemplation”, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of days. It’s funny because it’s thinking about thinking… if you think about it. OK, sorry, I’m done.

But I have been thinking a lot. Like more than usual. After my last fight, I don’t quite know the direction I should take. My coach is pushing me out even further from a pro debut and I don’t have too much time. I mean, I’m 30. I just want to take a couple pro fights for fun. I’m not looking to make a career out of it. Let me fight.

So yeah, I’m thinking about that. I’ve also gotten back into the trenches of thinking I’m not in the right location. I hate when I get like this, honestly. Do I really think moving would change things for me? It has in the past, but I always end up right back here. So what should I do? Stop thinking about moving.

Oh, and I can’t stop thinking about work. How I can be better. What I’m doing wrong. Do I even want to keep doing what I’m doing.

Endless thoughts. Endless contemplation.

But I look down at my dog (the younger one) and I realize sometimes it just doesn’t matter. Why don’t I let this pass through me and enjoy my time right here, right now? I could stop writing and start cuddling with this doggo.

And guess what. That’s where this blog ends. Right when the issue is resolved (for now).

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Back Where It Started

Hi, everybody!

I hope you’re all doing so, so great today. Each day is bringing something new for me right now and boy does it feel good.

Yesterday I was quite busy. Crazy, right? Never happens. Anyway, I had my normal work schedule but had to follow it with legitimate sparring rounds and sand volleyball. You could say my body is quite tired, but it’s not limiting me. I enjoy being sore. I enjoy being tired at times. I enjoy having the feeling of “I am doing shit”. It’s an empowering feeling, especially when “doing shit” means jabbing someone in the face and torso for 3 minutes straight.

Do you lot know I’m on a 26-day streak with blogs? I can’t stress enough how instrumental writing is in maintaining my mental health. Remember, this thing started off as a mental health blog. I still think it is, but I’m not having as many struggles right now. It’s a good feeling but I do know things will change and I’ll relapse back into that negative state. However, this time I’m confident I’ll be able to navigate away from it quicker than ever. I’m happy about that. Very happy about that. My apologies if the change in this blog deters you from reading any further, but if it does, you’re kind of a butthead. I mean, think about it. You want me to be sad? C’mon, this is a good thing!

I guess I should tie in the title, eh? Forgot to do that. “Back Where It Started” alludes to me sparring at my first ever boxing gym I trained at. That’s literally it. I am not creative with titles. You know this by now.

I’m trying to figure out my next step with this blog. I’d like to do more. I don’t know if I have the necessary time to do more, but I would like to do more to help those struggling with mental health. If I could do it through boxing 100% of the time, my life would be complete. However, things don’t just fall into place like that.

If you have an idea of where you’d like to see this blog go (I can write about almost anything), please let me know. If you’d like more stories of my life, let me know. If you’d like more self care BS or book quotes, let me know. I’m open to it. I love my readers. You lot save my life each and every day. Thank you.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Staying Your Course

Hi, everybody!

Another reminder popped up to write a blog, so here I am. I’m not a huge fan of Siri but I do love me some reminders. I’d be lost without them.

WHAT A TRANSITION. Today we’re discussing staying our course. I’ve stumbled and tripped along the road most of my life but I’ve been lucky enough to keep a general sense of direction since I beat my drug addiction a decade back.

What’s the key to staying on your path? I don’t think there’s just one. But I do believe the few things I list below are essential to keeping your life “on track”, at least for me:

  • Keeping a routine – It doesn’t have to be followed step-by-step every day, but it is important to have a general idea of what you’re doing each day.
  • Checking in with your friends and support system.
  • Taking a day for yourself to do nothing – Self care is very important and sometimes we just need a recharge to find our center again.
  • Understand what excites you, tangible or intangible, and make sure you’re putting time towards that.
  • Reading – I don’t do this enough but whenever I do, I feel like I’m on the right path.
  • Getting outside – Whether it’s to walk your dogs or just to chill, it’s important to get outside and get fresh air, deep breaths, and sunlight.
  • Exercise – No matter what you end up doing, being active and getting some form of exercise in can be extremely influential in keeping your body and mind strong.
  • Meditations – These don’t have to be structured, and no, you don’t have to get to a state of nirvana to have a successful meditation session, you just need to be present.
  • Mental check-ins – Are you doing well? Are you taking on too much? I don’t ask these questions enough of myself. I hope you do.
  • Diet – I struggle with this the most, but what we put in our body directly impacts our day. Remember that. I wish I remembered it a bit more often, especially last night when I had four waffles right before bed.
  • Trust yourself.

This could all be bullshit to you, but I hope you’re able to grab one to two things out of this list that you can apply to your daily schedule. I know all this shit helps me. Maybe it’ll help you, too. I think that’s what this blog is for, kinda?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.