Author: Henry Butterfly

The Fun of Paying Bills

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody!

Today is pay day! What’s that mean? Everything I earn gets dumped into 5+ bills! Woot woot!

I’m lucky and grateful to be able to cover my bills. Please don’t take this as me bitching. I understand many are not in the situation I am in and many are worse off. I’m here to chat if you need to chat.

However, something about getting paid and throwing it all into bills hurts the soul a bit. Granted, I am better off this paycheck than I was the past couple of months, so I’ve done a good job readjusting my budget and laying low on stupid purchases. Also, my debt is depleting and my investment portfolio is increasing. I feel good about that.

But I would like to take a trip. I really would. BUT! Have no fear, work is here to save me on that front. They’re bringing me down to Dallas next month (WILL I BREAK THE (now 72) DAY STREAK? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT).

But now it’s time to forget about the bills paid and understand my happiness, my life, everything, isn’t run by money or how much I’m making this week or next week. My happiness, my life, everything, it’s all run by me. It’s up to me being aware of each and every situation I’m in. Aware of the feelings I have when paying bills and feeling slightly defeated. Understanding and being aware of the constant ups and downs of life. Awareness to act, not react – that’s a huge one.

I’m grateful I can pay my bills. I’m grateful for so, so much. I’m grateful I get to write to you lot daily.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

The Importance of Routine (For Me)

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

I write about routine quite often, but it’s really important to me. So here I go again, writing about it. Do I routinely write about routine?

My routine does vary. I promise you. I don’t do the same exact shit every single day, but I do make sure to knock a few things off my list each and every day. What does this do for me? Well, it tells me that I’m still on track. That I’m not losing my shit and I’m not a piece of shit. It reminds me of the progress I make throughout the day. It reminds me, even when I’m down and out, that I can get shit done.

It may be a small part of life but I truly think it’s important one. Now, a routine isn’t for everyone. I’ve known plenty people in the past that a routine does the exact opposite for them. It stresses them out. Makes them feel boxed in. All that jazz. For me, it’s different.

So, what do I make sure to include in my daily routine?

  • Blog (even if I don’t have much to write about… as you’ve seen)
  • Dog walk (sometimes 2x, sometimes 3x)
  • Workout and/or coaching (sometimes light, most of the time heavy)
  • SOMETHING for breakfast (yogurt, toast, or a full-blown American breakfast)
  • 5-10 Minutes at night to sit with my dogs and just breathe

Now there’s plenty else involved. Sometimes I do a bit of graphic design. As you all know, I do hold a full-time job, too, so that’s included in the routine.

But it’s very important for me. I don’t know if you lot are mostly routine people or not, but if you are, make sure you understand the real significance in having that routine. You aren’t just “going through the motions”, you’re doing part of what makes you, you.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Subtle Changes

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

I’m back and I’m back with a much better attitude today, thankfully. A few things happened yesterday after I blogged!

  • My roommate came back from Colorado after a 3-week stay.
  • I lost my mind at volleyball, along with one of my other teammates, because we did everything we could to win but our teammates… well, frankly they just suck. There’s no easy way of putting it.
  • More success at work! Demo this morning went well and I woke up extremely early and did it without much help. That’s not like me and I take that as a small success.
  • The most important change: Me. I’m in a much better headspace today and it’s noticeable.

So how did I get out of my shit from yesterday? I think I typed it out. I am aware and I am at ease. I don’t write these things for nothing. I write them as a form of therapy for myself and hopefully it helps you, too. If it doesn’t, well, thanks for reading.

Living in the moment is so very important, but understanding there’s most likely more moments to come is also very important. Why? Well, it’s pretty simple. If you’re living in a shitty moment right now, understand there will be plenty more moments that won’t be like that shitty moment you’re experiencing right now. Trust me on that. If you don’t think you’ll make it past this shitty moment, talk to someone about it. Please. I’m not a burden on anyone. You aren’t a burden on anyone. We’re in this shit together.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Another One of Those Days!

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 2 Comments

Hi, everybody.

Yep, you guessed it. I’m in the dumps today. Now, I could attribute it to the slight alcohol intake I had yesterday (after all, it is a natural depressant), but I don’t think it’s that.

The weekend is about to end and I have a meeting to start work at 6:45 AM tomorrow. It feels like the weekend just got here. But it’s over. Now we move on to another week of selling. Another week of the same ol’, same ol’. Also, I miss my girlfriend already. She’s in Egypt for another 3.5 weeks. Bleh.

Motivation has been tough for me this past week. I’ve conquered everything in front of me but as the week went on, I felt more and more gassed. Like right now I don’t want to do anything the rest of the day. BUT that’s not possible. I still have a birthday dinner and volleyball to attend tonight. I’m not thrilled on that. Just now I had to stop blogging to answer a phone call trying to change my plans YET AGAIN.

Bleh. I’m not in the mood to write. I hope to come back to you lot tomorrow with a much better attitude. I really do.

I am aware and I am at ease.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

PS – writing does it again. Birthday dinner postponed. I can now breathe again.

It’s Quote Day! Sports Edition? Sure.

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Hi, everybody!

I’m pretty tired and don’t feel too much like writing. However, reading isn’t half bad right now. I’m in a “sports” mood, so that’s the theme we’ll keep today.

I’ve learned that something constructive comes from every defeat.

Tom Landry

Do you know what my favorite part of the game is? The opportunity to play

Mike Singletary

Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against you.

Arnold Palmer

Your biggest opponent isn’t the other guy. It’s human nature.

Bobby Knight

I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’

Muhammad Ali

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Me

Hitting My Stride

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everyone!

THREE meetings booked this week. Let me put that into perspective: I booked one meeting over my first month.

It feels good. My boss, the VP of Sales, etc., are starting to throw some love at me. I needed that. I felt I wasn’t performing but as almost anything with life: it takes time.

I’m also doing really well in terms of boxing. I sparred yesterday and barely got touched. Landed quite a few clean jabs against some tough sparring partners. My coach actually said I did well, and he never, ever says that (even if he wants to). So that feels great.

This weekend I get to hang out with some friends I haven’t seen in a while and continue to train in the sport I love.

Things are really coming together. They really are. My finances are looking up, too (that could easily change, let’s not jinx it).

Have you taken a step back today to appreciate yourself? Appreciate the work you’ve put in to get even this far in life? You should. You’re impressive. You’re talented. You fuckin’ got this.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Helping People Selflessly

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 2 Comments

Hi, everybody.

I hope you’re doing well today. I am, even though I happened to fall asleep on the couch last night (usually that messes up my back REAL BAD).

Today’s another good day. Feels like it’s more routine now to wake up in a good mood rather than a bad mood. What do I attribute that to? Well, you lot know I attribute a lot of my mental health successes to this blog, my support system, and remaining aware. However, helping people provides an extra boost to my overall mental health. Why? Well, I finally have the mental capacity to help others without ME in mind. It’s finally getting to the point where it’s selfless help rather than “pat me on the back for helping” help. There’s a difference.

So what’s allowed me to help more freely without keeping myself in the picture? I don’t quite know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I think it’s just becoming more and more natural the more I stay aware and the more I practice.

Everyone tells us we can do anything we put our minds to. I don’t believe that one bit, but I like the general sentiment of the statement. And we can do PLENTY that we put our minds to, just not all. Helping others selflessly is one thing I put my mind to and it’s starting to finally come together. Do I still feel good when I help people? Yes, but I’m trying to eliminate the self from helping others, so that needs to change.

I don’t know if I confused you here. I hope I didn’t. If you have questions, please feel free to comment below. I love chatting with you lot!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Almost Forgot About You

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

Yes, I’m talking about you. It’s almost 2 PM and I let blogging slip my mind till now! OH MY.

There’s good reason. Today has easily been my most successful day at my new job. Two meetings, an opportunity created of over $50k, and plenty of solid conversations. Oh, and I got a new boss! Real cool guy.

To be honest, lot, I really don’t have much to say today. I just wanted to check in, let you know I’m still here, still breathing, and trying to thrive. I actually need to step away from screens really, really bad. Make sure you’re checking in with yourself often. I needed to and it ended up boosting me to my first real successful day at this job.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

A (False?) Sense of Peace

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody!

Welp, the girlfriend went to another country for a month so it’s just you and me for a bit! I’m excited, are you?

I woke up this morning feeling serene. I did my normal routine but the girlfriend did stop by for a quick dog walk prior to her departure. I will say I’m not doing the best at work, but I hope with less distractions (new relationships tend to create a natural distraction) I can pick up the pace a bit. Also, I was just told I have a new boss starting… today? Tomorrow? One of the two. Hopefully he’s a good guy. OH! I’ve always had some serious thoughts about getting out of sales. Maybe moving into marketing. Who knows.

But back to the peace thing. This is how I know the blog’s title makes sense. One morning I wake up feeling like dog shit, the next morning I feel like I can preach to the world about awareness and loving yourself. I’m striving to be somewhere in between, because let’s be honest… no one really wants someone to constantly say “love yourself” or “I’m dog shit”. There’s got to be a balance.

And today I woke up with that balance. I knew I had a long work day ahead of me paired with my second job. I know I have an extremely early and important meeting tomorrow morning that I need to prep for. But I’m doing OK. I’m not stressing. As Richard Miller says in one of his meditations, “I am aware and I am at ease”. I feel that today. I really do.

Peaceful. Quiet. Calm. That’s my day today. And I’m excited for it. What’s your day look like?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

A Month Change

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 2 Comments

Hi, everybody.

I’m slightly worried. Tomorrow my girlfriend leaves for Egypt for a month. No, I’m not worried about what she’ll be doing in Egypt, but a lot of my time is spent with her. Whether it’s hanging out, grabbing dinner, or boxing, we spend A LOT of time together. So that will all change–and for a month at that–scary.

I plan to spend plenty of time on myself. Also, my wallet will thank her for leaving for a month (we eat out a decent amount, it’s one of my favorite things to do and hers as well). But again, I am worried. I’m a man that enjoys structure, routine, sometimes the same ol’ same ol’.

But I have my support system with me as always. Also, she’s just a WhatsApp message away. Who will be my new training partner for the next month? No clue. I need to figure that out quick.

I think I’ll spend a good amount of the next month writing to you lot, too. I hope you don’t mind. I consider those who read my blog some of the people that know me the best. You know the real me. The vulnerable me. And someone needs to know that side of me.

Let’s push through this together. With the help from you lot, I can do so much more than without you lot. When I write, I feel better. When I write to you, I feel a whole lot better.

I’m going to spend the rest of the day enjoying time with my girlfriend before she leaves. I hope she has a tremendous time, but I will miss her.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.