The Fun of Paying Bills

Hi, everybody!

Today is pay day! What’s that mean? Everything I earn gets dumped into 5+ bills! Woot woot!

I’m lucky and grateful to be able to cover my bills. Please don’t take this as me bitching. I understand many are not in the situation I am in and many are worse off. I’m here to chat if you need to chat.

However, something about getting paid and throwing it all into bills hurts the soul a bit. Granted, I am better off this paycheck than I was the past couple of months, so I’ve done a good job readjusting my budget and laying low on stupid purchases. Also, my debt is depleting and my investment portfolio is increasing. I feel good about that.

But I would like to take a trip. I really would. BUT! Have no fear, work is here to save me on that front. They’re bringing me down to Dallas next month (WILL I BREAK THE (now 72) DAY STREAK? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT).

But now it’s time to forget about the bills paid and understand my happiness, my life, everything, isn’t run by money or how much I’m making this week or next week. My happiness, my life, everything, it’s all run by me. It’s up to me being aware of each and every situation I’m in. Aware of the feelings I have when paying bills and feeling slightly defeated. Understanding and being aware of the constant ups and downs of life. Awareness to act, not react – that’s a huge one.

I’m grateful I can pay my bills. I’m grateful for so, so much. I’m grateful I get to write to you lot daily.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Money Problems

Hi, everyone.

I don’t have “money problems”. I mean, I do, but it’s more debt problems. Nothing major but it does bother me. One thing I haven’t figured out yet is how to properly manage my money, my budget, etc..

And without management, shit hits the fan. Like today when I logged into my accounts: YEESH. Can’t wait till Friday for my paycheck so I can pay off debt, pay off medical bills, and be exactly where I am right now. See, that’s the thing: The money never stops going out. It stops coming in, but it never stops going out.

I’m stressed. Everything that was going well for me is spiraling downward, including boxing. I’m losing it a bit. I’m waking up a bit later now, lacking motivation, and my thoughts before bed are horrendous.

I’m scared again. This should be titled “Problems”, not “Money Problems”.

Oh, I think this makes 50 days in a row. Yippee. Hooray. Meh.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.