Tag: Decisions

Complicated Problem (To Me)

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody!

Well, I’m back. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that or not. I am back home. And booooy does it feel good. Doggos are being doggos, running around like crazy, begging for food and walks. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

But I have a problem.

Since my significant other has been gone, I’ve noticed I don’t share the connection I thought I had with them. Things scare me about the relationship, mainly age and where we’re at in life. We’ve went through completely different lives. I’m at a loss. They have been away and when they’re back, I may have to break it off. I’m beat up about this. But I shouldn’t be, should I? At least I’ve realized this. I can’t break up with them while they’re in another country, obviously, that’s heartbreaking. But I do want to have a talk to them in-person. I want to let them know I’m not happy with how things are now that we’re dating.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I do this every single time. I jump into something and realize I’ve fucked up about two weeks in. It’s terrible.

So what do I do? Well, maybe my feelings will change after the next week. Maybe they’ll change before they gets back. Hell, it has been a long month and this week has really put a dent in my mental stamina. But maybe it won’t. Maybe my feelings won’t change.

And what about this pattern I have? What do I do about that?

Usually when I write… I get to solutions for myself. This time that’s not the case. I guess I’ll have to keep digging deeper, try to understand what I’m feeling a bit more, and hopefully receive some advice from friends… if I have the balls to mention this.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Standing Firm

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 1 Comment

It’s not easy to do. Each day you wake up you’re faced with what seems like a minimal impact decision: Do I get out of bed?

It’s important to get out of bed, especially if you struggle with mental health. If you don’t get out of bed, you’re compounding the misery. It’s not an opinion, it’s a fact. Giving yourself leeway, however, isn’t wrong to do. Sometimes it’s important, but whatever you decide on, stand firm on that decision.

This morning, for example, I woke up at a decent time. I don’t have a working shower so I’ve been using the gym till the plumber fixes the pipes at my house. I woke up & immediately thought, “There’s no way I get to the gym, shower, and back in time to get anything done for work.”

Now normally, at least over the past 6-7 months, I would’ve rolled over in bed & said fuck it. Today, however, I stood firm in what I planned to do today. I got out of bed, had one of the most lackluster gym sessions I’ve ever had, but guess what? I got out of bed. I did what I told myself I would do. I made the rest of my day less stressful due to that decision.

It doesn’t sound like much. And really, it isn’t much. But do what you can do to help yourself. Don’t let that little evil guy or girl inside your brain tell you no. Stand up to that fucker. Tell yourself I can do this. I will do this. And in turn, you’ll be able to say “I did it.”

Stand firm, people.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.