Author: Henry Butterfly

I Need A New Hobby

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 5 Comments

Hi, everybody.

Title pretty much speaks for itself. I do need a new hobby. I’m getting burned out of video gaming, boxing, and coaching. I don’t consider hanging out with my dogs a hobby nor do I consider anything I do for work a hobby. Also, a hobby isn’t “going out to drinks with friends”, it’s just simply not a hobby.

So as a 30-year old man I’m posed with a question: What the f do I do?

Knitting is out of the picture. Collecting rocks is out of the picture. Doing puzzles is out of the picture.

What do you lot do for fun? What keeps you ticking? I could pick reading back up – it’s been a while since I’ve been an avid reader, but that’s difficult to get my mind to execute in a good fashion. So, what? What do I do?

I’m asking my readers here, my friends here, about anything they do for fun. Please let me know, my eyes are starting to burn every day because majority of my hobbies include this computer, my phone, my other computer, etc. I’m getting a bit burned out, along with my retinas.

Any suggestions are welcome! Thanks in advance.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Q U O T E D A Y

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Hi, everybody!

It’s one of those days :).

Love the life you live. Live the life you love.

Bob Marley

Don’t ask the world to change….you change first.

Anthony de Mello

If you find me charming, it means that right now you’re in a good mood, nothing more.

Anthony de Mello

There is no way to happiness – happiness is the way

Thich Nhat Hanh

My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

Thich Nhat Hanh

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Me

So Much Room for Activities

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody!

It’s been a busy, busy day (what else is new?). It’s been a FANTASTIC day so far. What happened? Well, good 5-6 rounds of sparring, some tennis with my Pops, and finished off with some more bag rounds (mainly working on my inside game–uppercuts and hooks). In just a bit, I’ll be heading to play volleyball. Safe to say I should sleep just fine tonight.

So all the external stuff is going well for me today, now it’s time to check in mentally. I advise you to do the same. The day might feel like it’s going well, but maybe you aren’t dealing with some demons. Maybe I’m not dealing with some demons. But it’s time to figure that out for ourselves.

Time to dig deep. Give me one moment.

I still fear the potential conversation I will have to have with my significant other when they return. Maybe that’s why I’ve kept myself so busy today (shit, I’ve only eaten a banana today, too). Maybe I’m hiding. Hopefully this writing is bringing me out of my shell. Well, it is. I’m already working though this issue in my head, through this writing. Am I any better off? Maybe, maybe not. But it’s like I always say, the important part is being aware. Understanding not just what’s around you, but what’s going on inside you, too.

Remember that. Even if the day is feeling great, make sure to take a deep breath and really check in with yourself. Same thing goes for when you’re feeling shitty. Awareness is key. Now let’s get back to the physical demands of the day, eh?!

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Cheat Day

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Hi, everybody.

I’m going to be honest here. It’s been a busy day but that isn’t an excuse I’m using. I took a nap and could’ve spent that time writing… but I didn’t.

Now I’m in another city, sneaking away from dinner just to write to you lot. It’s routine now. But I need to get back. We have an Escape Room to get out of in just a bit. Forgive me for this “cheat day”, please?

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Complicated Problem (To Me)

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Hi, everybody!

Well, I’m back. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that or not. I am back home. And booooy does it feel good. Doggos are being doggos, running around like crazy, begging for food and walks. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

But I have a problem.

Since my significant other has been gone, I’ve noticed I don’t share the connection I thought I had with them. Things scare me about the relationship, mainly age and where we’re at in life. We’ve went through completely different lives. I’m at a loss. They have been away and when they’re back, I may have to break it off. I’m beat up about this. But I shouldn’t be, should I? At least I’ve realized this. I can’t break up with them while they’re in another country, obviously, that’s heartbreaking. But I do want to have a talk to them in-person. I want to let them know I’m not happy with how things are now that we’re dating.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I do this every single time. I jump into something and realize I’ve fucked up about two weeks in. It’s terrible.

So what do I do? Well, maybe my feelings will change after the next week. Maybe they’ll change before they gets back. Hell, it has been a long month and this week has really put a dent in my mental stamina. But maybe it won’t. Maybe my feelings won’t change.

And what about this pattern I have? What do I do about that?

Usually when I write… I get to solutions for myself. This time that’s not the case. I guess I’ll have to keep digging deeper, try to understand what I’m feeling a bit more, and hopefully receive some advice from friends… if I have the balls to mention this.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Frustration

~ Henry Butterfly ~ 1 Comment

Hi, everybody!

I’m home! I really don’t have the patience to even write a blog today but here I am. It’s going to be short. Really short. I think I need a nap more than anything else right now.

I don’t want to complain, but I do need to vent. I JUST SPENT THREE HOURS ON THE PHONE WITH MY INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER. What came out of it? Nothing.

But why am I writing this? To remind myself of one simple thing that I always mention but always forget: Control the controllable.

Today I’m working on that. Every day I’m working on that.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

One Thing I Couldn’t Do

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Hi, everybody!

Title sounds negative, doesn’t it? It isn’t, at least I don’t think it is. You may think differently. Actually you probably do (and that’s OK).

So what’s the one thing I couldn’t do?

Working in the office five days a week again. As I’ve mentioned over the past couple days, I’m in Texas meeting my new colleagues for the first time, also here for a quarterly business review. Anyway, what I’m driving at is the TIME WASTE of an office. There are benefits, don’t get me wrong. Being able to link up with my colleagues about best practices right away rather than hoping they’re on our messenger app is super awesome. However, I’ve been finishing my days around 2 PM. And I’m performing well. But once 2 PM hits, I’m sitting here for three more hours because I want to make sure management knows I’m a hard worker.

Weird, right? It’s insane to me how this pandemic shifted the way we work, how efficient we are on our own, and how little some industries need office space anymore. Shit, I rebooked my flight for an earlier date because I don’t see the use of me staying here and working–I can get much more done at my own house. And my boss knows that. We all know this here, but we’re holding on for dear life to keep the office as “something that still makes sense”.

Listen, it does make sense for some people, hell, maybe even most people. I don’t know. For me however, no. So what’s that one thing I couldn’t do? Work in an office five days a week for 40 hours or so. Nope. Not for me anymore. Couldn’t do it. Hard stop.

As always, I hope things are going super duper awesome for you today. If they aren’t, notice that and do what you can to get out of that funk. Or sit in it. Just be aware of it, that’s the most important part.

Cheers to working from home, people! Without working from home, this blog may not even exist. Actually… it wouldn’t.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Doing Surprisingly Well in Texas

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Hi, everybody!

Quick update for you. I am not dying on this trip. I’m not losing my mind like I did on my last vacation. I’m actually doing quite well.

So what’s changed? I talk about it often but I really believe it comes down to awareness. Self-awareness specifically. I knew coming here I’d be sleeping in a new environment, that my mind might push me to a state of loneliness, that being without boxing might throw me in a hole.

Well, it did. But I knew it would and I proactively made some adjustments. New environment? I made sure to bring some stuff to help me sleep BUT I also told myself I’d be more involved/social with my coworkers here, and that helped me integrate a bit better into this new place (yes, I know, I leave in like a day or two, it’s not a big deal… but it is for me).

Loneliness always sets in for me in a hotel room late at night when I’m by myself. But this time I didn’t let it happen. I knew where my mind would go (and it did go there) and I fought that shit away. I did that. I did that by myself. And if you can’t tell, I’m proud of that shit.

And the boxing. I knew this would be an issue for me. Boxing isn’t just a sport for me, it’s therapy. I took action. I Googled for boxing gyms near me and guess what? I found a decent one. Well, not really, but it was enough. I threw my headphones in and went at the bags, hit a few shadow boxing rounds, and tried to not step on any toes. It was worth it. I left feeling recharged.

So what am I talking about here? “Oh, I’m doing so great”. – No. The real thing to take away from this blog is that simple “control the controllable”. And there’s a lot more we can control than we give ourselves credit for.

Whatever you fear today, whatever you’re hesitant about, whatever is holding you back–think about what you can control and focus on that. You can’t do shit about anything else. You’ll need to accept that like I’ve had to accept it.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

Blogging During Meetings

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody.

As you know if you’ve read my recent posts, I’m currently at a Quarterly Business Review for the company I work for. First time meeting my new colleagues! Everyone has been great so far.

To be honest, I’m extremely bored listening to everyone say the same thing during their presentations, so I decided to write to you. I have to type quietly so I don’t get in trouble.

I’m enjoying the conversations we’re having in this room. It’s collaborative and helpful–much different from my last company. I was scared leaving my last company, moving to something new and more challenging, but now I’m happy I took a bet on myself. When’s the last time you bet on yourself? Do it more often–it’s worth it.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.

UPDATE: I did not get caught typing out this blog. Nice.

Morning Thoughts

~ Henry Butterfly ~ Leave a comment

Hi, everybody!

Each and every day we have here is different. There’s times when everything feels like a replay, but really, every single day is different.

We tell ourselves “no” often. Why? We hate hearing no from others.

I would like to move out of my hometown.

When’s the moment I stop thinking about certain people? How can I get closer to that moment in time?

I constantly need to remind myself about gratitude. Typing out that last sentence reminded me this time.

So what the hell was this? Airport thoughts, really. Maybe I need to start bringing my phone in the shower and typing out shower thoughts. That would be… interesting.

Welp, I’m off to Texas. Flight boards in just a few minutes. I’m gonna miss my pups! And the boxing gym. But I’ll be back Thursday. That’s a short, short trip. I should be fine, right? I will be.

I wish you well. Try not to beat the shit out of yourself.